What should I do? - Love Forum

smart · #1 (**permalink**) 09-05-08, 02:43 PM

I have a problem. About three times a week I have a chance to talk to a girl who I have feelings for.
And I think that she likes me to, but she has a boyfriend (who she talks about often), and I'm in the middle of breaking off with my girlfriend.

Just a couple of days ago she told me how nice I am, and she smiles to me, and talks to me, and I noticed that sometimes when I am not looking she looks at me.

So I need advice. What should I do? Should I tell her how I feel or let her go? I am affraid of telling her how I feel, because I don't know how she will react. I just don't want for her to be angry at me and not talk to me anymore.

P.S: I'm 27 and she is 25

Pears · #2 (**permalink**) 09-05-08, 02:46 PM

You can tell her how you feel if you are willing to face the consequences, which may be awkwardness between you and her if she doesn't want to be more involved with you.

jinx343 · #3 (**permalink**) 09-05-08, 10:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smart

I have a problem. About three times a week I have a chance to talk to a girl who I have feelings for.
And I think that she likes me to, but she has a boyfriend (who she talks about often), and I'm in the middle of breaking off with my girlfriend.

smart.. you said so she's talks about her bf often (which i think shows her feelings for her bf is).. and you only "think" she likes you, too. maybe she does like you.. but in what level?

is she the reason why you're about to break up with your gf?

Quote:

Originally Posted by smart

Just a couple of days ago she told me how nice I am, and she smiles to me, and talks to me, and I noticed that sometimes when I am not looking she looks at me.

do you have an eye at the side of your head or what? lol just kidding

kidding aside, as i have said, she might like you but you have to know, before you go to cloud 9, in what level?

coz you know, once a person is infatuated or in love, all those crazy wonderful and hopeful things go inside our head. we dont think straight. just that we have those wonderful feelings at the moment.

Quote:

Originally Posted by smart

So I need advice. What should I do? Should I tell her how I feel or let her go? I am affraid of telling her how I feel, because I don't know how she will react. I just don't want for her to be angry at me and not talk to me anymore.
P.S: I'm 27 and she is 25

before you jump to conlcusions, i say, you should at least know where you stand. you seem to be in a good talking relationship. so you could definitely tell her what you think or feel in a way that it won't scare her. you could have an opne and honest conversation. you said you think she likes you, so i bet now is the time to know that... if she likes you (depends on what level) she wont misjudge you or say things that would offend or hurt you in some way. and she wouldnt react in a negative way.

why should she be angry to hear that you like her? if i dont have feelings for a guy friend and he says he has feelings for me, i might freak out a bit in the first few seconds.. but knowing that someone admires you, it's heaven! lol

but what about her bf??? seems like she adores her bf if she keeps talking about him with you. so you'd better get yourself ready with that one...

just dont push if she says she just likes you as a friend. it might really freak her out and scare her away. then you wont have a chance to let her really see and know you.. make her change her mind....

best of luck! but i feel sorry for your girlfriend. i know she might go through a rough time if she's not yet ready to let you go. best of luck to her as well.

Gigabitch · #4 (**permalink**) 10-05-08, 02:26 AM

Don't tell her how you feel right now, for two reasons: Firstly, she's made it clear that she has a boyfriend. Telling her you're attracted to her is disrespectful of the relationship she has with him. If she wanted to portray herself as being available in any way, she wouldn't mention him so much. Secondly, you're just breaking up, so any move you make toward her right now will be perceived as a rebound kind of thing. Again, disrespectful.

Timing is very important.

mistamontiel · #5 (**permalink**) 10-05-08, 07:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jinx343

coz you know, once a person is infatuated or in love, all those crazy wonderful and hopeful things go inside our head. we dont think straight. just that we have those wonderful feelings at the moment.

exactly right there is never an answer just hopes and dreams like he said in the movie Training Day we learn to hide our smiles and cries when you're hoping for something to happen but life is filled with factors nothing is written it just happens it's either good or bad...most of the time you just don't know what to do cuz you can contribute to the good or the bad, without knowing

no thinking straight for me haha...oh mama mia lord give me a sign!

smart · #6 (**permalink**) 10-05-08, 03:26 PM

Thank you all.
Now I have a nother question.

A couple of times she told me how her bf is telling her how big her arms are(upper part) and he even measured her arms and told her that in a couple of weeks she'll have bigger arms than he. But that is not true, she is skinny. On the other hand he brings her chocolate and icecream all most every day.
Is he crazy or what?
I would never say that to a girl.

jinx343 · #7 (**permalink**) 10-05-08, 03:36 PM

he is crazy. your partner should help you boost your self esteem. not diminish it to the smallest degree.

but she is even crazier if she doesn't like it but still puts up with that kind of boyfriend. unless it's what she wants to hear everyday just coz she wants to have a freebie ice cream and chocolate, then sure, fine, go ahead. it's her life anyway. let her live with it. lol

jinx343 · #8 (**permalink**) 10-05-08, 03:40 PM

no wonder she keeps talking about her bf to you... if that is what she keeps hearing from him. haha! you should have made that clear in your post earlier. i thought she's talking about her bf coz he's wonderful ( in the ice cream and chocolate area anyway. who doesnt want a freebie?)..

smart · #9 (**permalink**) 10-05-08, 04:15 PM

She also goes to the gym 3 times a week and he does not aprove that.
He is against working out.

And she is not muscular. I don't know what is wrong with her. Maybe its just that she is os in love that does not see the real him. They are together about a year or so.

Pears · #10 (**permalink**) 10-05-08, 04:23 PM

That's a strange relationship.

Maybe there's more to her boyfriend than she tells you.

jinx343 · #11 (**permalink**) 10-05-08, 04:23 PM

why dont you invite her in the forum? lol we'll try to talk some sense out of her.

but the bf i think should got to the nearest mental institution.

yeah love sometimes make us sooo blind that we try to ignore the bad side.

smart · #12 (**permalink**) 10-05-08, 04:29 PM

I wonder if they stay together what will happen in 10 years?
What else will he tell her, that she's fat or ugly?
I don't know.
It is sad besause she is relly sweet person.

jinx343 · #13 (**permalink**) 10-05-08, 04:39 PM

i dont even want to imagine them now.. why should i imagine them 10 years later???? id just make myself crazy.

well.. that's what happens to sweet girls (like me! lol

) they just give all their love even if they're not treated right and given what they deserve. sad but true. but im way over that stage now. i have learned to become a little bitchy. haha!

mistamontiel · #14 (**permalink**) 10-05-08, 07:53 PM

GIRL only a lil??? Break any fool's face who plays with your heart...I should've protected mine but I was far too weak :\ Life is full of phases

vashti · #15 (**permalink**) 10-05-08, 08:40 PM

Why don't you tell her that as soon as she gets rid of the boyfriend, you are going to ask her out on a date? This will plant the seed that you are interested without crossing any lines.

Sorry guys, but IMO it isn't over until there's a ring on that finger.