PDA

View Full Version : do you ever think about if your partner died?



PussyCatDoll
10-05-08, 04:07 AM
it happens to me when i'm alone, mostly during the night when i can't sleep..but i think about if my bfs not there because he's dead. it really freaks me out.

its like it just pops up in my mind. and as soon as it does it brings tears to my eyes.

i can't help it. sometimes, especially now that i'm super stressed, and coz i haven't seen him much lately. it's not like i sit and think nows a good time to think about this, so lets cry.

does this happen to anyone? he has to have a minor surgery aswell and thats freaking me out.

GrkScorp
10-05-08, 04:49 AM
does this happen to anyone?

When my grandfather passed away.., (car accident).., it started to happen more often..

I would randomly get flashbacks and think.., what if today.., the next moment.., or some time in the future.., something happens to someone I know.., a loved one.., family.., a friend.., a partner.., my dog.., and I never get to show them how much I love them.., how much they mean to me.., how much of an impact they've had on my life.., what if they are no more.., and I lose that chance to show them and let them know everything I wanted to?

So for the longest time.., everyone I knew would get random calls and hugs.., they though "I" was dying or that something was wrong and that I was hiding something from them.., but I think it's normal to think about the worst possible situation for those you really care about..

Best,

GrkScorp

Junket
10-05-08, 05:17 AM
Yeah, I've thought about that plenty of times.

vashti
10-05-08, 05:18 AM
My sisters and I have made a plan for the time when our spouses kick the bucket, actually.

What's the surgery your BF is having, PCD?

Junket
10-05-08, 05:22 AM
That's LNF?!

squirrley
10-05-08, 06:02 AM
I have thought about it, and I wouldn't remarry. I couldn't bare the thought of being without my husband. He had a scare 2 years ago, thought he was having a heart attack. It scared me. I know I can make it on my own, but I don't want to be without him. He's my best friend. I hate the thought of losing my son before my time, it breaks my heart. Or my parents. Or anyone. Death is a part of life, reality or not, it's not a pleasant thought and I do try to take everyday and stress to everyone how much I love them.

DoesntMatter
10-05-08, 08:10 AM
Odd you bring this up now, I just had a nightmare last night that my dad had a heart attack and died

Junket
10-05-08, 08:54 AM
It's LostnFound!

Pears
10-05-08, 09:49 AM
I've thought of it too! I'm actually quite paranoid. Almost everyday I think about death in one way or another. I'm morbid. :(

However, I'm one of the most cheerful person anyone could meet. I could win a smiling contest for smiling the longest, but I am very dark inside. Oops, that was supposed to be a secret. I guess you all know now.

I know I'd freak out if my partner died. There's no benefit in dwelling about that now though. When it happens, it happens, and I'll think about it when it comes.

Kromat
10-05-08, 11:38 AM
Well sometimes this is a state that you feel when your dreaming, after having
a bad day and think that everything is going wrong is going to happen to you.
Others might just get stressed out enough and actually think
about committing suicide when no one is expecting it.
We have to be happy and strong with what we have and everything will be ok.

P.S. I've thought about committing suicide multiple times because I thought I wasn't good
enough and felt isolated, but then decided to myself that it would be the easy way out.
I saw inside that I can actually make something out of myself and start thinking
positive and try and accomplishment something that I would be proud of.
As long as I have a mindset of trying my best and giving it all I have, eventually
everything will come together, and I'll be satisfied in the direction that my life going.

PussyCatDoll
10-05-08, 06:26 PM
When my grandfather passed away.., (car accident).., it started to happen more often..

GrkScorp

i've been to way too many funerals. i don't wana have to go to anymore.


My sisters and I have made a plan for the time when our spouses kick the bucket, actually.

What's the surgery your BF is having, PCD?

you have a plan? geeze vash, not an insurance scam or something?

i don't really like talking about it with him. he has to be unconcious and spend the night there. its in his mouth.


It's LostnFound!

well done fras. way to blow the cover.

vashti
10-05-08, 08:34 PM
you have a plan? geeze vash, not an insurance scam or something?


Nope - living arrangements. We are going to buy a big house with a porch and have 3 rocking chairs where we will sit and drink, smoke, and squirt kids that step on the grass with our garden hose. :D

Junket
10-05-08, 11:11 PM
well done fras. way to blow the cover.

Don't blame me, blame Vash.

Anyway, don't worry, nobody else will ever know.

I'm glad your back, I hate it when regulars leave.

misombra
10-05-08, 11:21 PM
when my bf dies i'm going to become a lesbian.

PussyCatDoll
11-05-08, 01:08 AM
woo go Sombre.

we spend a lot of time together thats all. i can't imagine life without him..

Tone
11-05-08, 03:39 AM
Death is just part of the cycle. Just the passing on to whatever comes next.

We make a big deal out of it, mostly because we are selfish, I would say. When someone passes over, we mourn them because WE want them to still be around. To fullfil a void in OUR life. In death there is no more pain, no stress, no more suffering - at least not in the sense that we know it now. Who knows what comes next? Something has to.

Everyone asks the question... why me? Why now? Why here? When you really think about those questions you realize there is more going on than our minds can fathom. Why me? Why now? Why here?

With all that being said, I'll be the first to admit I do get sad about relatives/friends/pets dying and if I had a S/O I'm sure the thought of her dying would terrify me. I think it's just human nature to take a selfish approach on death of loved ones. It's just natural to us. This is just interesting to me.

PussyCatDoll
11-05-08, 04:07 AM
for us, if someone dies they must be buried, and once their buried girls cannot go to the graveyard.

so out of all the people i've lost the last time i see them, really is the last time i see them.

misombra
11-05-08, 04:34 AM
everybody's going to die. we have to focus on the relationship we have with people while they're alive.

Gigabitch
11-05-08, 04:39 AM
I assume my fiancee is going to outlive me and so is my daughter. Everybody else I could handle, I think.

PussyCatDoll
11-05-08, 04:42 AM
o ye, whens the wedding?

lets cheer up this morbid thread

Gigabitch
11-05-08, 04:45 AM
August 23rd. If we both live that long.

Kromat
11-05-08, 06:52 AM
For me, If someone died in my family, I would rather take their place, because of all the things that
I have been through to become stable, and they have so much more to gain and promise to people.
It'll still take time until I see my career become a reality and get that special someone to make my heart fulfilled.

misombra
11-05-08, 07:10 AM
i asked mikey if he ever thought about me dying and he said yes and that he would be devastated and it would be a great tragedy.

boobaa
11-05-08, 08:18 AM
My grandmother once told me that there are periods in life where some thoughts may come true. She was right. Now I am wondering every day, whether I should live in regret or try to move on.

In some points, I have always fantazised what it would be if someone died, lined up negative and even positive things of it.

Kromat
11-05-08, 08:22 AM
My grandmother once told me that there are periods in life where some thoughts
may come true. She was right. Now I am wondering every day, whether I should live in regret or try to move on.

We live in regret one way or another in our lives, we can't please everyone to satisfy their needs.
It has to be a decision of what fells that will be right for you at the moment and in the future.
People get hurt all the time, it's how we overcome the guilt that makes
us strong, and show that it has to be done to protect others.

Lipp
11-05-08, 09:41 AM
Realizing that you only live once is a great motivator to ask a special girl out for a date.

Kromat
11-05-08, 03:34 PM
Realizing that you only live once is a
great motivator to ask a special girl out for a date.

If the time isn't right, then there is no point
in trying, because it won't go anywhere.
That is why I'm waiting and it's not because I'm afraid, it
just lets me focus more on what my current goal in life is.

PussyCatDoll
12-05-08, 02:39 AM
August 23rd. If we both live that long.

post some pics! i have planned all my wedding.

flowers, dress the lot right down to seating arangement.

now i just need the groom..

bluesummer
14-05-08, 01:48 AM
I don't even want to think about my bf dying. He's my best friend, and the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. It would tear me apart.

I agree with Tony about the selfishness of mourning though, I've always felt the same way. Not that I wouldn't be upset if someone I loved died, but I do recognize that there's no need to overdo it....they're probably better off anyway, and I'm just crying over MY loss. My Grandma wants us to have a party when she dies. Seriously, a party.

vashti
14-05-08, 09:08 AM
I think traditiona grieving is healthy for the survivors. It makes the whole process more "real" and allows people who are still in denial (a normal part of the grieving process) understand that their loved one really IS dead.

IndiReloaded
14-05-08, 10:23 AM
I live my life assuming I'll make it to 100. Otherwise, what's the point?

I agree w/Tone. If I *don't* make it, I sure won't care about it. Dead can't feel. Funny how many 'live' ppl walking around act like they are already dead, tho...

misombra
14-05-08, 10:34 AM
yeah. i know several people like that. zombies.

YouTube - The Cranberries - Zombie

Lozenger
22-05-08, 07:20 AM
I don't dream about a partner dying as I don't have one , but sometimes I have nightmares about my mum dying, and that my brother, sister and me had to move far away from home and friends to live with my dad and that we werel all be poor and made nothing of our lives. And sometimes I have nightmares about my friends dying, or the person I have a crush on dying or even about myself dying.

I don't fear death for myself, but I do for others - because obviously they are a big part of my life.

X

littlewing
22-05-08, 09:05 AM
When everything is going great then out of the blue pomps a picture of your loved one dead... I think this is some minor mental disorder, when we just pull negative thoughts for no reaason.

I see the dearest to me dead in my dreams at times and whatever I feel that moment will never compare to what I will actually feel when it will happen.

... I don't make any advance arrangements

Kromat
22-05-08, 10:48 AM
Death will come at us eventually, it's how we let people remember us that will matter at the end.
It would be sad to lose a parent more than a sibling because they have raised us and taught us the ways of life.
I don't have a significant other at the moment, so I won't know until it happens and how it develops.
If one of my friends passed away, it would be more tragic for the families than myself.

P.S. It can happen at any moment, so cherish the time you have together, before their time fades and your left with only memories and pictures of how it was to be in their presence and how they made you feel.

Mr Wigglz
29-05-08, 08:57 PM
When my girl is having a bad depressing day I meet her at the pond. When she takes awhile I start to freak out and txt her like crazy and call her to see if she is alright. I love her to bits. I'm madly in love with her. I tell her that I'm going to be with her till the day I die. And if she dies then I'm going with her.

P.S we both have bipolar disorder. I think about killing myself a few times a week. I always put myself down all the time. I could be realy happy then ill pull all of the negatives of my life out and beat myself up about it. If my girl dies I'm going with her. I'm scared shitless about death but I love her and I couldn't live without her.

jinx343
29-05-08, 10:49 PM
i dont think of my ex dead.. but i wish he is! lol :D im bad..lol