What are his intentions?

[cairenn13]

I have this guy friend who is married. We've talked about it, and I've made it clear to him that I do not condone cheating, nor wish to be a home-wrecker. He says he admires my morals, however he continues to act in a way that makes me think he's interested in more than friendship. I'm confused now because I don't know if he really likes me or is just after sex or a bit of fun on the side.

He texts me at random during the week, and calls on weekends to ask what I'm up to.
We work across the road from each other, and if he's passing by during break time he'll stop to chat. Sometimes we'll get so caught up in our conversation we lose track of time.
When we are hanging out together he won't answer any phone calls or text messages.
He went out and bought me an Easter egg after he found out I hadn't got any on Easter weekend.
He always waves when he sees me over the road.
Most days he texts me when I get to work just to say 'Good morning'
He doesn't let the guys at work know how often he talks to me or sees me. He says they'll get the wrong idea.
When he invites me out somewhere he keeps it a secret from everyone, and expects me to do the same.
He says I'm great when I act like myself, but he also compliments my body much more.

He also told me he can't remember why he got married in the first place, and that he wished we'd met before he'd gotten married.

He says he's gutted because our timing was off. I started work while he was away for seven years, during which time he met and married his wife. Says if he'd met me before his wife things would be very different.

I really like him because nobody has ever been nicer to me than he has, but I will not help him cheat on his wife. I am more than happy to have him as a friend only, but that might be hard to do if he's only playing me to get sex.

Need another opinion on what his true intentions might be . . .

Please help?

[Lite]

You just need to cut off being friends with him. If he doesn't respect his wife enough to remain faithful and end the relationship before pursuing you, why would he respect you and be any more faithful to you?

Seriously? You have to ask what he wants? He wants to stick his penis in you, and for you to tell him it's OK for him to cheat. Duh.

Whether or not he has actual feelings for you is secondary, because he isn't considering your feelings and desires for honesty and integrity. He wants you to empower him to do what he knows is wrong. Don't let him use you like that.

[Tug]

Your friend obviously wants more than to be your friend but in the long run you'll be the one thats going to get hurt. The best thing for you to do IMO is to cut your loses and move on.

[Henry123]

I have this guy friend who is married. We've talked about it, and I've made it clear to him that I do not condone cheating, nor wish to be a home-wrecker. He says he admires my morals, however he continues to act in a way that makes me think he's interested in more than friendship. I'm confused now because I don't know if he really likes me or is just after sex or a bit of fun on the side.

What is there to be confused about?
Married means married.
If he says he is married then leave it alone!

If he likes you would that mean it gives you the green light to go ahead and get involved? This still would then make you a home wrecker.

He wouldnty be doing what he is doing if he respected his wife. You should respect thier relationship and not get tangled in it.

If he has fallen out of love with his wife then he would have gotten a divorce long ago. Dont you think?

A whole lot of people can be hurt in this and not just yourself. I would just cut your loses and let him know his advances are not welcomed. Its not worth your time and emotional toil pursuing this.

[steelsword]

Red flags ahoy! If he won't answer his phone when he is around you that means his wife doesn't know about you and would chew him out if she did. He is trying to hook up with you and have some sex on the side. End it.

[cluelessinluv]

hi cairenn,

wow,we're halfway across the world yet we still hav the same problem. this really means that guys do think and act alike, wherever they may be.

so there, im in a similar situation right now. me and my oficemate got close this year when i transfered to the other office, i wasn't aware of his intentions then, thought he's just one of the guys..

months pass by and he kept on doin the "sweet stuff", ask me to watch his basketball games, call me (using company fone) and ask why i'm not around the office or when i'm going to get back, shares his food with me, he even stops by my workplace every now and then to talk to me or tell that he's going to the other bldg..

bad news is that all the while that we're hanging out, he never mentions that he was engaged. learned that info from another oficemate... i thought he just acts like that to other girls, so i pushed my growing feelings for him aside--convinced myself that it was only just a crush.

when he came back (from his marriage leave), he started where he left off..this time, he started holding my hands whenever he have a slight chance. he even walks me to my car and stays and chat a little.. i really began to get confused. he knows that i know he's married, yet he continues to do this things..

i then finally asked him one night when he called, asked why he was acting like that, he finally admitted that he likes me, even before when i was new to the company (about 2years ago and i was on the other bldg). he asks if i feel the same, i told him that im confused but im beginning to like him. He asked me if we can be more than friends, but i immediately told him NO coz he's married, and even though i don't know the girl, i feel bad for her.

thought that got over him after that talk, the special feeling just suddenly disappered.. but then he keeps on calling, (but we don't hang out like before). then finally last night, after he called, i felt it agen.. i dont know, i dont want him to stop caring for me, but i know that going further is wrong, and i know that he's not gonna leave her wife for me. i'ts just so confusing

so there.. all the way back from asia.. another girl lies confused because of a guy who don't seem to be contented with what he have.

must forget him. but how? i see him every day...

[PoeticFlirt]

Its obvious he is wanting to see what kind of attention he can get from you. Testing the waters and limits of your friendship to see how far he can take it.

Throwing the ball in your court hoping you will reciprocate his feelings. I would run, not something you would want to get into

[confusedagain]

Yup he is looking to hook up with you without a doubt. What happens next is up to you. If your not interested he needs to know because if you keep hanging out with him then he thinks he has a chance. Sorry real friendships between men and women are rare, one or the other usually just wants to get with the other and uses the friendship line to try and accomplish it.

[HotAlphaFemale]

He wants the best of both worlds. Don't fall for it. And deep down you probably already sensed this.

[Yggdrasil]

I have this guy friend who is married.

The end.

Now get as far away as you can from this guy.