My co-worker crush has lost interest and moved on to another guy, what to do?
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Thread: My co-worker crush has lost interest and moved on to another guy, what to do?

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    My co-worker crush has lost interest and moved on to another guy, what to do?

    So I've had this crush for a while. We got pretty close, messaging all day via skype in work. Then i noticed things started to change when she started to talk to my friend in work. She stopped initiating contact with me and becoming less enthusiastic when answering me. She is now very interested in my friend, i can see them looking at each other all day over the monitors, laughing etc, just like the way we used to do.

    Basically she has shifted everything we had from me to him and now doesn't bother with me. She will talk fine to me face to face, very friendly and polite. But when it comes to messaging, she has completely cut me off and moved on to another guy. I even asked her if i had done something wrong. She said she was just busy with work. Even though she knows i can see her talking to this other guy pretty much constantly for 8 hours a day....

    Its driving me insane. I get so filled with jealousy and anger. I know i need to forget about her and move on but it's difficult when i see her everyday and see the both of them getting on so well right in front of me. I can even hear them typing all day.

    I know she has lost interest and found what she needed in someone else, the jealousy is the hardest part. I don't know if i should just ignore her completely, avoid looking at her when i walk past or look up. Stop talking completely? I know i will lose her completely, but i don't know if there is any other option. I always feel like i'm competing with this other guy and coming off second best, it makes me feel pathetic.

    So should i completely ignore her to get over her?

    FYI. She has a long time boyfriend outside of work

    Thanks
    Last edited by fenderguy; 21-04-17 at 01:35 AM.

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    this is the 7th thread u made about the same problem

    how about updating ONE of them?
    If you think I am insulting you with my post or bashing you: You do not get the point.
    I am not here to insult or bash anyone. I offer up my free time to help. Take from my post what is useful to you.
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    I didn't think anyone would reply to the same thread, don't really know how this works

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    you open ONE thread. for you probably in the love advise section and then you discuss your problem there.
    not several. It makes contributions so hard to follow as well as clutters up the board.
    If you think I am insulting you with my post or bashing you: You do not get the point.
    I am not here to insult or bash anyone. I offer up my free time to help. Take from my post what is useful to you.
    If you are angry about my post or myself, then please stop and think how that happened. Usually that is the way the brain responds if a critical belief system is challenged (its called cognitive dissonance). If you have trouble with it please answer in the thread. I will come back to you.

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    This is an interesting one because at the moment I am you in this scenario, not with the jealousy factor, but crushing on a co-worker for sure..

    But I've been the girl in the scenario and trust me.... I hate to say it, but you need to move on.

    Problem A: The glaring one- the long-time boyfriend. I was with a guy for 8 years and was incredibly unhappy, I've now finally broken up with him on my own merits... but trust me, if a girl is willing to cheat or leave someone for you, don't waste your time. If her current relationship is bad, then she needs to figure that out on her own, not because you've persuaded her to do so

    Problem B: It feels like she is giving you clear signals that she is not interested in you in that way and if your jealousy is really apparent at work it will only come off as desperate and sad and it will push her further away.

    My advice is to continue to be her friend and don't disrespect her in any way, and in the meantime, talk to, (not necessarily flirt with in an obvious manner) women that you find attractive. Her reaction would be a good indicator of how she feels about you if she is interested in you at all. Either way, it shows confidence and security, and you might even meet someone else by just putting yourself out there. Maybe insert yourself into conversations between her and the friend by telling an amusing story or joke that relates to the topic. She'll be flattered that it seems like men are competing over her without you puffing out your chest and wanting to fight one another.

    Confidence is one of the sexiest traits a man can have, but among others are, respect, sincerity, honesty, and maturity.

    Jealousy is not one of those. I know it's tough because you have strong feelings for her, but the sooner you start to embrace the reality that it might not happen, the better.

    Your name is Fenderguy--- do you play the guitar? Chicks dig a guy who can play guitar, man. Girls love boyfriends that have great skills lol.

    Hope that helps!

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    Thanks for the reply, art.

    My plan is to not imitate contact with her in work. Which is a bit out of character for me but i feel like i'm begging for attention when i message her first now because she has lost interest. So do you think not initiating contact, reply politely when she messages me and still say hi when we pass is a good plan? Im not going to ignore her completely because that will make me look as if im being a baby.

    The hardest part is having to watch them message all day and see her constantly staring and smile and laugh at him all day, and she still looks at me as if to see if i'm noticing. So i've lowered my chair so that my monitors block her from my view. I know she notices what i'm doing but is it acceptable to do that so i don't need to feel hurt all day?

    And yes i do, also play piano

    Thanks again!

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by artsyfartsy32 View Post
    This is an interesting one because at the moment I am you in this scenario, not with the jealousy factor, but crushing on a co-worker for sure..

    But I've been the girl in the scenario and trust me.... I hate to say it, but you need to move on.

    Problem A: The glaring one- the long-time boyfriend. I was with a guy for 8 years and was incredibly unhappy, I've now finally broken up with him on my own merits... but trust me, if a girl is willing to cheat or leave someone for you, don't waste your time. If her current relationship is bad, then she needs to figure that out on her own, not because you've persuaded her to do so

    Problem B: It feels like she is giving you clear signals that she is not interested in you in that way and if your jealousy is really apparent at work it will only come off as desperate and sad and it will push her further away.

    My advice is to continue to be her friend and don't disrespect her in any way, and in the meantime, talk to, (not necessarily flirt with in an obvious manner) women that you find attractive. Her reaction would be a good indicator of how she feels about you if she is interested in you at all. Either way, it shows confidence and security, and you might even meet someone else by just putting yourself out there. Maybe insert yourself into conversations between her and the friend by telling an amusing story or joke that relates to the topic. She'll be flattered that it seems like men are competing over her without you puffing out your chest and wanting to fight one another.

    Confidence is one of the sexiest traits a man can have, but among others are, respect, sincerity, honesty, and maturity.

    Jealousy is not one of those. I know it's tough because you have strong feelings for her, but the sooner you start to embrace the reality that it might not happen, the better.

    Your name is Fenderguy--- do you play the guitar? Chicks dig a guy who can play guitar, man. Girls love boyfriends that have great skills lol.

    Hope that helps!

    Thanks for the reply, art.

    My plan is to not imitate contact with her in work. Which is a bit out of character for me but i feel like i'm begging for attention when i message her first now because she has lost interest. So do you think not initiating contact, reply politely when she messages me and still say hi when we pass is a good plan? Im not going to ignore her completely because that will make me look as if im being a baby.

    The hardest part is having to watch them message all day and see her constantly staring and smile and laugh at him all day, and she still looks at me as if to see if i'm noticing. So i've lowered my chair so that my monitors block her from my view. I know she notices what i'm doing but is it acceptable to do that so i don't need to feel hurt all day?

    And yes i do, also play piano

    Thanks again!
    Last edited by fenderguy; 22-04-17 at 11:27 PM.

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    Best way how to get girls attention at work is to ignore them and just sometimes say Hi. So yeah its good Idea about not messaging first. From the begining its good but when you message all the time first it gets old. Girls get very nasty when they sense you wil not leave. So you have good plan about stopping messaging her first.
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

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    Quote Originally Posted by pcmaster View Post
    Best way how to get girls attention at work is to ignore them and just sometimes say Hi. So yeah its good Idea about not messaging first. From the begining its good but when you message all the time first it gets old. Girls get very nasty when they sense you wil not leave. So you have good plan about stopping messaging her first.
    Thanks pcmaster, thats the plan. Just wondering how to deal with her messaging me first. Can either ignore or just be polite and don't try to continue the conversation?

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    Create your own website & blog! No programming knowledge required!
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    I would reply if girl messaged me first. If I were still interested in her. It matters what kind of messages you are sending to girl too. Like there are messages that leads nowhere like - How are you doing?
    Im not a pro but remember few things. There are a lot of educational articles and videos about messaging and interacting with girls. Google is your friend.
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

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