Does he like me? What does he want???

[tryingtoforget]

Gorgeous guy, a lot in common, nice guy(I think).

Finally asked him to meet me for a drink. We talked for maybe three hours. Good times, no kiss...

Asked him to go to an art walk the next day. He said yes, he'd call me. He texted me but was being vague and distant about going somewhere, so I just did my thing and forgot about it.

He messaged me the next night and I asked him to meet me at a local park where we walked and talked for another three hours. No kissing, very respectful. But every time I ask him about his day...etc, he holds back.

So I figure girlfriend or something.

Later that night I text him and ask why he hasn't asked me out.

He eventually gets to the fact that he just got dumped three weeks ago(Oh crap fresh out) and he's working that all out after being with her two years.

I say okay cool thanks for being honest, we can just be friends, I didnt' know you weren't free.

He says no, I am single.

I say if you're looking for comfort, be careful where you look, I'm a nice girl.

He says, if thats what I was doing, I would have jumped your bones already(Not those exact words).

I have also engaged, once, in...a very explicitly sexual conversation via text, which I'm not too happy about.

I'm waiting for him to make the next move...I cannot tell if he likes me or if he's just lonely or what, he's really hard to read.

Also, he keeps trying to bring up sex via text and I'm trying to avoid the topic as I don't want this to be the basis for the relationship(whatever it turns out to be or not be)... any thoughts on talking(focusing) about sex early on?

I've made it clear that we aren't going to sleep together without some time put in.

[DharmicLove]

Im glad to be the first to respond. Child, you may really like this guy alot, I can tell. But the fact is, he has baggage. While he may in fact be feeling you too, he just got out of a two year relationship. He's not ready yet for a new relationship, he only wants sex. Dont do it, especially if it lowers your standards. Even if he does agree to a relationship, dont do it, unless you like the nick name "rebound". He could still have feelings for his ex, and they could get back together, and he wont care that it hurt you.

[tryingtoforget]

Quote:

Originally Posted by DharmicLove

Im glad to be the first to respond. Child, you may really like this guy alot, I can tell. But the fact is, he has baggage. While he may in fact be feeling you too, he just got out of a two year relationship. He's not ready yet for a new relationship, he only wants sex. Dont do it, especially if it lowers your standards. Even if he does agree to a relationship, dont do it, unless you like the nick name "rebound". He could still have feelings for his ex, and they could get back together, and he wont care that it hurt it you.

Yup, I hate to admit you're probably right.

But in the interest of lost causes, is there such a thing as a guy(or girl) without baggage?
I'm only five months out and I feel perfectly ready to be in something...

[DharmicLove]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tryingtoforget

Yup, I hate to admit you're probably right.

But in the interest of lost causes, is there such a thing as a guy(or girl) without baggage?
I'm only five months out and I feel perfectly ready to be in something...

I think 5 months would qualify as enough time to pull yourself together. To get closure, and to come to terms with yourself and feelings.

[tryingtoforget]

but not three weeks?
Damn, when you're right, you're right.

[IndiReloaded]

Rebound. DL said it all.

[IndiReloaded]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tryingtoforget

I'm only five months out and I feel perfectly ready to be in something...

Estimates I've heard are approx 1/2 the time together to get over being apart.

[tryingtoforget]

well i was with him for five years but it was an unhappy situation, so I think I got over it faster.

[IndiReloaded]

Women often 'leave' before they leave, if that makes any sense. Not usually so for guys, unless they have someone on the side.

[Mishanya]

Be a friend. What better way to get to know him than that.

[tryingtoforget]

Quote:

Originally Posted by IndiReloaded

Women often 'leave' before they leave, if that makes any sense. Not usually so for guys, unless they have someone on the side.

Makes perfect sense, you're right. We do.

[tryingtoforget]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mishanya

Be a friend. What better way to get to know him than that.

Yes, friend. Good, I need to work on being friends with guys anyway.

[tryingtoforget]

Okay so now we have not done anything but he messages me all day every day. What is that??
He won't ask me to hang out.
He says he's shy.
I've asked him to hang out a couple times but we're both really busy...
Its driving me bonkers, I'm not used to guys being so...enigmatic?
I asked him why he's so cold and he said its because he takes a while to get to know people.
I'm confizzled.

[Tedel]

I think he could be thinking on starting something serious with you (you didn't agree on having sex, so he might be considering you special), and he's meditating about it.

[Gigabitch]

A "shy" guy wants to have text-sex? I don't think so. Draw some clear boundaries with him. He'll appreciate it, actually.