stubborn or stupid for her (intro to valentines day) - Love Forum

sick-deano · #1 (**permalink**) 04-02-06, 11:00 PM

Months go by and it still the same pretty much,kid myself that im ok or going to get better. Saw her (the ex) at a gig.. i was on form but she was just cold to me, shes got him now so why would she care.Sitting indoors on my own,ill, waiting for valentines day to smack me about and then its my birthday.
He's not her type but then what do i know.. he has more xperience?,hes more together? makes her feel 'grown up' and 'sexy' blah blah blah. So much for falling in love ,thinking you found the 'one'. Im a great guy but thats not enough to keep me going,it isnt fair and it aint right but thats life. Life, well ill see whats got to be done after my birthday. This is me venting but if anyone reads this can i ask you "what happens if you never let go?"

shh! · #2 (**permalink**) 04-02-06, 11:21 PM

Its been months and you still are so bitter? How long were you guys together, and how old are you? Most importantly, what have you been doing that will help you to develop a life separate from her? Do you have any social life at all? Hobbies?

I say that generally, people either choose to hold on to their pain or they choose to give it up. Either way, that person is getting something out of it. He who moves on gets a new life. He who holds on to their pain gets to feel like a victim and wallow in their pain and feel sorry for themselves, and perhaps gain attention from others due to their victim status.

sick-deano · #3 (**permalink**) 05-02-06, 12:38 AM

2 years together and im 21. I play guitar and draw alot,write music etc.. trying to get a cd together atm.Try and do go out,all my mates live far. I am holding on but its to her, not my pain,maybe its the same. I just want her but thats same old news, why do i feel like its only her in the world?That theres no one who comes close to her. Moan moan moan.

Thank you for ur reply,guess i keep taking it like this.. days of my new life then days of wanting her back because thats how its been going.I know i cant 'get over' her so ill just keep going on, just im so sick of thinking it and seeming so lost.

Late_vamp · #4 (**permalink**) 05-02-06, 01:15 AM

[quote=sick-deano]. trying to get a cd together atm.QUOTE]

atm ??? ass to mouth >>??

thats the only part i didnt understand

Debunkt · #5 (**permalink**) 05-02-06, 01:36 AM

at the moment

alice · #6 (**permalink**) 05-02-06, 01:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shh!

Its been months and you still are so bitter? How long were you guys together, and how old are you? Most importantly, what have you been doing that will help you to develop a life separate from her? Do you have any social life at all? Hobbies?

I say that generally, people either choose to hold on to their pain or they choose to give it up. Either way, that person is getting something out of it. He who moves on gets a new life. He who holds on to their pain gets to feel like a victim and wallow in their pain and feel sorry for themselves, and perhaps gain attention from others due to their victim status.

that's not fair. some people do not choose to hold on to their pain, they just can't find a way out of it. i'm still in pain after more than four months now (some days the pain seems to have gone, others it's feels worse than ever), and i just don't know how to get over it. i know, there's no way me and my ex could have staid together, and there's nothing to be gained by keeping crying over spilt milk, but at times you just can't help it.

*august* · #7 (**permalink**) 05-02-06, 02:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sick-deano

I know i cant 'get over' her so ill just keep going on, just im so sick of thinking it and seeming so lost.

I'm sorry to hear that your feeling so down about this. Getting over a relationship is really hard to do and something I can't say i've done yet. I understand where your coming from, Its been 5 months and I still feel as hurt, sad, and angry as I did when me and my ex first split up. BUt that hurt and that anger has shifted...Its not that I want him back now its just reallly hard to accept that he could do the things he did to me, I feel like I lost lots of parts of myself and feel like they'll be even more lost if I completly let all this hurt go I suppose.....

I think you need to acknowledge that she and what your feeling is ONE dimension of your life and not let it be the only one. Hopefully in time the other things in your life will overpower this hurt...

sick-deano · #8 (**permalink**) 05-02-06, 03:47 AM

It's been 7months for me. Maybe she knows she can always fall back on me so im a complete toy, or maybe im just not meant to be with someone. Ive dated others since but its not right, they aren't her.Holding on wont help but i try not to and no one comes close to her. She was the best i'll have then sadly but u never know.. guess ill keep hoping one day she'll come back.

*august* · #9 (**permalink**) 05-02-06, 09:34 AM

i don't think anyone will ever be right while your still hoping she'll take u back. It doesn't seem like your at a point where you can judge any other relationship/girl that your with fairly b/c you still haven't gotten any closure over the relationship with your ex.

Pears · #10 (**permalink**) 05-02-06, 09:59 AM

If you really liked your ex, it is hard to find anyone who seems better than her. You have to keep looking and really give other people a chance. At first, they may not seem great, but if you give them more time, you may find things about them that makes them worthwhile.

sick-deano · #11 (**permalink**) 05-02-06, 08:10 PM

Hmm thanks, advice noted. Like i said doh , its her or nobody.. see how it goes for a bit. Theres no other reason for all this than for me to **** my life up, im at least going to see it out till the end of the year.