why is she acting like this?

[Kawaisou]

Hello all, I have a question for the females that has left me unsure and somewhat upset over the past week. Here it is.

I have a girlfriend I have dated for almost 2 years now. I love her very much and she loves me very much. We had our share of fights and a bad break up, but have reconciled our differences and our happier than ever.

Well recently I had to leave her for a period of 2 months to attend to my old grandmother back in the United States (We live in Japan, she is Japanese and I am American). This is where the problem begins.

We have been through a seperation before like this, but this time it feels different. When I talk to her it seems as if she does not miss me as much as I miss her. She now occupies much of her free time online talking to other guys on webcam through a site called stickam. I asked her why she is doing this and she said that they are just friends, not her type and she has no interest in them as ever being anything to her.

Now she talks to other American guys which is what she likes who live in America. I know it sounds stupid to be jealous over something like this but when we broke up for a period of three months, she dated a guy online through this site and luckily it never amounted to anything and we got back together, but it still upsets me.

She insists that she does not like them, they are just her friends and that she just likes talking with them in her free time. I on the other hand agreed not wanting to cause a problem but am very much bothered by this.

On her Stickam profile and myspace there is no referance of me as her boyfriend...and I feel like she is using the internet a source to have fun free flirting. It makes me feel like shit because everyday I think of her and miss her so much...and I feel like she is not returning the same feelings...

I know we will make it through the summer, but I really hate her internet addiction and I know it wont end with the summer, so I ask...why does she do this when she has me? Why does she need to talk to these random online guys all the time?

I know I am not a perfect boyfriend and have had my share of pissing her off when I have hung out with other girls that are just my friends, but I want to understand as I love her very much.

Any advice, or clarifications are welcome.

Thanks guys.

[Spring Haze]

She is obviously a cam-whore who basks in the attention of complimentary males.

Now does this mean she's cheating? I highly doubt it. It just means she needs attention. Maybe it's because you're not there, maybe it's just her nature to seek out males willing to engage her.

[DelicateRose88]

Sounds like a lot of bad news to me, honestly. I am just as confused as you with her behavior, if she is an internet addict then why not spend time on the webcam talking to, oh I don't know, you? It's very possible these guys really are just friends but I have to admit from the times I used the webcam, if I was using it the person I was talking to was a little and sometimes a lot more than just my "friend." Do I think she's cheating, nah, probably not. But, is her behavior fishy? Hell yes. I think you should express your concern to her and ask her to put herself in your shoes, have the roles reversed. I'm sure she would not like it if she knew you were webcam chatting with other girls you were just "friends" with. I think she's being unreasonable.

[DerekColors]

Its simple. Shes just not that into to you. If I was with someone. And I did that..It would be because I'm lonely or I need someone else. Guys on web cams are friends? Don't buy that croc. If its all guys and no girls then you know for sure its something more.

And you don't know. Maybe shes showing herself off to these guys on the webcam.

[honeyb]

She's bored and has already checked out of the relationship.Not sure why she hasn't broke it of, maybe she can't bring herself to break it off or it could be a money thing:-(. Not what you wanna hear I know,but she's giving all her attention and time to guys online when she could be giving it to you. Need I say more.

[Kawaisou]

I appreciate the responses, but I am not sure I have found the answer yet.

You see she only does this when I am away. When we broke up she did this, and when I am away now for two months she is doing this. The guys she talks to live thousands of miles away, and no they are not all just guys. She webcams with girls too.

I always tend to think the worst too, but she has been talking about plans to move in with me soon, so surely she isnt done with me? As far as money goes, well I am one poor college kid so I dont have shit in that department.

We are celebrating our two year anniversary when I get home on Aug. 15th, she is not just some worhtless fling, and I am not that to her I know.

I am still puzzled but I dont think it is quite as bad as you guys think? Maybe im just retarted. lol

[Bumble_bee]

if it ain't that bad you would not be postin' right?

she might just like chatting, if she only does it when your away, maybe she is lonely, likes attention, who knows...get worried when even with your physical presence she is at it.

[Kawaisou]

Yeah I am not too worried I was just curious and wanted the girls point of view.

I think it is a combination of her liking the attention because unfortunatly she has a really low self esteem and it helps her I suppose? You know how online guys are. Horny bastards. lol

I also think it is kinda to get back at me because I have a lot of friends that are girls and she hates them, so possibly it is her pay back because she knows it irritates me.

She has done it since day one of our relationship but it is worse when I am away. I figure as long as she isnt doing sex cam shows or meeting these guys for real it should be alright.

It has also inspired me to get back in shape too, so if she is kinda bored with my belly flab that will change real soon

Thanks for the input all of you. Made me feel much better to hear some women's opinions.

jyaaa sore de wa,

Kawaisou

[makesaw]

I thing she not love you anymore thats way she....................

[Henry123]

(Yes I know the post was directed at females)

She tired of those time you are not there. She no longer tolerates that.
She is finding that theres a bigger world out there. New people to meet new places to go.

[icelady1983]

She is attention seeking because she is missing you and feeling lonely and does not feel that she is seeking enough attention from you. She wants an ego boost and not to feel alone. I think she is being honest when she says that she is not cheating.

The best thing that you can do is give her as much attention as you can while away. Message her a couple of times/email her a couple of times a day and call her once a day and just have a chat about your days etc. Let her know you are thinking about her and missing her and stress how much you love and care about her.

If you are meant to be and love and care about each other like you say that you do then you will be able to get through this time. Just make sure she knows what she means to you and let her know even though you are on the other side of the world that you do care about her and are there for her.

Also plan a weekend away for the both of you for when you get back, let her know about this and this will give her something to look forward too, she will know that you do love and care about her and that you are looking forward to having some special time alone with her.

[HotAlphaFemale]

I think the best thing to do is to communicate with her and see where she is at and be ok with the outcome no matter what it is.

If she senses your insecurity and neediness all the time, then this is definitely going to drive her in the opposite direction regardless of how long you guys have been going out.

But if you are asking for an opinion of where she is at. I would say she is probably looking around and seeing what is out there, while still stringing you along because she is unsure.

[Illusional]

whoa.. this is off the subject, but what site does she visit?

raverboy

[Yggdrasil]

why does she do this when she has me? Why does she need to talk to these random online guys all the time?

Because she's not getting the emotional satisfaction she requires from you. So she's getting it from somewhere else. Get it?

[Illusional]

i didn't want to put it so blunty because i'm a nice guy.

raverboy