Should I engage with him now to be getting marriage?

[sandycch]

1.) I would like to introduce myself first.This year I gonna to be 20 years old while my ex-bf is gonna be 24.Last time I have been dating with my ex-bf for 1 years and 6 months.I did really love him so much..But then we have been apart for separation causes by our frequently argument has happen between us.

2.) After the separation...What I feel is sadness and bitterness of my feeling emotion when me in a relationships with my ex-bf.Then after the separation, I decide to focus in my working only.

3.) Within for a years we have been in a relationship with my ex-bf.We both are still a virgin because we did not try to having any love making.I am the one who always rejected him of doing such sex inter-course before we are really getting marriage when he really needs...

4.) Cause of this sensitive topic of sexuality matter issue has turn us up to be our arguement topic always.When we have choose to be separated this issue has been settle down and calms.After we have been split and never contact each other for 9 months...

5.) After the time has passed for 9 months...My ex-bf has make the first move to start contacting with me again.When I receive my ex-bf called, I feel abit cherish and regretting what we have did for last year ago for separating we two.

6.) When we meet back,I just treat him as normal friend only.According to my instict I feel he wanna turn up together with me to be in a relationship again...After that, we both have been coming out together for having dinner,chat and having a tea-time together frequently.

7.) He got show me some in-direct spoken word and meaning about will we try to be together back in a relationship as last time?Then...I have a think over and over.My respond is agree to accepted him back to be together.Then when we are back to be together in a relationship.He told me that after last time he has separate with me.He got find a new gf to try to observe a new relationship starting with his new gf but at last is failed he say.

8.) He told me that he has been staying with her new gf for a months and having the human life needs activity.Then he told me that he is not a virgin anymore.When I hear that my really feel pain,sorrow and sad...Cause I thought he would love me more and never try to simply find a new gf...

9.) After 1 months and 9 days we have been in a relationships...Something an unexpected has happen between us...I did love him.We are loving each other.Then I and him has happen inter-course love making in an unexpected day night.I have given my virgin toward him already...

10.) I feel fear...I don't know what to do and how should I do..?but I did really love him.After the incident...I have try to discuss with my parent...When they heard about it...They suggest me to marry to him right right now and cannot be delay anymore...I'm really indecisive right now...I duno how to speak to my ex-bf about our planning of our marriage...But I hope he will took a right responsible as a guy on me...Anyone please give me some advice how I gonna have an engagement with him to getting marriage right now..?

[PussyCatDoll]

if you broke up he didn't have to keep his virginity for you.

don't marry this guy. he doesn't sound good.

[Gigabitch]

I agree that you should not marry him. It sounds like your parents think you're "ruined" now because you're not a virgin any more, and I disagree.

I don't know if your culture will support going against them, though. I really feel for you- you're in a tough situation.

What do you think would happen if you decided not to marry him?

[vashti]

What is the consequence of not listening to your parents in Malaysia?

[jinx343]

lol.. vash you're right about that. obviously, it's not spanking

sandy, you should have thought about the consequences BEFORE you did the deed. not AFTER. i am sure you very well know how your parents or your culture view such acts so you should have foreseen what was to happen after you gave up your virginity and told your parents about it.

i guess your family is conservative (as mostly asian families are) judging with the way they reacted. but still, i think the decision is with you and your guy. is he even ready or willing to go through it? seems like he doenst even know about it yet. what about you? are you also ready or do you think it's right for you to get married just because your parents are saying so?

[vashti]

I wasn't actually reprimanding the original poster. Mine was a genuine question. In many Muslim-majority countries, the consequences for people involved in this sort of situation could be catastrophic. I'm not sure how it is in Malaysia specifically.

[jinx343]

i know ur not reprimanding her and that you were serious.. i just wanted to make light of things.

it obviously is like here in the philippines.. if you get in a sexual situation with your bf and you tell your parents about it, you are expected or sometimes forced to marry each other to avoid disgrace for the family. it's an old tradition. but somehow, here, it's not so strict and uptight anymore... but usually that happens in asian countries... it's what they call, "shotgun marriage".

[sandycch]

By the way...I have try to discuss with him already.But he suggest me that we date for another 2 or 2 and a half year only will marry me.He say he will take responsibility.He will have a think first.At the same time...He did not have enough money to support for our marriage right now...For asia country tradition...The girl who have give up the virginity to her beloved one.The guy of the girl partner have to take a resposibility to take care the girl in the future...But now my parent feel I am ruined already.My parent dislike to delay our long terms relationship.My parent advice us better to get ready up for our marriage...