How do women feel about virgin guys? - Love Forum

SquareWheel · #1 (**permalink**) 24-02-08, 02:51 PM

Hello everyone, I'm new here. And I have a question...

I wonder how women generally feel about virgin men? I've encountered a few (online) who seemed to have an actual fetish for virgin men, but they seem to be terribly rare.

The reason I ask is that I'm still a virgin in my forties, and I'm searching for a first partner now. And I'm wondering how women are likely to react if I'm open about my "little problem", and in particular I'm wondering how likely I am to find a woman who'd appreciate a guy in my situation.

miSSleepy · #2 (**permalink**) 24-02-08, 04:55 PM

Ok Honestly, first impressions, like right now, I'm thinking ... at 40? WTF? Too much WoW in your mothers basement? etc etc.
But it really depends on who you are, what you're like, what the reasons are, what you're like as a person.

vashti · #3 (**permalink**) 24-02-08, 10:00 PM

I hope you are a church-going guy. That is the place you are most likely to find someone who won't find this to be.... eccentric.

IndiReloaded · #4 (**permalink**) 25-02-08, 02:12 AM

Let's just say you're 'out there' on the curve.

I would keep the virgin thing to myself.

BTW, I hope you have a good reason for this. And you're not into small kids or animals or something weird (otherwise we'll have to hunt you down). B/c its not THAT hard to find a sexual partner in this day and age.

Assuming you have a reason, mbe you should start a new thread asking for tips from some of the more mature males here (Sphinx, Cam, CB), they might be able to help you.

bluesummer · #5 (**permalink**) 25-02-08, 03:59 AM

I'd likely say that having left it this long is going to present you a problem in finding someone who finds this acceptable.

Like everyone else said, you will need to back this up with a good, sound (non-creepy or illegal) reason. Despite, that is still going to narrow the field for you, unfortunately. Not saying there aren't women out there that are okay with this, because I'm sure there are. They are just few and far between.

You'll probably have to find someone that is also a virgin and can appreciate your situation. Most non-virgins prefer non-virgins.

SquareWheel · #6 (**permalink**) 25-02-08, 07:25 AM

Thanks for the replies, everyone.

And I think my reason for not having found a partner is legitimate. I was one of those nerdy, intellectual kids, growing up in some pretty rough schools. I had a pretty rough ride. And I finished up high school sensitive, introverted, and pretty much turned off to people.

I've been living safely in my comfort zone ever since, but in recent years, I've begun to realize how much I've been missing, and I'm really trying to change now. I've changed a lot; I'm still a mite unsteady on my feet in social situations, but I can go out and chat with strangers now, and it feels great.

But I'm still having a hard time figuring out how to find my first girlfriend; I still don't have a real social life, and I'm still a bit shy about going into clubs or bars. I've been using Adult Friend Finder, openly advertising for a first lover, and I've met a few very nice ladies, but all were older and rather unappealing, not quite the stuff that memorable first times are made of. So I'm still looking. I have high hopes, but it can be discouraging sometimes too. I guess it's frustrating that it seems to come so easily to everyone else.

And I'm really hoping for my first time to be with someone who knows about me and understands, and was okay with it. So that's why I'm being so open about this. And that's why I asked my question, I'm trying to get a feel for attitudes out there.

lastwish · #7 (**permalink**) 25-02-08, 08:36 AM

hmmm..you don't need to let her know you are a virgin. Read up and just go for it. If she likes you enough to go to bed with you....then you are appealing enough.

Tedel · #8 (**permalink**) 25-02-08, 11:54 PM

hehehe... This reminds me the first time I had sex with a woman. I was virgin, she wasn't, and I even had the common problems of the "first time" (i.e. ejacutating too fast). I didn't tell her I was a virgin, but I told her it had been a long while... years.

At the end, she asked me how many years. I guess she obviously noticed my inexperience. When asked, I laughed and told her my age. She first thought I was joking, then she look me into my eyes and said... "You're serious! This was your first time!", hugged me and kissed me.

"Yeah... So how was it for you?", I asked.
"You obviously need some practice", she said, laughing (grr... bitch), "but thanks for giving me this rare privilege, you know? I feel special", blah blah blah...

mm... Which reminds me... Adult FriendFinder? Nah... I wouldn't if I were you. If you have waited for so long, then get a nice relationship with emotional attachment, so you can have sex with someone who loves you and not just wants to f*ck.

Gigabitch · #9 (**permalink**) 26-02-08, 01:51 AM

I agree. You're not going to find her there.

Does your comfort zone border on the real world? I think you should try to find someone you genuinely like and see if she can handle the virgin issue rather than the other way around.

I wonder what you mean by "older" when you say the women you have met on AFF aren't what you're looking for. What exactly ARE you looking for? Are you a guy in his forties who is looking for a girl in her twenties?

bluesummer · #10 (**permalink**) 26-02-08, 04:59 AM

Don't have unrealistic expectations either. There's not a lot of extremely bangin' women in their thirties or forties that are either virgins, or single. You may have to take a second look at your standards.

Only-virgins · #11 (**permalink**) 26-02-08, 05:24 AM

Don't tell them. Why bother? they don't tell you how many guys they sleep with don't tell them how many girls you sleep with...even if it is a zero. If they find your performance lacking because of lack of experience whocares? you are already plowing her.

IndiReloaded · #12 (**permalink**) 26-02-08, 06:04 AM

Okay, here is your honest 'what she will think about your virginity' list, in decreasing order of likelihood:

1. You are lying.
2. You are possibly sick/scary/crazy w/issues.
3. You a majorly hung up on someone (refer to #2).
4. You are very religious/morally upright (refer to #2).
5. You are 'in the closet' about your sexuality (or you moved from being homo to hetero or had a sex change).
6. You are recovering from some kind of major traumatic issue (illness, family problems or the like). Similar to #2 but allows for the possibility you are not nuts.

Please note I am not making any judgement about you, just answering your question about what ladies might tend to think. I think the consensus about keeping quiet about your virginity might be the smartest course. Can be a harsh world out there.

Anyone want to add to this list?

bluesummer · #13 (**permalink**) 26-02-08, 06:06 AM

7. Socially inept

Only-virgins · #14 (**permalink**) 26-02-08, 06:20 AM

8. got out of a 20 year old comma.

Only-virgins · #15 (**permalink**) 26-02-08, 06:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IndiReloaded

Okay, here is your honest 'what she will think about your virginity' list, in decreasing order of likelihood:

1. You are lying.
2. You are possibly sick/scary/crazy w/issues.
3. You a majorly hung up on someone (refer to #2).
4. You are very religious/morally upright (refer to #2).
5. You are 'in the closet' about your sexuality (or you moved from being homo to hetero or had a sex change).
6. You are recovering from some kind of major traumatic issue (illness, family problems or the like). Similar to #2 but allows for the possibility you are not nuts.

Please note I am not making any judgement about you, just answering your question about what ladies might tend to think. I think the consensus about keeping quiet about your virginity might be the smartest course. Can be a harsh world out there.

Anyone want to add to this list?

Good points. I would like to just make sure though that people know that this list is completely the OPPOSITE when you switch sex sides.