Should I give up???

[Real Anonymous]

Hope09:
I'm 36 and if i'm anything like this guy but a younger version 7 weeks would be well in the time of observing the other person.
Alot of my friends seem to be able to find someone in just a week or at a bar just like that.
I on the other hand take 3 months easily to be able to observe her enough.

Some of the things i read into this guy is that he might like me be someone who dont make fast desicions, but when he make a desicion he propably stick by them until he is convinced there is a better way (not just for himself but for everyone).

If he is like me he will be happy hearing youre intrested in him regardless of if he is intrested in you.
I think he will like being liked, if he is like me he will know if he love you long before you will "end up in bed"

From what i have read he is intrested in being near you.
I can't tell if he love you but i'd say he seems to be intrested in getting to know you better.
From guessing i would say there is a really big chance that he is actually intrested in you as a female human
Not just as a golf buddy but that too

[Hope09]

Am I missing something here? I have read in several posts from different people that he likes me, however, I just don't see it. Sure, we golf once a week and I feel he is comfortable with me. I just don't see it as he likes me. I am starting to see that I am just a just a golfing buddy.

Its not like he calls me up and invites me to a movie.

Here's something that I thought was pretty cool. We had a golf tournament today and I was the 2nd group teeing off and he was the 4th group. As I was on the 2nd hole and he just hit off the first hole, he saw me chipping. His friend is like "c'mon we need to go". He says "hang on, I want to see her chip since we've been practicing it this week. And his friend says "hey we need to go", so my friend says "hang on"...well, as both of them are watching me, I chip this really good chip shot like 5 feet from the cup. And my friend is all happy for me. The reason why I know this is I just got off the phone with him and he told me the story. I thought that was pretty cool

This is something that I forgot to mention. The other day when we went golfing, a couple of quarters fell out of my pocket and after I got back in the cart, he hands me the quarters and says "this is for being a good "girlfriend". I just brushed it off and thought "girlfriend". He hasn't even kissed me yet to be calling me that. I thought that was weird.

We are getting together to hit some golf balls in the middle of the week and golfing this weekend. I don't know. I'm 45 yrs old and I just feel life is too short to see if someone is interested in you are not. I just don't want to be like 65 yrs old and he finally makes a move on me because by that time, it will be way too late.

[Yggdrasil]

Am I missing something here? I have read in several posts from different people that he likes me, however, I just don't see it.

As I was on the 2nd hole and he just hit off the first hole, he saw me chipping. His friend is like "c'mon we need to go". He says "hang on, I want to see her chip since we've been practicing it this week. And his friend says "hey we need to go", so my friend says "hang on"...well, as both of them are watching me, I chip this really good chip shot like 5 feet from the cup. And my friend is all happy for me. The reason why I know this is I just got off the phone with him and he told me the story.

The other day when we went golfing, a couple of quarters fell out of my pocket and after I got back in the cart, he hands me the quarters and says "this is for being a good "girlfriend". I just brushed it off and thought "girlfriend".

I'm 45 yrs old and I just feel life is too short to see if someone is interested in you.

C'mon,

he's giving you many subtle clues.

I think you should count your blessings. This guy isn't needy, isn't pushy, encourages you in your golfing game, even tells his friend he's golfing with watching you chipping is more important than being pressured into leaving, calls you and tells you about it (something that should make you feel appreciated), gives you subtle hints and on top of that he's being a complete gentleman about it. What do you want more? A writing on his forehead that says: TAKE ME?

I betcha he's about as unsure as you are at this point in time and is taking his time, checking the green before he decides how to put.

You now, great relations grow slowly, they don't spontaneously come into existance. You want something good and longlasting, you have to build a solid foundation. Rome wasn't build in one day either

I think your impatience may be a killer here. RELAX. LOL. You sound like a teenager in love (no offense, I think it's cute).

You're 45 dear.. you still have a few decades to go...

As he said: don't worrie, your game will improve... just loosen up a little and go with the flow Meanwhile, have fun, enjoy.

Next time, why don't you suggest a different restaurant? It's so simple to do that: "Bob, do you like seafood? I know this place, they have really great seafood. We should go there one day." (hint hint).

[Hope09]

he's giving you many subtle clues.

I am not trying to be dumb, really I am not, but how is he giving me subtle clues???? Obviously, I don't take hints very well. He knows I am interested and if he is, well, heck, just kiss me or wrap your arms around me and I will know. Until then, I just think he might want to be a golfing buddy.

[Yggdrasil]

I am not trying to be dumb, really I am not, but how is he giving me subtle clues???? Obviously, I don't take hints very well. He knows I am interested and if he is, well, heck, just kiss me or wrap your arms around me and I will know. Until then, I just think he might want to be a golfing buddy.

I don't think you are dumb or so, I think you're just not used to having older, mature men around.

They'll give you subtle hints, like a wink, an innuendo, a gentle touch on the forearm, a compliment about what you are wearing, or how you are holding your driver during your golf game, things like that.

Don't be surprised if one of these days he takes you for a long walk through the park (do I need to say more?).

It's their way of gently polling where they are standing.

I suggest: give it time. Give him subtle hints to, like comparing how tanned your ankles are, holding on to his shoulder if you have to grab another driver, simply looking at him with a little smile on your face or complimenting him on that great shot. In other words: mirror him.

You simply have to do two things:

1. Slow down. Enjoy. Let it grow.
2. You just have to learn how to read him. Give it time.

You're not wasting any time here. Even if he in the long run turns out not to be romanticaly interested, this will be a great experience for you on how to take things slow

Give it a shot. You may be amazingly surprised

And I still think this is cute.. lol

[Hope09]

Yggdrasil - Thank You for being very helpful. So here's a question not just to you. If he likes me then why doesn't he ask me to a movie...something different other than just golfing. And to be honest, no, I won't ask him to a movie since I am the one that made the first move in to go golfing.

I am glad you find this cute, however, I just wished he would kiss me or put his arm around me. I do notice when I hit my shot, he sits in the cart with his arm around the seat and as soon as I sit in the cart, he pulls away. If he's interested, why can't he just keep his arm there?

I feel I do give him subtle hints, however, maybe he is like me and doesn't take those subtle hints very well.

Why can't he ask me to a movie? I'm a little shy that if I ask him to a movie he will say no and say "I just want to just stick with golf".

[Doc Durian]

Work a movie with golf into the conversation... swear up and down that Chevy Chase says something particular (outlandish, slightly incorrect) in Caddyshack or another film and wait for him to bite.

Then invite him over to watch the dvd, and have a meal.

Golfing is your magic carpet to other things, here.

[Yggdrasil]

Well, those are good questions and I don't have answers right away.

As for him removing his arm, he may find it inappropriate at this stage to do this, or he may not want to give you the wrong impression. Who knows.

Kissing... WOW... easy... back off... we're at the friends stage.. you wanna give the guy a heart attack?? LOL...

Now this is something that may break the ice: how about you casually ask him if he has other interests besides golfing?

That should be a big hint to him. It clearly shows your interest in coming to know him better. If he doesn't get that one, he's either brain dead or totally not interested in you on a higher level.

[Hope09]

Kissing... WOW... easy... back off... we're at the friends stage.. you wanna give the guy a heart attack?? LOL...

What's wrong with kissing? To be quite honest, I really don't think its going to be any further than a golfing buddy.

However, he did email me stating he has requested to golf with just the 2 of us rather be paired up with 2 other people. I think he knows someone at the course. I am sure the reason why he requested just the 2 of us is so we can practice our shots/putts. Anyways, if its just the 2 of us, how would I bring up the movie, providing if I have enough beers to get the courage to bring this up. Do I just BLURT out "so you interested in a movie".

[JohnnyGileaid]

You should start talking about movies; try to direct the conversation there. Know what movies are in theaters or will soon be coming to theaters.

For example, I'm a huge Harry Potter fan and so it sometimes comes up in conversation whether through books or movies. I'm not saying to use this movie, but for the sake of my example the girl I'm with might say, "Oh I love Harry Potter too". (A lot of people my age do.) Well, the new Harry Potter movie comes out next month, so I would say, "awesome, we should go see it together."

I'm definitely in a different age dating crowd, but I don't see why that general idea wouldn't work (Ygg can probably help more). Try to guess what movies he would be interested in and he might ask you to go see it with him if you act really interested as well. It doesn't seem like it would be too hard to get on the topic of movies and sort of segue into recent/future movies.

One time this girl told me that she really wanted to see this movie, but none of her friends would go with her. She stared at me for a second and said something like, "I probably going to have to see it by myself..." I still didn't reply and she said, "going to movies by yourself sucks." Lol. You could try using pretty obvious hints like that, I didn't bit though since I wasn't interested in her.

[Hope09]

We are going to the driving range in a few minutes. For some odd reason, I am really nervous, more so than usual. Maybe if I get the courage to see if he would like to see a movie with me and then if he rejects me, I guess I should have listened to everyone here. However, I don't think asking him to a movie is too quick, is it?

[glueying]

something that I learned so far about men is that they are "basic"...we women have the tendency of over thinking so my advice is don't!! don't over think! cos he is not doing it...when you say golf he thinks golf so if you want something else just say it as it is.

[Hope09]

Well, I chickened out. I didn't ask him to a movie. Man, I need help.

[Hope09]

We went golfing today. I actually was in the cart and leaned against him only because I didn't want to get hit by the golf ball. As I was leaning against him, he says "I am good for something"...and I just laughed

After about 2 holes later, I had to lean against him again because I didn't want to get hit by the golf ball. He did lean towards me both times. However, both times, I quickly got out of the cart. I don't know why I did....I just did.

Afterwards, we went to dinner and during dinner he says "so are you just going to sit in an air conditioning house (its supposed to be 105 degrees tomorrow) and I said "I don't know and then quickly asked how his dinner was.

I'm really beginning to think we are just golfing buddies and nothing more. I think 8 times is more than enough to see he is interested in me and I just don't think he is.

I do thank everyone's advice and suggestions.

[Hope09]

Ok, I am back. I haven't had a response is 5 days from anyone. I really need help.

I decided I can't give up on this guy. He is really someone that could be my best friend and more. However, I can't seem to get past 1st base.

I could really use some help here. We golf alot together and the more we golf the more I like him. I thought I could just tell him I am interested in him, however, I feel that would probably make him feel uncomfortable and may not want to golf with me anymore, which I don't want him to do.

Seriously, I really could use some help from anyone taking the time to read my situation.