how to forget.. pls help!!!

[jinx343]

gurls...how to forget? pls help!!!

i am about to explode right now. i dont know what to do. i miss him so much and love him so but i told him the last time i talked to him that it was our last conversation ever. i know i got carried away with my emotions when i said that but i think it's the right way to let go...

but it's all too fresh. i dunno what to do. my work and my health has started to get affected. i want to put all my energy at work but i'm so bothered by my emotions i cudnt even concentrate. all i could think about is him and how i miss him so much and how much i wanna tell him i love him. pls help...

[sudalady]

In China, we always believe that the love wound can only be healed by the next love. You need fresh air, a brand new lover. So, go and search for a new boyfriend. Otherwise, you can't forget this one!

[javagirl87]

i've recentely been through this...spend lots of time crying and doing things you love (mine was listening to new music and music i love). it's OKAY to feel this way. it's normal and it's healthy for your emotions. i know it's affecting yoru work and health but it will pass...it may not go away for awhile but it'll stop affecting you're daily life as much.

i'm still going through heartache...and i still feel depressed...but it HAS stopped affecting my health and work. it will get better slowly...just remember you are not alone and you can message me whenever you want because i know how this is.

i recently told my ex i wasn't ready to talk yet even though he wants to be friends and i had to push him away because i know that talking to him will just make it worse. you made the right move for the time being.

it's OKAY to feel sad! just rememeber that.

[Down not Out]

And hey don't forget its not just you girls that feel like this, my marriage is heading the same way and I'm in a right mess at the moment, not eating don't want to participate in my hobbies and keep breaking down at the stupidist of things and I'm a bloke!

[lastwish]

It will get better in time. The choice to get into a relationship in the first place risks getting your heart broken. It's just the way it is, so you just have to get used to it.

See it as an experience and an opportunity for wisdom. The experience didn't cause you to lose anything. Instead you have gained wisdom and social experience from it. Put your experience into perspective and think about what you want in a guy and what things you can do better in future relationships.

[squirrley]

Ive been through this and it's so damn hard. You lose sight of reality. You cry, you sulk, youre not productive at work, you forget about the important things around you and you let yourself go. Although it's normal to feel the loss and go through those emotions, you have to find something somewhere to truly let go of it. It will effect every aspect of your life and eventually you could end up in some ER psyche ward. Trust me you don't want to go there. It's not worth it, HE'S not worth it. But your life is WORTH letting go. You can tell yourself a million times theres some excuse to call him just to see if the possiblity is still there, but it's not. You have to face the reality it's over and it's really over for a good reason. Eventually you will see it and then become pissed at yourself for sulking so long over it. You'll be fine. Just pull your boot straps up and think of yourself and your well being. Start focusing on your life and your future, not on him not on what you could've had, etc. But know in your heart and mind, you will survive, we all have...

[jinx343]

gurls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (down not out though you're a guy, thanks the same) thanks a lot for everything you've said. glad to hear all of them. it's not the end of the world yet.. so it seems. haha! lots of love to you all! goodluck to all of us!

[IndiReloaded]

Have you had a good cry yet? Privately, where noone can hear & then let it all out? Bawl until you give yourself a headache. Then have a good sleep, shower & do yourself up very nicely & go out for a walk and smile at people.

The trick w/heavy emotional things, I find, is to get out the strong emotion fully in a safe place. Then stop thinking about it. You may have to do this a few times if the stress was great, but over time, you'll need to do it less. DON'T let it build up so that you become obsessive thinking about it. Hope this helps.

[jinx343]

yeah indie... i've done that already.. i actually kinda had a delayed reaction. i guess it didnt sink in until later and i just got filled with different emotions and had to destress myself.

but i don't do that much anymore coz my sister got pissed off with me when she keeps seeing me like that. and anyway, by now, im feeling a little better.. i've started to move on. though i honestly still think about him and miss him still.

he still communicates with me, asking me how i am. and i guess it has helped me not to sulk for so long. i just have to move on. it's enough that i gone through it already.. enough of my stupidity

[jinx343]

Quote:

Originally Posted by IndiReloaded

DON'T let it build up so that you become obsessive thinking about it. Hope this helps.

yeah.. i realized that too.. thanks a lot indie.. it helped i dont want to end up getting insane so i just had to bounce back to reality. life is wonderful.. and i need to live it

[Illusional]

so what did i miss??

raverboy

[Lipp]

Heh, been there, done that, fortunately it wasn't a developed relationship or anything, but unfortunately I had a bit of a lapse in life during which nothing happened, few people were around and I had free time to just kill, bad combination.

In this case I'd advice you to swallow your pride about what you said and talk things through with the guy. Just make sure that you clarify exactly that you just what to meet up and talk about it, if you don't do that he'll either think you're just nudging him/bothering him.

And come to an agreement to talk and see what happens thereafter. If the two of you manage to solve your differences you can have a fresh start. If not, at least it'll give you a far more solid foundation to split off rather than leaving everything unsaid and never knowing who's fault it might have been.

[jinx343]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Illusional

so what did i miss??

raverboy

you didn't miss anything unless you missed me

[jinx343]

thanks LIPP... we're treating each other casually these days. i don't want to talk about it and go back in that situation and i know neither does he. maybe at the right time, we might be able to discuss things, but for now, i don't want to talk it over with him. we're just kinda testing the water now. he still sends me sms, leaves offline msg when im not online and he still keeps my picture in his display image. told him to change it but he said he doesnt want to. e-mailed him and i told him maybe at some point we could be friends but last night we talked, he didnt say much about it other than he said he understood my mail. huhummm.... i dont know what we are right now. but im not in the mood for anything. i just appreciate it when we get to communicate coz i dont miss and worry about him much.

[Gigabitch]

Cut contact with him completely- you know this, jinx. He's like a drug. You have to get off the needle, honey.