Is the term "Cougar" degrading? - Love Forum

starbuck · #1 (**permalink**) 12-09-08, 08:39 PM

This question is for the ladies. I saw this article on TMZ.com. A site I don't normal visit since it's tabloid pablum, but I was driven to TMZ by another site that posted this. Three women are suing G4 over being branded as Cougars. Is it that much of a slur? I personally don't find it all that offensive.

"The Great Cougar Hunt Lawsuit -- MUST READ!!!!
Posted Sep 10th 2008 8:59AM by TMZ Staff

This is the greatest lawsuit we've seen all month -- maybe all year -- and it's all over three chicks who are pissed at being branded "cougars" on national television.

Let's start with the important information. For those unfamiliar with the term "cougar," it's defined as "a sexually cunning 35+ female who is on the hunt for a much younger energetic male," at least according to the lawsuit.

Now onto the controversy: Three women are furious after they went to a club called Chapter 8 in Agoura Hills -- SoCal -- back in 2007 and wound up being featured on a G4 program called "Attack of the Show" -- in a segment called "The Great Cougar Hunt." According to the suit, the ladies were portrayed as "older women who were attempting to pick up younger men at Chapter Eight, which was described (on the show) as a 'world famous cougar hot spot.' The segment describes cougars as the easiest and most ravenous prey for younger men."

The cougars three respectable ladies claim they were filmed without giving consent, and swear they "were not attempting to meet or 'hunt' younger men, or any men for that matter, on the day the video segment was made." They also thought it was important to put this line in the lawsuit: "In fact, Plaintiffs do not date younger men at all." The threesome claims the show was so "highly outrageous and offensive," that they're suing G4 and the two hosts of the show for more than $1,000,000!!!!! FYI -- nowhere in the lawsuit do the ladies ever mention how old they are -- information that could be vital to the outcome of this highly important, extremely monumental legal battle. Calls to G4 were not returned.

The moral of the story: You mess with the cougar ... you get the claws!"

Asparagoose · #2 (**permalink**) 12-09-08, 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by starbuck

Let's start with the important information. For those unfamiliar with the term "cougar," it's defined as "a sexually cunning 35+ female who is on the hunt for a much younger energetic male," at least according to the lawsuit.

That sounds like a very conveniently narrow definition. The language makes it sound like it's pejorative, highlighting age in a negative way and placing false emphasis on the sexual aggressive nature of the word.

A cougar doesn't have to be someone who is older. It can be someone in their 20s. It's usually someone who is older, because by that time a woman is more sexually mature. A 35+ woman might not have the body of an 18 year old, but she's overcome many of her body image, insecurity and self esteem issues. This gives her the real confidence, not that act she used to put on before, to pursue men she feels attracted to. She's no longer insecure or suffering from low self esteem, so she's not sitting there and waiting for a man to make the first move and make her feel desired or wanted. She knows she's hot and sexy, she knows what she wants and she's not afraid or inhibited from getting it.

Some guys are confident enough to be able to handle it and find it sexy. Some guys feel intimidated and even threatened, hence the term. I think it's sexy, but I know that I would most likely not be able to handle it if a woman was that sexually aggressive with me. Being called that is a huge compliment, not something you start a lawsuit over. That's like suing someone for calling you mature because the word refers to people 35+ and so on. People need to learn how to take a compliment and stop looking for ways to make an easy buck in court.

shh! · #3 (**permalink**) 12-09-08, 11:19 PM

I think I'd be embarrassed if such an article was written about me. It makes the women sound very sexually aggressive, which equates with trampiness and/or desperation in our culture, whether or not it's fair. Some things never change.

Gribble · #4 (**permalink**) 12-09-08, 11:36 PM

A cougar is a woman who picks up young guys because young guys will **** anything. I don't like that term, myself. I would totally love to bang an older woman, but I want a decent older woman. Not one who resorts to trampy clothes and easy lays.

ecojeanne · #5 (**permalink**) 13-09-08, 12:05 AM

haha thats so funny i've never heard of that term the cougar...i guess women over the age of 30 are in their prime and turned on constantly...it makes sense to get with younger men....they can handle the pressure hehe

#6 (**permalink**) 13-09-08, 02:30 AM

Like with ANY word, cougar can be degrading, too. It's not the word itself, but the context to which it is used, and the meaning implied behind it.

Come on Starbucks, you should know that.

Only-virgins · #7 (**permalink**) 13-09-08, 03:14 AM

First time I hear this term.

NeoSeminole · #8 (**permalink**) 13-09-08, 08:00 AM

this is stupid. No, the term "cougar" is not degrading. It's a compliment for an older woman to be considered attractive and desirable by younger men. Females can be so dumb sometimes.

Cain · #9 (**permalink**) 13-09-08, 08:08 AM

Neo, I have this stupid body fat caliper called FatTrack II... I haven't used it yet and can't find the little book. I'm trying to measure my body fat but I don't know how I'm supposed to do it. I know the three sites, but not sure what else. I'm supposed to pinch the fat and then press the caliper and press the blue button but I don't know if it's supposed to be JUST touching or if it's supposed to be really tight or what.

shh! · #10 (**permalink**) 13-09-08, 08:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeoSeminole

this is stupid. No, the term "cougar" is not degrading. It's a compliment for an older woman to be considered attractive and desirable by younger men. Females can be so dumb sometimes.

Don't you get it? If the woman is the "cougar", then the young guys are the "prey". This doesn't have anything at all to do with how young men feel about being the prey - it has to do with women being the sexual aggressor against a weaker force.

starbuck · #11 (**permalink**) 13-09-08, 09:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeoSeminole

this is stupid. No, the term "cougar" is not degrading. It's a compliment for an older woman to be considered attractive and desirable by younger men. Females can be so dumb sometimes.

I guess the three women suing G4 felt it was degrading enough to initiate a lawsuit.

I'm not sure how I feel about it myself. Yes, cougars are predatory, but they're also beautiful, strong, majestic animals. I suppose it depends on the context for the most part. I didn't see the G4 show, but it sounds like it was ridiculing these women.

Asparagoose, I don't think anyone ever really uses the term to refer to twenty-somethings. It's almost always used to refer to women in their thirties and up.

#12 (**permalink**) 13-09-08, 09:09 AM

I'm never ever calling a woman a cougar ever again. Ever.

Starbuck, you're not a cougar, I take back every time I ever called you that. Please don't sue me!

Asparagoose · #13 (**permalink**) 13-09-08, 09:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by starbuck

Asparagoose, I don't think anyone ever really uses the term to refer to twenty-somethings. It's almost always used to refer to women in their thirties and up.

starbuck, you're from Brooklyn! I'm sure you've heard it used on women younger than age 30 here in New York. It's like Neo said, it's a compliment. It shows true confidence and sexual maturity. It just so happens that this is something you're more likely to have as you get older. That's why you've probably heard more older women being called that.

Women need to identify themselves as feminine and girly. They want to feel chased and pursued. If they are the ones doing the chasing, they feel inferior, desperate and weaker for expressing more interest in a guy than he is expressing in her. They need to feel desired and wanted. Their self esteem is still very fragile. It also makes them feel like they're taking on the role of a man, and it makes them feel less feminine. So nearly all younger women just sit there and wait to be pursued, even if it means not getting the guy they want. Their self esteem is more important.

But I do agree. It's mostly older women who once they reach a certain age and look at their body in the mirror, start to go through a period of questioning themselves. Eventually, they accept that they're not perfect, not the same way they used to look, but they still feel sexy. Ironically, this is the best cure for any body image or insecurity issues she may have had. As they come to accept this, they notice themselves becoming more confident. They see a guy they find cute or hot, and go over to talk to him. They are the hunters, and they're so comfortable with themselves and their sexuality that they're not bothered by it.

Like I said. Some guys find it sexy. I find the confidence part of it sexy, but an older woman who is too sexually aggressive is personally not my cup of tea. It would make me feel like I'm getting raped or pressured into having sex.

starbuck · #14 (**permalink**) 13-09-08, 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anachronistic

I'm never ever calling a woman a cougar ever again. Ever.

Starbuck, you're not a cougar, I take back every time I ever called you that. Please don't sue me!

Oh please. I think it's funny when you do. I'm so NOT cougarish though. I never go "on the prowl" for men, and when I talk to people, it's usually just being friendly cause I'm not comfortable making the first move.

Maybe I'm missing something though. Maybe I should embrace the cougar lifestyle and collect a harem of twentysomething Justin Timberlake lookalikes. They could cook for me and look up cheats for my favorite video games. One for every night of the week. I could dig it.

Asparagoose · #15 (**permalink**) 13-09-08, 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by starbuck

Maybe I'm missing something though. Maybe I should embrace the cougar lifestyle and collect a harem of twentysomething Justin Timberlake lookalikes. They could cook for me and look up cheats for my favorite video games. One for every night of the week. I could dig it.

Oh my god! You're a gamer! Marry me! I'll be the first one on your list.