The old "Needs Time"

[Bennyzilla]

is the old "i need time" a red flag that its over? My gf and i have been going out for 4 months and it was great and then the other day when i asked if she wanted to hang on fri she said she would be too busy to see me till tuesday....so for the past two days i havent seen her at all and out txting and phonecalls have been limited to goodmornings and goodnights, other than that she wont respond to me at all...what she did say was she was confused and needed time. Im not the same stupid kid who posted on here years ago now years of failed relationships have given me the sixth sense of "its over". and I'm getting that here...so should i wait her 5 days and saee whats up? or should i take the initiative and just end it so i can stop worrying. to clarify though, if there was a way to save our relationship i would want to.

Also hi to everyone here...i feel like i only show up with sob stories and then disappear for months at a time.

[mtinlove]

after 4 months and saying she needs time...i dont know.... how SERIOUS were you for the past 4 months anyways? I know me and my boyfriend were "seeing" each other for a month or two and during that time I told him I need my space and need to take things slow, but then I decided thats not what I needed and little over a year later im glad I made that decision.... BUT if you two have been pretty serious for the past 4 months i would worry....

[Cain]

How serious can you really be after only four months?

[mtinlove]

Well I think it depends on the people. I know people get married after a few months....

[Cain]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mtinlove

Well I think it depends on the people. I know people get married after a few months....

And most of the time those are the same people that get divorced a year later.

[mtinlove]

yea but not all the time cain. not everybody is like everybody else. I think you forget this sometimes when you post.

[Cain]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mtinlove

yea but not all the time cain. not everybody is like everybody else. I think you forget this sometimes when you post.

Regardless of whether everyone gets divorced or not, the higher divorce rate in this age range is because the people didn't truly know each other when they got married. You can't know everything about your partner in a few months. And even if everything went well 4 months before the marriage, living together with a person is a whole new ball game.

[Gigabitch]

I agree that it sounds bad, Benny. You may be back on the road to single-hood, yet again.

[mtinlove]

Cain its young age groups that get divorced more frequently. But the length of time of a relationship before moving in together, getting married, etc does not necessarily determine divorce rate.

[Cain]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mtinlove

Cain its young age groups that get divorced more frequently. But the length of time of a relationship before moving in together, getting married, etc does not necessarily determine divorce rate.

Whatever. To think you know someone enough to say that you want to spend the rest of your life with them in only a couple months is nonsense.

[mtinlove]

well that can be far yes but what I was asking is just how serious are they...like do they spend all day everyday together with or without friends or are they seeing each other a day or two out of the week. Thats what I was asking. Because if they were only seeing each other a couple times a week then it makes a difference than if they were spending all their time together. I also dont recall the OP saying he was in love with her and she was the woman he wants to be with forever.....