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DoesntMatter
20-04-08, 11:48 AM
I feel like such shit

I was having an OK day until I kept seeing all these couples together and whatever, and unfortunately overhearing other peoples conversations and then hearing about how several of my friends hooked up last night. And then I just thought about some girl I used to like at work who was 1 year younger than me, and when my sister asked if I thought she was cute and I said yeah, my sister laughed and told me she was dating another guy who worked nearby and was in his late 20s

I don't even know what to say because I feel so bad. I feel so bad all I can think of is rattling off endless clips into these guys' chests and breaking their skull with a nice wooden AK stock and beating their corpse into a bloody pile of shit. I'm convinced people don't even think of me as a person because they consider other peoples as to having requirements that I don't

And today I saw a nice easily identifiable car that I remember first semester started honking at me and all the people inside shouted obscenities on like a Friday or Saturday night probably going to a party while I was crossing an intersection coming back from the library, and thought "Shit, if I ever see that car and the person in it I'm going apeshit". Well I saw it today and wanted to beat the driver and everyone in the cars head in with a metal bat and make them the recipient of my anger because they definitely warranted it. Of course in daylight in front of anyone and showing an attitude like that is not smart. You gotta strike when the time is right

God I want to kick their soft stomaches in until they barf up endless pools of blood and just empty slugs into their ****KING HEADS GOD FUCCKING DAMNIT!

Oh yeah, it occured to me how much I would love to kill some motherfuccker in front of their girlfriend if they try belittling me in any way in front of their girl, because why would they need to justify themselves to their girl in that way?

YouTube - 2Pac - Loyal to the game (Remix DJ Quik)

YouTube - Brotha Lynch Hung - Rest In Piss UNCENSORED

Gigabitch
20-04-08, 11:58 AM
Jeeze, DM. That hooker idea is starting to look better and better. You've got to let some steam off in a healthy way.

vashti
20-04-08, 12:00 PM
Maybe you should take up boxing to relieve some of that stress?

Kromat
20-04-08, 12:55 PM
Don't focus on how other people act, as long as you feel good about yourself that is all that matters.
I don't care how those people act, because i know that i'll be respected by more people, that i wont have to act all macho or fake.

P.S. Surround yourself positively and all should be well.
GOOD LUCK !

vashti
20-04-08, 12:59 PM
Hey, DM... what are you doing about your dating life? Have you been actively pursuing anyone besides that girl in your math class? You need to diversify your options.

anachronistic
20-04-08, 06:04 PM
I feel like such shit

I was having an OK day until I kept seeing all these couples together and whatever, and unfortunately overhearing other peoples conversations and then hearing about how several of my friends hooked up last night. And then I just thought about some girl I used to like at work who was 1 year younger than me, and when my sister asked if I thought she was cute and I said yeah, my sister laughed and told me she was dating another guy who worked nearby and was in his late 20s

I don't even know what to say because I feel so bad. I feel so bad all I can think of is rattling off endless clips into these guys' chests and breaking their skull with a nice wooden AK stock and beating their corpse into a bloody pile of shit. I'm convinced people don't even think of me as a person because they consider other peoples as to having requirements that I don't

And today I saw a nice easily identifiable car that I remember first semester started honking at me and all the people inside shouted obscenities on like a Friday or Saturday night probably going to a party while I was crossing an intersection coming back from the library, and thought "Shit, if I ever see that car and the person in it I'm going apeshit". Well I saw it today and wanted to beat the driver and everyone in the cars head in with a metal bat and make them the recipient of my anger because they definitely warranted it. Of course in daylight in front of anyone and showing an attitude like that is not smart. You gotta strike when the time is right

God I want to kick their soft stomaches in until they barf up endless pools of blood and just empty slugs into their ****KING HEADS GOD FUCCKING DAMNIT!

Oh yeah, it occured to me how much I would love to kill some motherfuccker in front of their girlfriend if they try belittling me in any way in front of their girl, because why would they need to justify themselves to their girl in that way?

God, haha, why, how Christian your thoughts are. :)

Only kidding, don't take that to heart. Be happy for your friends; don't envy them. A friend of mine came back from a party this evening with a girl, and I will admit, I am a little jealous, but it doesn't really bother me. In fact, I am happy for him, because I think that guy is still a virgin, and he is such a nice guy that he deserves this girl that seems like she's nice. You don't need to sit down and beat yourself over it, or compare yourself, or be jealous. Better yet, you SHOULD be observing yourself, as well as your friends, figure out what makes the women like them, figuring what you're doing wrong and leave it at that.

Do you think a woman would want to date a guy with your attitude? What if you did get a girlfriend, and she read this post? What would she think? She would probably be very disturbed, and intimidated by you. Would probably ruin it right then and there. What's with all the violence? My brain never functions on that wavelength. It seems like you've had the last straw, and your saying **** it. I'll admit it, I was actually quite disturbed by the post. Scary that people think about such things. I think you just need to cool down. People screaming stuff at you in their car? Just smile, wave, and continue with your day. It's only something if it bothers you. Make it nothing. Laugh it off. The joke's on them.

You don't need to assert yourself. You need to focus on you. Your life is about you. Don't be so quick to judge. Put yourself in other peoples' shoes. Keep your head on your shoulders, boy.

Mish
20-04-08, 08:52 PM
I feel like such shit

I was having an OK day until I kept seeing all these couples together and whatever, and unfortunately overhearing other peoples conversations and then hearing about how several of my friends hooked up last night.

God I want to kick their soft stomaches in until they barf up endless pools of blood and just empty slugs into their ****KING HEADS GOD FUCCKING DAMNIT!

Oh yeah, it occured to me how much I would love to kill some motherfuccker in front of their girlfriend if they try belittling me in any way in front of their girl, because why would they need to justify themselves to their girl in that way?


Sounds like you are going through some pretty heavy self esteem issues DM. If you were looking at these (above) from a healthy self esteem point of view, these things are all minor trivialities.

Your main issue (at least the way I see it) seems to be from lack of a good positive self image. This is why you get so easily irritated by these couples and all of these people hooking up everywhere (Because you are not). This is why you feel very sensitive towards being belittled. This is why you are thinking back to this work girl (as another lost opportunity, testament to perceived low self worth).

These low esteem perceptions are extremely difficult to go through and the pain they generate is excruciating. But the good news is that the answer to this pain lies within yourself and you don't need anyone else to find this answer for you. All you need to do is believe in yourself and in your own worthiness. And as you look back into the past and find and get saturated by examples of you being worthy of kindness from others, of you being worthy of love from others, of you being a worthy individual with a lot of potential and hope for the future you will begin to re-build your self esteem and re-build your own perceived value. You will look at your shortcomings as opportunities for growth. You will modify them and become bigger and stronger you. You will gain confidence from proving yourself. You will grow stronger by building yourself up physically by picking up sport and going to Gym. You will find new friends who are trustworthy and reliable, because you will build outstanding people's and social skills and everyone won't be able to get enough of you. They will come to you with questions and for support. You will look deep down inside and become the you you have always dreamt to be. You will modify your behavior to be the change you would like to see in the world, the change that you would like to encourage in others. Envy and belittlement of others will no longer be issues, they will no longer penetrate your confidence and self esteem protected by so many layers, they will bounce off you like rain drops. And as you lead by this positive example you will see yourself as an individual with real positive power and means of bringing about positive change. Your self esteem and confidence will be the mirror of positive outcomes of your actions.

All you need to do is believe in yourself and believe in the positive change in the future that awaits you. Believe in it because it's the truth.

boobaa
21-04-08, 12:31 AM
I feel you DM. Today I walked through a city and belive me, almost EVERY person I walked past was holding somones hand... creepy. I have never seen such an amount of couples in one day, better yet, ina few hours... Luckily I wasn't mad. Even though I think my crush has a party-boy type bf.

But I have my points of madness. And that is when people talk apeshit. It disgusts me that most of the girls there are, are the ones who giggle at everything, or talk only about their current fascination over something. And these girls aren't the youngest ones also. And then there are boys who use that shit. Why are people so ****in stupid?

DM, get yourself a good knife, I suggest the types with sharp curved tip (like a hook). The next time that car stops and honks at you, tell them wait and tell exactly what you think. When the guy in it comes out to kick your ass, quickly slit his throat as he is looking at your face, ready to punch. Then one leg-kick in the stomach and knees. Head against the asphalt. That should do the trick.

Speaking of violence. There are actually a lot of people with supressed violence. And some of these are pretty serious, only thing that holds them back is the common sence that they would not feel goiod afterwards, but they are very capable of doing something.

Kromat
21-04-08, 08:00 AM
Anyone is capable of creating violent acts, it's our conscious that holds us back,
because you won't be respected or feel good about it afterwards.

P.S. With any type of anger, people get an adrenaline that they didn't
even they had, I say that guy better watch himself next time.

bohemiandonut
21-04-08, 01:15 PM
Listen to music.

DoesntMatter
22-04-08, 06:20 AM
I'm just so aware of my dick, every time I sit down I feel my balls resting on the chair. And wanking isn't getting rid of my feelings, I seriously jack off like 3 - 4 times a day now

GrkScorp
22-04-08, 06:33 AM
I'm just so aware of my dick, every time I sit down I feel my balls resting on the chair. And wanking isn't getting rid of my feelings, I seriously jack off like 3 - 4 times a day now

Dude.., i've seen your picture in the gallery.., you're not a bad looking guy.., what's the story then? Why are you choosing to live this way exactly?

Mish
22-04-08, 07:13 AM
Dude.., i've seen your picture in the gallery.., you're not a bad looking guy.., what's the story then? Why are you choosing to live this way exactly?

I am guessing partly self esteem and partly growing up process. Being a teenager isn't easy we were all there at some stage. I know a few people who can relate.

misombra
22-04-08, 07:14 AM
smoke a leño.

Junket
22-04-08, 09:43 AM
Dude.

Hooker.

You might as well.

DoesntMatter
22-04-08, 09:51 AM
I know Fras, I know. This summer when I have that 1 week break during classes I'm going to Niagara Falls with some friends for a long weekend. Of course we'll drink and go to the casinos and arcades and whatever, but it would be a great time to get laid for the first time, during a trip with my friends instead of me by myself at some hotel room in Toronto

But I did have a nightmare like a month or so ago, where I fuccked some girl who may or may not have been an escort but had all the usual markings of one. Anyway I panicked like hell that I got some STD, and woke up and felt great I didn't

I feel like if I bang a hooker I should get some sperm frozen first in case I get HIV or something. Because regardless, I want to have kids in one way or another. I need to look into that more

bohemiandonut
22-04-08, 12:32 PM
Yeah, gear up for the trip thing. I know a dude who was in far worse shape than you that landed some german babe on a road trip to canada. Maybe you should cut out the soda-pop from your diet. Often the need to jerk it comes from anxiety, not from feeling sexy. High sugar intake is the leading cause of anxiety (and depression, in fact.) Yeah if you don't believe me you can look it up.

Anyway DM don't be discouraged because dumbfcks like me have gotten laid a few times. You sound like you're anxious to lose your virginity but trust me, the day after the day is just like any other day.

Just stay on your path MD, oops i mean DM. ( ; When your train comes all of this will probably seem quite trivial.

GrkScorp
22-04-08, 12:39 PM
I know Fras, I know. This summer when I have that 1 week break during classes I'm going to Niagara Falls with some friends for a long weekend. Of course we'll drink and go to the casinos and arcades and whatever, but it would be a great time to get laid for the first time, during a trip with my friends instead of me by myself at some hotel room in Toronto

Why don't you come down to NYC instead this summer? You can have any girl of your choice.., (except for celebrities)

Even if all you're looking for is sex.., (i'll try my best to swallow that).., but even if that's all you're looking for.., I feel it's much better to have your first time with a real person.., where there is some degree of emotional connection and feelings involved.., as opposed to a soul-less meat-bag with a price-tag on it..

You only get one first time.., and you remember it for the rest of your life.., it's a memory that you can't delete even if you try.., you're stuck with it for life.., and even if it's not exactly the best.., at least it's not a memory you constantly have of you having sex with a hooker.., I can only imagine the amount of guilt and shame you'd burden yourself with if you did something like that.. Just my opinion DM.. just looking out for you..

Best,

GrkScorp

DoesntMatter
23-04-08, 12:49 AM
Either way I'll be pretty busy until next summer

Junket
23-04-08, 05:40 AM
Yeah, gear up for the trip thing. I know a dude who was in far worse shape than you that landed some german babe on a road trip to canada. Maybe you should cut out the soda-pop from your diet. Often the need to jerk it comes from anxiety, not from feeling sexy. High sugar intake is the leading cause of anxiety (and depression, in fact.) Yeah if you don't believe me you can look it up.

Anyway DM don't be discouraged because dumbfcks like me have gotten laid a few times. You sound like you're anxious to lose your virginity but trust me, the day after the day is just like any other day.

Just stay on your path MD, oops i mean DM. ( ; When your train comes all of this will probably seem quite trivial.

Worthwhile advice is frowned upon.

That's another infraction for you.

Lozenger
24-04-08, 01:36 AM
I feel like such shit

I was having an OK day until I kept seeing all these couples together and whatever, and unfortunately overhearing other peoples conversations and then hearing about how several of my friends hooked up last night. And then I just thought about some girl I used to like at work who was 1 year younger than me, and when my sister asked if I thought she was cute and I said yeah, my sister laughed and told me she was dating another guy who worked nearby and was in his late 20s

I don't even know what to say because I feel so bad. I feel so bad all I can think of is rattling off endless clips into these guys' chests and breaking their skull with a nice wooden AK stock and beating their corpse into a bloody pile of shit. I'm convinced people don't even think of me as a person because they consider other peoples as to having requirements that I don't

And today I saw a nice easily identifiable car that I remember first semester started honking at me and all the people inside shouted obscenities on like a Friday or Saturday night probably going to a party while I was crossing an intersection coming back from the library, and thought "Shit, if I ever see that car and the person in it I'm going apeshit". Well I saw it today and wanted to beat the driver and everyone in the cars head in with a metal bat and make them the recipient of my anger because they definitely warranted it. Of course in daylight in front of anyone and showing an attitude like that is not smart. You gotta strike when the time is right

God I want to kick their soft stomaches in until they barf up endless pools of blood and just empty slugs into their ****KING HEADS GOD FUCCKING DAMNIT!

Oh yeah, it occured to me how much I would love to kill some motherfuccker in front of their girlfriend if they try belittling me in any way in front of their girl, because why would they need to justify themselves to their girl in that way?



I know what you mean - couples are everywhere and I get down about it sometimes as I've never been part of a relationship in my life so far and everyone else around keeps talking about things they did with their ex or what they are doing with their bfs.

But killing people is scary. Don't worry about others - seriously. I mean, what kind of life do you want? To kill the people in that car, to get banged up in a small prison for years with weight loads of guilt on your shoulders, is that it?

Take up something like kickboxing or Rugby where you can let out all that negative energy inside you. Then you will feel so much better about everything and will be able to attract the right sort of people :)

X

bohemiandonut
24-04-08, 03:17 AM
Yeah, DM needs to seriously take up some martial arts.

Tommy
24-04-08, 10:00 AM
Being a teenager isn't easy we were all there at some stage.

What I wouldn't give to go back, it was so ****ing easy lol.
DM, you need to get into some MMA, jitsu or boxing and take that shit out on a bag....

The only thing that got me with your post was the "waiting until the time is right line". That's pretty "im gonna shoot up a school" like.

Cheer up man! ;)

Tommy
24-04-08, 10:02 AM
Take up something like kickboxing or Rugby where you can let out all that negative energy inside you. Then you will feel so much better about everything and will be able to attract the right sort of people :)

Just read this, I just posted the same thing. It really is such a release of tension etc. Also being active regularly in a gym, it's my church pretty much. The one and only place where I zone and just work on exactly what I need and WANT to do. Just gotta find something constructive.

1averagejoe
24-04-08, 11:01 AM
Being a dork most of my life I've gone through the crap you're going through. Still kind of am, just not so much now that I am in college and I do my own thing now. I've learned to just cope with it and realized as you mature (age is irrelevant here because some people don't) people tend to act less stupid. You also begin to ignore and not even care what others think.

I've had retards yell at me from the street just like you had, I've envied friends for having girlfriends, and I'll be honest I still do to a certain extent but that's just my feelings that I learn to control. You can't act out on your emotions, that's what separates us from the primates.

Don't go ****ing some whorebag...there's no rush to losing your virginity. I'm still a virgin, I'm 19, and I'm glad I didn't give it to my cheating whore of an ex girlfriend. You'll know when the time is right. Like people said, the first time is always something you'll remember and I want mine to be special and I'm sure you do as well. Just be patient, good things come in time.

Start running or something man, you seem to have a lot of bottled up emotions that you need to get out somehow. Violence isn't the way to do it.

Kromat
24-04-08, 11:03 AM
To relieve stress, i workout doing Cardio, Yoga, Weights, Abs, and also have some fun with Latin / Ballroom Dancing.
Watching documentaries where your learning about a specific place, or enjoying the nature scenes.
Talking to friends that know how to cope with your situation, suggesting things to do or just making you comfortable when things seem like they're going downhill from here.
Playing sports and trying your hardest to help your team win.
Try things that you normally were too afraid to do before.
Meet new people, and make them like you by staying positive, so you portray confidence, and makes you feel better about yourself.

P.S. Just head to places where there's no negativity and people accept you, instead of judging you.