yeah, I agree, it's too early. Heck, I didn't hold hands till I was 18.
But you know what? We have no real power over the situation. We are not either of these kids parents. And if our advice is "you're not really in love you're way too young", the OP is simply going to ignore us, and anything else we might have to say.
I personally think 13 is too early. Not too early to hold hands or go see a movie or something, but that's basically just a friendship with a cool name (ie "boy/girlfriend").
But yes, too early for a serious, in-love kind of relationship. But I believe that early teens can and do feel thing strongly. I can't dismiss that, even if I think it's too early.
So, fredettelover, if you are still reading this;
so you two have been going together for more than half a year. The more you know someone, the more you know how to push their buttons.. how to annoy them. Especially if you're used to acting that way with siblings, it can be an automatic kind of thing, even if you don't actually want to annoy each other.
The best thing is to think back on the arguments and work out what happened there. Why were you upset or why was she upset?
Arguments are actually good for a relationship. Why? Because you're taking something that stands between you - like different taste in music or whatever - and you come to a conclusion that actually brings you closer together.
Here's how to argue:
Listen. Listen to what she is saying. Then say "so what you are saying is that ______" and fill in what you think she said.
This sounds really simple I know. But I'm really not patronising you, this is a good exercise for anyone in a relationship.
Because quite often, arguments are based on misunderstandings. And if what you think she said, and what she actually meant, are different things, you'll notice it by doing that
Listening also involves asking her to clarify what she means, so that you can totally understand her point of view and why she feels that way,
even if you don't agree.
And then, it is her turn hear you out about why you disagree.
Don't get too personal, and don't use words like "always" and "never".
Don't say "You ALWAYS do this!", say "when you do this this, it makes me feel bad because _____"
That way, she can understand your point of view and your reason for being upset.
So yes, arguments are a natural, healthy part of any relationship... but ONLY if the arguments are not violent, not angry, not shouty or irrelevant. After a good,
healthy argument, you should feel like you have resolved something, and that you are actually closer together now.
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