Who's the problem one here?

[TheBlackFlux]

So, lately, we've been having a bad month with my g/f...

I'm being jealous, however, I believe I'm not possessive. She is simply spending time with this guy, it's like she's with him more often, than with me. It's been a long-term issue, tbh, but I guess my trust is depleting now.

I often am in a bad mood with her, when she says she was by him, to which she reacts hurt, that she only loves me and she'd gladly spend all her time with me, but she needs to find time for her friends. Yet, all the time, her friends seem to boil down to this person. I'm no way wanting her to stop her life outside our relationship, but this situation is upsetting me.

All the time I get my small victories over myself, asking stuff about the guy (I don't even know him in person), asking her, whether she had a good time, etc. (all in a friendly manner), then everything goes kind of ok - until she spend half of the week with this dude again and all my nerves are bleeding, she's going out with me like 2 times in a week. When I tell her all this, she says, that she is spending all her spare time with me, but she has to also go out with some friends... (here we go again).

She says we have to have our own time with friends so that our relationship works and isn't monotonous. On the contrary to this, to me it seems we're having this jealousy cycle repeating all over. I'd love to spend enough time with her, that we'd both feel the urge to separate for a while, yet that didn't happen for me for 2 or more months. It's true, that we had some rough times in school/college, but that little spare time she had was also split like this.

She acts, as if I was irrational, not understanding her, not getting what she feels for me. She's the one hurt and I'm the one always bringing up problems. She always seemed honest to me, but now I just don't know, if I am being a doormat, or insecure jerk.

[Yggdrasil]

So why don't you get yourself a nice female friend which you hang out with 3 days a week and see how she reacts?

What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

[TheBlackFlux]

Yeah, I thought about showing her the same treatment, but that seemed too immature to me. Tbh I've hung out with one chick for 3 times and she seemed to be getting nervous, but I didn't finish the work. My problem there was, that I've only wanted to be with her together, I'm not interested in anybody else. But now that's she's seriously bugging me with this, I'll probably consider getting some girl like you adviced.

I'm afraid, that she might get sad and rationalize to herself, that we've both lost interest. I don't want that, although what I'm getting from the relationship last month isn't worth much.

Thanks for replies as always

[Yggdrasil]

Yeah, I thought about showing her the same treatment, but that seemed too immature to me. Tbh I've hung out with one chick for 3 times and she seemed to be getting nervous, but I didn't finish the work. My problem there was, that I've only wanted to be with her together, I'm not interested in anybody else. But now that's she's seriously bugging me with this, I'll probably consider getting some girl like you adviced.

I'm afraid, that she might get sad and rationalize to herself, that we've both lost interest. I don't want that, although what I'm getting from the relationship last month isn't worth much.

Thanks for replies as always

My my.. why would she get nervous? You're only friends with the other gall.. remember? Just like she is only friends with the other guy....

So I guess, it's ok if she does it, but it's not so ok if you do it.

Double standards?????

I dunno buddie but I know what I would tell her.

[kjb]

And she wont ever invite you along when she hangs out with her "friend"? Hmm...something smells a little fishy to me.

[Gigabitch]

This is not committed girlfriend behavior.