Is she right??

[Pankaj Sharma]

hi frds i'm 24 yrs old guy in love with a girl, 23 yrs old . we were in a relation for 4 months but due to some problem she decided to broke up. i'll try to clarify the exact situation or picture to u all which forced her to took that step and ask u all whether the decision took by her was the fair or right one?

We had a gr8 time together. we both enjoyed eachother's company a lot. she used to say that i'm the best option she could ever get and same i feel for her.. she felt herself lucky as she found me.

as we both are sharmas so we were quite confident that our relation would certainly give a happy outcome. everything was fine.. we both r sharmas. we both are well settled and independent ones.. we both had different gothras (required for marriage in hindu caste)

But the only thing which is ultimately resulted in a break up is that i'm a manglik while she is not. i told her at the beggining days of our relationship that i'm a manglik, so think b4 u get urself involved in this relation. she daringly said that she had no problem at all.. she would solve this problem and ready to take risk. that made me happy and relaxed.

but suddenly after 3 months she started behaving unpredictably.. after a 2 weeks full of tension and arguing she said that she had a talk with her sister and mother abt this issue. she said me that they are against this relation as i'm a manglik. so she asked for my opinion. i said that as u told me abt this earlier that it would be ok for you so why r u thinking on this now. after having 2 more weeks full of confusions and arguements we met and she decided to broke up. at that time i respected her decision and came back in my room coz i had already tried a lot to save this relation and change her mind b4 the break up..

As i'm an atheist and she is a theist.. she believes in astrology thus felt insecurity abt her life after her marriage. according to her she would die if we marry eachother. i tried a lot to explain about all this non-sense stuff and convince her abt my view but i lost it in the end. now she wants to have just frdshp with me. i tried that i would not call or contact her but i couldn't make that happen. coz i'm finding it difficult to forget her and the days that we spent together. i'm not finding any feeling of regression on her face.

she still says that i was the best option for her. she admits that she did mistake by having a promise with me earlier on this issue(manglik) but she also says that she has taken the right decision by breaking up.


==>Now please friends tell me is it fair enough to break this type of relation where both persons are in love deeply and think that they have found they dream partner just because of kudli matching.(infact our 30 gunas had matched with eachother out of 36)

==>do you think that the excuse given by her was enough to break this relation. she doesn't have her father and she doesn't want to go a single step againt her mother's will. i'm still trying to get her back. wht should i do?

==>wht should she do?

as i''ll mail this question's answers to her so u can give ur views/suggestion/advice to her. plz help me to solve this problem. i'm finding it difficult to come out of it. guys try to put urself on my place and girls reply as wht would u have done if u were at her place.

its a serious matter..

HELP.. Thanks.. waiting for ur replies....

[bluesummer]

Hm, well Pankaj, I can tell you this sounds very complicated. I am not Hindu myself, but my former boyfriend was from India so I know a lot about caste issues and astrolgy based stuff as it pertains to relationships.

Some people find these things very important in determining their partner, so much so that it doesn't matter how much they love you, they are afraid to go against the will of fate or God, for fear they will punished somehow in love. Being that she is not an atheist and you are means that you will have some very different views on these things, as will her family. I don't think she will change her mind, especially if her family is not supportive of the relationship.

I understand you love her, but you need to face reality. She is not going to defy her beliefs and her family. I don't think you should ask her to, either. You may consider these things 'silly', but obviously they are important to her and you should respect that. She shouldn'y have told you it wouldn't have been a problem, it's true, but maybe she just didn't ewant to face reality at that time.

My friend, there are a million girls out there, and one who will want to be with you no matter what. I suggest you let this girl go peacefully, and do not make a drama.

[CherriBlossomGirl]

This is a bit of a difficult situation. I don't know much of anything about the Hindu religion, but I tend to be very open minded about all religions. I myself am agnostic, and am very skeptical about choosing a religion.

Obviously, your partner was not comfortable with being together because of certain aspects of her religion. This may seem completely unfair, but she is standing by her beliefs. Religion is a HUGE part of the human mind. It dictates choices you make and things you do in your life.

I know it's hard, but you should try to respect her decision. I once fell for a friend of mine. He was hardcore Mormon. We got along great, but we decided not to get into a relationship because we knew we'd fight and then we wouldn't be friends anymore. He would've wanted me to attend church, and if we got married, he'd want to get married in a temple. He'd want to have lots of kids, I don't.

She was really wrong to tell you beforehand that she didn't mind about your being manglik. She should've thought really hard about it before you had both fallen in love. Now it just creates more emotional pain.

There are plenty of other fish in the sea. Try to find someone with similar beliefs. Although this is most definitely NOT a requirement, it tends to make a relationship a little easier.

Good Luck!

[blacksun]

Thats pretty f-ed up dude. Im all for making relationships work, but for her to dump you cause of superstitious bullshit means that shes probably not the one for you. Just imagine how it will be like a year down the line, when this stuff keeps coming back up and she keeps doing things based on superstition. As an athist you are probably a very logical and pragmatic person, so I expect that over time that will probably start to piss you off till no end till you ended up dumping her any way. So let her be and find someone else.

[Illusional]

magliks, sharmas... wtf. as i read on and read, i sat and thought to myself, and i the only one that doesn't know what the hell he is talking about?? or is he just talking about nonsense in this fairytale land.. BUT the caste system. alright now, i got it. hrmm... i think that situation isn't so much as what the girl should do, but YOU. it's YOUR life it's not hers. remember that what she does will affect you, but it's how you react to it that will ultimately satisfy or bring you discomfort. what do YOU really want out of this..?? to be with her correct?? well then you're gonna have to convince her that you are the right one for her. sadly but it's life, she may choose to go against your wishes and not be with you, but suck it up. i can only tell you that just to be prepared.

raverboy

[NeoSeminole]

no, girls are never right.

[Frasbee]

Whack-job! Run awaaaaay!