In love with a friend

[Spidy]

Like the titel sais, i think i fell in love with one of my friends...
I know her like 2-3 years about now, and i've always seen her as a friend, nothing more. But since a week or 2 i can't get her out of my mind. I keep thinking of her during class, homework, gaming, falling alseep, waking up... all the time. I feel good when she's around, and wanna go visit her after school each day.
pretty obvious...

Now i talked with her (subtile) about love, who she likes ect. (she knows i like "someone", but not its her) and i think she doesn't like me (as more as a friend)

to get to the point:
I'd love to tell her i love her, but i don't want to upset her. And i'm kinda afraid that when she turns me down it will have negative effects on our relationship (as friends)

so:

question 1:
How would you react when you were in her situation, and i would declare my love for you?

question 2:
If i wanna tell her i love her (and i really want to), how/when should i do it?? (i was thinking when we go to a musical togheter in a few weeks)

and there is another friend...
she is in love with me!
though she didn't said she love me, it's quite obvious.
though i like her a lot, i don't love her. And i don't want to say yes just to do her a favour... that just doesn't feels right.

so here's:

Question 3:
How can i turn her down without hurting her feelings??


thanks for your time,

Your friendly neighbourhood spider

[IndiReloaded]

Don't tell her you love her, tell her you like her & would like to go out on a date.

If the other girl hasn't said anything to you, just try to be friendly but in a general sort of way. If she asks you out, just tell her you're flattered but busy. She'll get the point or lose interest eventually.

[Gigabitch]

Obviously, you must treat the girl who has a crush on you as kindly as you hope the girl you like will treat you. How would you like girl #1 to turn you down? Apply this to girl #2.

[Spidy]

thanks for the advice everyone.

and about that date... in a few weeks we're going to a musical together (dutch version of Tarzan).

It's not officially a date, but it's something

[celestialxs]

Indi & Giga both give excellent advice on this subject. You really should follow the Golden Rule in this triangle. If the girl who likes you says anything, remember when responding how you'd like the girl you like to respond if she were to let you down.

Now you said something that caught my eye...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spidy

I'd love to tell her i love her, but i don't want to upset her. And i'm kinda afraid that when she turns me down it will have negative effects on our relationship (as friends)

You said the above statement seemingly with the expectation of being turned down. Go with your gut. If you really feel that she won't reciprocate your feelings, then don't even bother. It's not worth risking your friendship.
I went through a very similar situation with a guy who used to be my best friend. He professed his feelings, I told him I wasn't ready, he got jealous when I dated other guys, and things haven't been the same since. You can find a more detailed depiction of what happened in the following thread: I've fallen in love with my best friend.

I feel really strongly about this particular subject because I really miss my friend and I would hate for anyone else's friendship to disintrigrate when some first-hand experience-based advice could have helped prevent it.

Good luck Spidy