Friend to Boyfriend - Love Forum

XPRabbit · #1 (**permalink**) 21-08-08, 12:27 AM

I have noticed that i fall easily for my female friends, even if it's not in the idea of dating, I just seem to like to love. but the question at hand is: Does becoming a close/best friend with someone weaken or even kill your chances of dating them?

Most of my best friends are female, I seem to find more in common with females then i do males. but I was told by on of my male friends that I am killing my chances of dating any of my female friends because I'm so open to them.

when i asked him to explain his reasoning: "You're completely open with your friends, and you show you care, but the level of your commitment toward your lady friends make some boyfriends look bad. in essence they don't need to date you to get your attention, and your not exactly a looker."

^.^ i know my looks have played against me but that aside is there ground to which he stands?

Jbleezyj · #2 (**permalink**) 21-08-08, 04:14 AM

I have become lovers with one of my best friends. Although there is some truth to what your friend says. If you have many female friends and are open with a lot of them then what makes one of the female friends more special then the other? If all your friends that are girls are treated the same by you then they will just think that's just how you are and have no interest in them.

You need to make the girl you are going for feel more important than all the other girls. It's cool to be open with these girls but don't be too open. You need some mystery about you. You want them to be interested. How can they be so if there is no more surprises for them?

(yeh I know its ask a female but I used to be in the same boat as you)

XPRabbit · #3 (**permalink**) 21-08-08, 04:35 AM

^.^ well the girls i would be willing to date know i would be willing too, lol they all told me no for one reason or another... but yeah i see where you are right...

Jbleezyj · #4 (**permalink**) 21-08-08, 04:42 AM

You could just be an NG. A nice guy. LOL. This is how I feel sometimes. =(

YouTube - Just A Nice Guy - Part 1 - Wong Fu...

YouTube - Just A Nice Guy - Part 2 - Wong Fu...

YouTube - Just A Nice Guy - Part 3 - Wong Fu...

XPRabbit · #5 (**permalink**) 21-08-08, 04:49 AM

yay something to watch at work... lol and I pretty much know I'm the nice guy. ^.^ well one of them said that I'm her stereotype Gay best friend... lol and i may be flamboyant but yeah you get the gist. (not gay but not potential BF)

XPRabbit · #6 (**permalink**) 21-08-08, 06:12 AM

Well... i think i have had a couple stories like that... lol but when i told them i liked them it didn't work out... ^.^ but it's so true...

Jbleezyj · #7 (**permalink**) 21-08-08, 06:34 AM

yehh. Love is a numbers game though. The more you try the higher your chances are of finding it. That's the lesson that I learned.

XPRabbit · #8 (**permalink**) 21-08-08, 06:42 AM

^.^ yeah... you're totally right...

Yacker · #9 (**permalink**) 21-08-08, 10:27 AM

You are flamboyant? That doesn't seem like a quality girls would go for...I think you need to stop expressing yourself so much to girls and get a few more guy friends. I have a friend like you and all the girls love him but he doesn't go anywhere with them.

XPRabbit · #10 (**permalink**) 21-08-08, 12:21 PM

yeah because i am flamboyant i think i fit easily into the "BFF" catagory... lol and i have a few guy friends... i really aim for all friends.

michzel creativ · #11 (**permalink**) 22-08-08, 09:45 AM

I think there are some people who can form friendships with the opposite sex and have it remain a friendship and nothing more.
For me, I don't like that my bf is my best friend...

XPRabbit · #12 (**permalink**) 22-08-08, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by michzel creativ

I think there are some people who can form friendships with the opposite sex and have it remain a friendship and nothing more.
For me, I don't like that my bf is my best friend...

one of my close female friends told me that i was her best friend where as her Husband isn't really a friend. if they were to get devorced they wouldn't hang out or anything because they don't share the same interests or anything... caught me off guard once. i am a firm believer that you can be friends with the opposed sex without anything more, lol I am friends with my female friends and only 2 of them i would even consider anything more. where my question lies is the fact that one of my friends told me that becoming friends with a girl makes it really difficult for them to see you as a potential BF, even if you tell them you like them... now i have never been in a relationship beyond friendship but i was kind of under the impression that there should be some friendship there.... lol i could be naive but I'm uneducated. the worst part or it all is the fact that i do desire to be in a relationship but i don't desire to risk anything... date a stranger and risk a bad clash of personalities or date a friend and risk your friendship... lol i'm too passive, i want more in life but my laid back nature makes it to where risks seems easily avoided.

XPRabbit · #13 (**permalink**) 22-08-08, 02:01 PM

^.^ and i really am laid back even about this... it's hard to see when i type in forums because i like to over examine things (it's great for learning) this isn't bothering me that much, it can get me at times but mostly I'm looking for outside opinions because i love knowing what people have to say, and i really am lacking in this knowledge.

michzel creativ · #14 (**permalink**) 22-08-08, 02:54 PM

OK, so what is really your problem? You cant say to the girl that you like her, because of so and so... You have so many bad thought where in its not true, nothing is going to loose when trying at least your honest.

Kromat · #15 (**permalink**) 22-08-08, 02:56 PM

If your ready to make the transition, I say just go for it,
you never know how it'll turn out for both sides.

It takes some guts to truly express how you feel about the opposite
sex without showing that all you want to be is a friend.