Originally Posted by
Mishanya 
That's true. There's a different aspect to love as well I think, one which is more connected to your own esteem. One where you give for the sake of giving, one where you help others, where you are kind for the sake of being kind. It's also part of love for partner or sometimes for anybody. So not purely emotional though I think there's still an under current of emotional drive. In the end that's what controls our behaviour, emotions. Thoughts (the way I see it anyway) is just our lame attempt to create or manufcature emotions consciously so we can keep our behaviour under control.
Lest we forget that at the end of the day.., without these buildings.., technology.., or clothes.., we are no more or less an animal than any other creature on this planet.., that's the naked truth..
Our goals are the same:
Primary: To survive
Secondary: To procreate and pass on those survivor genes
That's it.., that's all there is to your life.., survive.., have kids.., raise kids.., die..
There a whole array of reasons why we have thoughts.., but when it comes to partner selection.., there are only two reasons that drive our thoughts.., (survival & procreation).., deep in your unconscious.., these are the only two things that matter..
So then.., what things come into play.., how the hell can we account for two people coming together.., it's rather rude of them to think.., "I want to be with you because you will help me and my children survive.., and you have good genes I can pass on to my children so that they too may survive".., what's the next step in unconscious thinking?
Three things:
- Attraction --> (notice: genes --> will pass along to children)
- Comfort --> (We'll get to this later)
- Value --> (notice: survival of one's self & children)
Typical Male:
- Attraction <-- (breasts.., butt.., hips.., waist.., legs.., face.., feminine sexual appeal)
Female Type I:
- Attraction <-- (face.., body.., style.., masculine sexual appeal)
Female Type II:
- Value <-- (Mr. Degree.., Net Assets.., Income.., Job)
Female Type III:
- Attraction
- Value
Female Type IV:
- Attraction
- Comfort (understanding.., good communication.., connection.., chemistry)
Female Type V:
- Attraction
- Comfort
- Value
A good-looking partner will no doubt pass on some of those genes to the kids.., and so there's mental framework in place to make us chase after that.., (sexual desire).., so our thought process reads.., "omg.., so hot.., will be able to give me so much sexual pleasure"..
A strong partner (which in today's day and age.., means wealthy).., will secure the survival of both you and the children.., and their ability to survive in the future and pass on those genes..
So far.., all of that doesn't really sound too romantic.., if we would imagine a notion of "love".., this wouldn't be it..
Why the need for comfort?
Comfort is one of those things.., that is really the super-glue behind two people staying together.., The emperor penguins for example.., don't have income.., they all look the same.., but if they don't have that special "pair bond".., there is no way they can expect to have that egg hatch into a little baby penguin and survive past -120 degree weather for months..
Comfort is.., everything else.., it's bonding.., it's connection.., it's fluid communication and perfect understanding.., sensitivity and care for one's needs.., and it allows the other person to feel.., that there is someone out there.., who knows how they feel.., who can "comfort" them.., protect them.., keep them safe.., make them feel secure.., motivate them.., be supportive.., and see them happy.. (yeah.., that's nice.., but why is this important again?)
What does it mean when two people see eachother.., and start dating? Isn't it just an attempt to pass on genes? And when things "just didn't work out".., what does that mean? Something was lacking.., was it that they weren't sexually satisfying them (attraction)? was it that they were too poor (value)? Or was it something else? And if so.., what?
If you're not motivated to get up.., and try.., to put energy and effort into life.., into everything you do.., chances are.., you're not just going to fail in school.., work.., or life.., but with your children aswell.., and more immediately.., with your partner.., which means that you and your partner may go your own ways.., with a child in the picture.., which means that child's chances of survival are less.., which unconsciously (is unattractive & a major no-no).., it's for this reason that lazy people are unattractive.., but also.., why those who can motivate us to be better people.., are attractive.., those who can see things in us that we can't see in ourselves.., who are supportive.., understanding.., care for us.., etc.., (all comfort)..
The Human Pair Bond:
Let's imagine for a minute.., a man and a woman meet.., and that comfort is important to both of them.., what kind of dynamic do you think would exist if they would both give comfort to eachother? It goes beyond sex.., it goes beyond money.., what is going on? What can we call this? It's most definitely not lust.., it's not something that can fade.., it's a self-feeding cycle.., it just keeps getting stronger with time.. back and forth.., it's love..
"You complete me"
It's more than.., "you fill a void in my pants".., if you're creative.., it's someone coming into your life.., and letting you explore your analytical side.., or where others have rejected you.., has accepted you just the way you are.., makes you feel better about yourself.., and makes you want to be a better person.., they already make you feel like a better person.., (comforting insecurities.., validating needs & wants.., validating ego & self-identity).., and when this is mutual.., it really is better than sex.., better than money.., it's love..
Best,
GrkScorp
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