What does he want? - Love Forum

confused0815 · #1 (**permalink**) 21-04-08, 11:21 AM

Alright so I'm new on this thing and I was hoping I could get some help from some guys.

So I'm in a situation that I'm sure a lot of other girls are in too, but I'm trying to find out if this guy likes me. He sends me so many mixed signals it's ridiculous.

So he's a guy that's in my group of friends, but we just recently became close friends this year. He calls me on a regular basis to hang out, alone or with a bunch of people. And when we hang out alone he'll like tease me and sit close beside me and stuff like that. When we're in groups, like at a movie, he'll always find a way to sit beside me. Sometimes when were at a friends house he'll like sit on my lap as a joke or rest his feet on my lap. And he's always looking out for me. Like at a club if a guy comes and dances with me, he'll pull me away or tell the guy that I have a boyfriend.Or at a house party he'll sometimes stick close by me, or he'll do the opposite and not talk to me the whole night but talk to all my friends. So that's the start of my confusion...

and... recently hes been kinda flirting with one of my girlfriends, but when I ask him about it later he says he doesnt like her at all. So i'm wondering if hes just leading me on too? And finally...the big slap in the face is that recently hes been talking about a girl he likes in one of his classes. He still flirts with me... but then he'll randomly bring this girl up and ask me for advice! So what the heck does he want?! does it seem like he likes me? just leading me on? or am I completely over-thinking everything and he doesnt like me at all?

Hope you guys can help!

Nice Lover Boy · #2 (**permalink**) 23-04-08, 02:20 PM

Well this guys sounds like he is showing interest in you...but how much interest are you giving back?
I'm guessing that if your not showing much interest back, his thinking to move on to the next one, unless his shy and doesn't know how to ask you. But if he is asking for advise, he might want to see your reaction...???

littlewing · #3 (**permalink**) 23-04-08, 02:36 PM

Do you like him?

confused0815 · #4 (**permalink**) 23-04-08, 03:07 PM

Yea I deffinitely like him and this flirting has been going on for almost a year. I showed a lot more interest in him in the beginning but then he started telling me about some girls that like him... but he doesnt like them back, he just likes the attention. I'm afraid that I'm just one of those girls to him...so I've been backing off lately. He is seriously the most confusing guy. Oh... and yea hes a little shy sometimes.

boobaa · #5 (**permalink**) 23-04-08, 08:18 PM

From my guy point of view I'd say he likes you, especially if he is generally on the shy side. Its just that he doesn't know what to expect from you, so I wouldn't take that talk about other girls very seriously.

Nice Lover Boy · #6 (**permalink**) 28-04-08, 03:32 PM

So I guess he is one of those guys where they wait for the girl to make a move...hum...has he ever had a girlfriend before...sounds like he never had.

bohemiandonut · #7 (**permalink**) 28-04-08, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nice Lover Boy

So I guess he is one of those guys where they wait for the girl to make a move...hum...has he ever had a girlfriend before...sounds like he never had.

I agree with this post.

It's typical for guys to talk to girls they like about other girls. He is probably trying to evoke a response especially with the whole "but I'm really not that into her" thing. Oh well. Not really much you can do besides tone up your ass.

Starss · #8 (**permalink**) 06-05-08, 12:39 AM

Socialable but shy...And a series of behavior that confused the other people...
This guy has psychological problem
, but I'd say he has a feeling for you.

Starss · #9 (**permalink**) 06-05-08, 12:47 AM

Just observe him and let everything be. It's dangerous to love such kind of people. Who will be hurt at the end? Definetly not him! i dont mess up with strange people now. They will never make things straight.

Gigabitch · #10 (**permalink**) 06-05-08, 02:37 AM

I think he's testing your interest by mentioning the other girl. A year of flirting with no progress, though? Sounds like this is going nowhere.

Kromat · #11 (**permalink**) 06-05-08, 06:00 AM

I say that you should confRont, and asks, If he feels more for you than just a friend.
Help Him open up more, than just flirting all the time, flirting is okay as long as there is a purpose for it to eVolve one day.
Guys sometimes need that one person to help change their personality, and be more of a risk taker & gain some confidence.

P.S. You waited a whole year and haven't given him any signals, at least he's trying.
Advance and show how much you like Him, If it's still worth it at this point.

GrkScorp · #12 (**permalink**) 06-05-08, 06:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by confused0815

and... recently hes been kinda flirting with one of my girlfriends, but when I ask him about it later he says he doesnt like her at all. So i'm wondering if hes just leading me on too? And finally...the big slap in the face is that recently hes been talking about a girl he likes in one of his classes. He still flirts with me... but then he'll randomly bring this girl up and ask me for advice! So what the heck does he want?! does it seem like he likes me? just leading me on? or am I completely over-thinking everything and he doesnt like me at all?

How dare he! Why doesn't he chase after you and get lulled by your powerful lovespell? Why does he flirt with other girls? Clearly.., the only girl on earth for him is YOU.., why doesn't he know that?

Exactly.., the truth is.., you are 1 in 3 apparently.., until more girls enter this picture.., he may or may not be leading you on.., he may or may not like you.., he may or may not a lot of things.., but all of these things are distractions.., if you're going to wait.., around.., until he falls on your lap.., it's not going to happen..

I don't know if you had the pleasure of watching the Bachelor.., I have all seasons on DVD.., it's my favorite show.., 25 women.., all there.., for the chance to marry one man.., and it always come to the point.., late in the show.., with 3 women left.., where some or all of them are not open.., STILL.., this late in the show.., none of them.., or maybe just one of them.., has put themselves out there.., been genuine and open with him.., and has shown him that "hey.., i'm emotionally invested in you"..

This season.., when that happened.., you were left with a California blonde (open).., a account executive (shy).., and a bimbo with a lisp (playing hard-to-get/disinterested).., Guess which one made it through? Just.., with absolute certainty.., guess which one is still there.., go ahead.., take your time.., it happens in every single Bachelor.., done? Great.., yeah.., it was the girl who was open with him..

Now.., you have a group of 3 girls.., in his world right now.., there are three women.., maybe he's interested in one of them.., some of them.., or all of them.., but what gets him to pick one girl over the other? Better yet.., which girl does he end up picking?

(hard-to-get/disinterested): the one who is giving him zero signs of interest and is acting like "just friends" and perhaps even disinterested?

(shy): the girl who is giving him zero signs of interest.., and although she's interested in him.., is afraid to step outside that "friends" vibe.., and take both of them into a more comfortable phase.., so instead she waits for him to decode her.., and do that himself.., she's already made up her mind.., to just wait.., and if things don't work out.., to blame it on him..

(open): the girl who gives him signs of interest.., and lets him know that what he feels for her.., is also mutually felt by her for him.., creating so much comfort.., that he will naturally go in and lead the situation..

Which girl are you? How do you expect him to just "know" that you like him? Better yet.., do you expect him to just jump blindly into leading you.., anywhere.., when he doesn't know if you are interested in him? Is that a reasonable expectation? Would you do that? Didn't think so.., So then.., what indicatiors of interest have you given for him to work with? Or have you been completely up-tight and locked-up.., praying he'll figure it all out? Why haven't you given him any signs of interest? Do you even know where to start with giving him any signs of interest? Well.., it looks like you have a lot to think about then..,

Best,

GrkScorp

littlewing · #13 (**permalink**) 06-05-08, 07:38 AM

If he spends more time with you than with other girls then he prefers you, guess he is just keeping his options open if you say no... guys do that quite often

confused0815 · #14 (**permalink**) 07-05-08, 05:52 AM

Thanks so much for all your advice! It deffinitely helped clear things up a bit for me. And I know I'm probably confusing him just as much as he is me. The thing with that is I'm a VERY shy person when it comes to flirting and its hard for me to take it a step further without knowing if he's interested. I just don't want to make a move on him and have him freak out because he doesnt like me. Not to mention our friendship would probably get really awkward and be ruined if i make a move when the feelings aren't mutual. But I'll see what I can do. I'll try and make my intentions more clear with him and see how he responds. Thanks again!

twisted · #15 (**permalink**) 07-05-08, 08:59 AM

i say he's just looking for the first gal who'll drop her pants for him. those guys suck.