Am I being strung along or should I just go with the flow?
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Thread: Am I being strung along or should I just go with the flow?

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    Am I being strung along or should I just go with the flow?

    Been on two dates with this girl. She lives 30 mins away, but drives to the city to see me. We were supposed to be going out on Tuesday, but she asked to postpone it due to having to work at a parents evening on her teaching placement. She asked if I would be free anytime at the weekend? I said I could only do 9pm on Saturday or 7pm on Sunday. She said she was out with friends on Sunday as it was bank holiday weekend and that she "definitely couldn't do Saturday at 9pm".

    I asked when she was next free and she said next Wednesday, so I said 7pm and she said "Sounds good ".

    She's postponed and re-arranged our previous two dates but we still met up.

    Anyway, I told my friend about this and he said he created a fake profile on POF (I didn't ask him to do this) and he said she replied saying "hey hows you x" so he asked what she was up to this weekend. She said she was going out with friends on Sunday night so she's having a quiet one on Saturday night.

    Now she told me she definitely couldn't do Saturday night, she didn't tell me she was busy, just that she "definitely couldn't do it". Am I right in thinking she might have just wanted a chilled night in preparation of drinking a lot with her friends the next day? She's also had a hectic week of assignment deadlines, presentations and job interviews, so is it possible she just wanted some alone/relaxing time?

    I'm also thinking that 9pm was also a problem, because she has to travel 30 mins to see me and 30 mins back. That, plus how long our dates usually are..

    It does miff me that she messaged my friend back on there, but I am also using it too anyway. She hits up my phone a lot, but not so much this week. Before this week she would message me every 1-2 days but this week it's not been as frequent and she only initiated Monday night, then a drunk text on Thursday night.

    The drunk text on Thursday (she's done this 3 times now, every time she gets drunk with friends) she sent me was her inviting me to a party on the 20th so her friends could meet me. I agreed but the following day she said "Omg totally just read this :') I was so drunk last night.. not good! Omg, I'll talk to you about it on Wednesday. Don't book it off just yet hahahaa :') xxx".

    We do HAVE a date on Wednesday. Should I just go with the flow and just assume that if she wants to keep going on dates that I shouldn't be bothered if she's messaging other guys? What worries me is the intensity of her texting has toned down a lot this week in comparison and that she's gone from initiating a LOT to not as much, which makes me wonder if she's started texting someone else. Like I say, that's up to her because we aren't exclusive so she can do what she wants.

    I did text her Thursday at 3pm but she didn't reply, then she posted a facebook status at 4pm saying she got the job with lots of her friends commenting on it. I liked her status and congratulated her. She pressed like on it and so did her best friend, she then replied to my text but it felt like I had to remind her. I ended the conversation after, then 3 hours later she drunk texted me out the blue.

    She's also set her Facebook so only SHE can add people and she hasn't added anyone else. She added me after our first date, so I'd assume she would add a different guy if there was something happening.

    I know I sound too invested, but that's why I'm venting on here. I am talking to other girls, which is why I shouldn't be bothered if she's using it too.

    Do I just keep it going as normal with her as long as we're going on dates? If she postpones or cancels a second time, I've decided I'll cut contact and remove her off facebook.
    Last edited by fmfan08; 30-04-17 at 08:05 AM.

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    Yes, it seems like you should try your best to remain casual and just enjoy her company when you get together. It sounds like she's just having some fun and, sorry to say, isn't totally enamored. I'd say just make sure you're not initiating everything, texts, date requests, etc.. I understand the feeling of being too invested even when you know it's just casual, but the reason why you probably feel this way is because she's not seeming so invested and she's got a busy life, so yeah, you're more drawn to her. It kind of sounds like the timing might not be right for the two of you, even though the vibes are good. So, maybe if it doesn't seem to go in the direction you want, or the behavior gets too frustrating, just end it with good communication and maybe you can revisit her later.

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    what exactly is the problem?
    If you think I am insulting you with my post or bashing you: You do not get the point.
    I am not here to insult or bash anyone. I offer up my free time to help. Take from my post what is useful to you.
    If you are angry about my post or myself, then please stop and think how that happened. Usually that is the way the brain responds if a critical belief system is challenged (its called cognitive dissonance). If you have trouble with it please answer in the thread. I will come back to you.

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    What did kids do to vent and get simple dating advice before the interweb?

    Oh, and removing her from facebook is the ultimate slap in the face. Yes, facebook likes and adds are now the de facto dating standard. She liked your post and added you as a friend so I think you are now engaged.

    Come on, if you want to keep seeing her, do it. You both are looking for someone else or are at least open to meeting someone else so why are you getting hung up on her?

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    Create your own website & blog! No programming knowledge required!
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    Do you want to make her your girlfriend? Just ask her to be exclusive. What's your problem?

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