He doesnt want to let go of our friendship. Why??

[ellie]

...And if anyone is interested in hearing what happened: We had a looong talk tonight and it turns out:

He is interested but just don't want any relationship at all right now. I didn't think there was such a thing as being interested, but too busy for a relationship, but I learned today that there IS such a thing! So now you know!

He likes me a lot but really just wants to be single right now. "Sunmoonstars" - I think this answers your question that relationships are just as much about timing as about anything else!

So now I know the answer. I guess "Sunmoonstars" you were right, he is interested but just really really doesnt want a girlfriend at all right now.

Thanx anyway for all your replies, I appreciate your feedback!!

[raptor5618]

I think the sad thing is that you decided to blow him off because you did not get the answer you wanted. He never directly said he wanted more and eyes talking is not the same thing. Even talking does not give you assurance of what the person is thinking.

He wanted to stay friends because you were friends and I think that if he really was thinking eventual relationship he would have jumped on it. I think he was not so he just wanted to stay friends. Why I do not know but it sounds like he liked being friends. Who has not contacted a friend that has gotten mad at something we did.

I think he is telling you what you want to hear so that you can stay friends. I mean how much more time does a relationship take than a friendship?

I think you would do better to stop living your life based upon what the other person is thinking. Why would you end a friendship because the other person did not want a relationship. Would you do that to one of your female friends?

I have several female friends and that is all it will ever be and I value their friendship.

[ellie]

The thing here is that I am really starting to worry about my own instincts, how can I possibly have misjudged the situation so completely?? THAT is what worries me, I always trust my gut feeling and I did it this time too, and for the first time my gut feeling was wrong.

I dont know if I'll ever be able to trust my instincts again.

In that case, I'd like to know - how can you EVER know if you are just friends or something else?? Or is it that you just never know, you just have to ask and hope for the best?

I trusted my gut feeling but apparently I was wrong.


I blew him off but we had a long talk and decided to stay friends, so now things are "officially" OK again, we are still friends "on paper" (but in reality I think we both know things will never be the same anymore)

[ellie]

Why would you end a friendship because the other person did not want a relationship. Would you do that to one of your female friends?

I dont have feelings for my female friends, that's the difference.
Tell me something, how do you manage to stay close friends with someone when you or the other person is in love?

It doesn't matter what he wanted, maybe he just wanted to be friends and I misjudjed the signals he was sending - fine - but in any case I started to develop feelings and now things are pretty much screwed up.

Trust me, I want things to go back to how they used to be, we were pretty close friends (or whatever we were), but I dont think things can ever go back to "normal" again.