The One

[NeoDT]

This is gunna be quite a long post as I want to be as detailed as possible so you can understand what I am going through.
I am 37 yr old male from the uk and 10 yrs ago one of my friends moved in ( she is 35. Love blossomed between us and we have 3 lovely children, then 2 yrs ago she called it a day as the way I dealt with finances caused us to get into debt. We still live in the same house and she is saying I am her best friend and that she couldnt live without me. For the last yr I have cleared us of all debt and have been working hard to provide for the family while she sits at home. She plays a game called world of warcraft all day and I dont stop her, I love her to pieces with all my heart and would do anything for her. If her pc breaks then I fix it etc etc. She never works and I dont mind as her being here makes me feel alive.
Recently she has developed an interst with a guy 11 yrs younger (24) from sweden online thro the game she plays and she knows I am hurting but she says I am the front runner in all of this, but dont know what she means.
They are meeting this weekend to see if anything sparks tho moving away is not on the agenda so they will be having a long distance relationship.
Upto a day or so ago me and my ex still shared passionate kisses and spontanious sex, we hugged and were like a couple in some ways tho sleeping in different rooms.. I am just an emotional wreck atm and dont know what to do, I love her soo much but kinda feel used atm as 10 mins ago when we hugged she said I was smothering her so I walked away and typed this.. I really hope you can help me in someway, especially with what she means by a front runner as she has not ruled out that we will not get together again...

Help me please

[bluesummer]

Wait, wait wait. You broke up, but she still lives with you and doesn't work. She lets you pay all the bills while she plays video games all day and forms long distance relationships with other people, then strings you along while calling you the front runner?

My friend, this woman DOES NOT love you. She is utterly and completely using you. You are not her front runner dear, you are her backup. She knows that if all else fails she can go back to you for money and sex and support, and that you will adore her, for very little in return. I cannot believe you don't see how you are being manipulated here. I understand you love her, but she clearly does not feel the same.

I ask you now, what is it that makes you keep shelling out for this woman who can't commit to you relationship wise and is not putting in any financial responsibility for herself?

[FoxyLaydee]

Bluesummer said it all and I'd like to add that the living situation is unhealthy for you and your children.

[Gigabitch]

What the ****? Oh, no, no, no. This won't do.

Look, I don't care if she's the best piece of ass in the world and is the everlasting love of your life- you have to end this charade. I don't know if you should throw her out, since you've got the kids and all, but something must be done.

What, exactly, is she planning to do if sparks do indeed fly when she meets the Swedish kid? Will he be staying with you when he comes to visit? Maybe you could be a sweetie and sleep on the couch when he's there, since you clearly won't be needing the bed. Or maybe you could just lay down in front of the door like the doormat you are.

Jesus ****, this situation pisses me off! The way she treats you is disgusting and what's even more disgusting is that you let her. You fix her PC? What the hell for? Chuck the thing out into the street.

I strongly recommend that you leave the kids with your mom this weekend while she's in Sweden and go out and find yourself a willing sex partner. See if she's strong enough to pull your head out of your ass for you.

[IndiReloaded]

Are you saying that you were working AND looking after finances while your wife does nothing?

Man, I hope your house is spotless, and both food & sex are gourmet b/c if it ain't you are being taken for a ride.

Sounds like you made a mistake (how big, did you blow her family inheritance on gambling--perspective) and she's got you running big-time on the Guilt Card.

A partnership is *a partnership*. You help each other. You give & get.

The online boyfriend? I can't even begin to say all the things wrong w/that in your situation.

What are you getting out of this again?

[Thatguy92790]

Drop her like she is hot man. I know what it's like to be a doormat or "puppy dog" in a relationship, but man you are far more than this. I wouldn't take this. You are only 37. Drop her like she is hot and find you another

[Lozenger]

Quote:

Originally Posted by FoxyLaydee

Bluesummer said it all and I'd like to add that the living situation is unhealthy for you and your children.

I agree. You are being used by this woman. She doesn't sound a good mother if all she does is play world of war craft.That's not what a family should be like and you certainly should not have handled that debt by yourself - it is something you should have done together. And it isn't fair on the children when she is thinking about hooking up with the Swedish person.

If that is your house, you must throw her out and don't fix her computer again - since when does she deserve it? You need to help her realise that she is wasting her life infront of a computer and not concentrating enough on what she has - a family.

I hope you find the strength to do what you feel is right for you and your children.

Best Wishes

xxxxxx