Tell Me Ladies: What's Your Favorite Way of Getting Dumped? - Love Forum

MVPlaya · #1 (**permalink**) 29-11-03, 01:53 PM

ROFL... couldn't help myself.

Anyway, I posted this thread because I want to know, what's the best way to break up with a girl? Effective break-ups are not my forte because I don't really need to be good at them. There are a couple ways I break up with women and I wan't to know, what's the best way... I wan't to keep 2 things into account:
1) giving her little heartbreak
2) having her leave me alone.

I have the following methods of ending a relationship or just a fling:
1. Screen her calls
I usually apply this one to flings.
2. Take her out somewhere and tell her.
I think that an LTR deserves a face-to-face talk. Not an "over-the-phone" dump.
3. Tell her over the phone.
Usually if she persists after being screened and leaves me messages.

Also, what's the best way to say it.
I have a couple ways of saying it...
"There's just no chemistry." (Doesn't require explanation, chemistry can't be divined.)
"I'm not looking for a relationship right now" (Usually if the chick wants to date me but its not vice versa.)
"Its not you its me." (When they appear too sad.)
"There's someone else." (When they keep persisting this one seems to stop them.)

jane · #2 (**permalink**) 29-11-03, 02:55 PM

no , over the phone dumping ... regardless of how long the relationship is. Its tacky.

As long as your honest about why, I don't thin it matters where. Just not over the phone.

The it's not you its me thing, is Bullshit and we know that. That;s not being honest, I would just tell her the truth.. Her heart may be broken at first but she'll feel better because you were honest.
I'll write more tommorrow... I guess I am going out.

MVPlaya · #3 (**permalink**) 29-11-03, 03:04 PM

Jane, about, in my experience, just being honest won't necesserily get them to leave me alone. I have some women who try to take the LJBF route (Lets Just Be Friends) and try to get with me again through being friend and it annoys me. I want some phrase that will make sure I get some peace of mind.

jane · #4 (**permalink**) 29-11-03, 03:05 PM

clean break.. no friends thing,,, that never works anyway.

We have nothing in common.. and I don't seethis going anywhere..

BAM.. honest..
thats it

sfalexi · #5 (**permalink**) 29-11-03, 03:07 PM

Hmmm. So many different ways to try.

No over the phone or email dumping is what'd I say. That's completely gutless. You have to be careful not to break up with them at an emotional time because that tends to hurt them much more and also it puts you more at risk for someone who keeps bothering (read this as "STALKING") you. Happened to my friend. He broke up with his girlfriend after a day of sex and a night of arguing. He said he didn't want to take this shit anymore. . . . eventually she filed a false abuse complaint against him and had him arrested at his school. Had to change his number, and get a restraining order. And now she keyed his car.

Depends how quickly you need to break up with her. If it's something that has to be done fast, I'd say (for a fling), just give it the cold shoulder. They'll get the message and since they weren't that involved with you, they'll soon move on and forget. For a LTR, face to face is a good thing.

If it's something inbetween (a girl you were dating for a short while but found it wasn't gonna work), maybe you could be a little sneak about it. Since they don't know you that well, simply magically "be" everything that they don't like. Show up to a date drunk. Forget to do this and that, make HER want to break up with YOU. It shouldn't take that long, and if it gets to that you will never have to worry about them stalking you. Just worry about them telling their friends how bad a boyfriend you would make. But if you plan on breaking up and going out with one of her friends, you're a bastard anyway.

Or you could do what my ex did to me. Say you're not ready for a relationship at this point in your life (whether you're too young, too busy, whatever) but you'd like to stay friends. Then, as they keep calling to hang out, be mysteriously busy and go out with them less and less till they stop calling you.

Alexi

Killerbabe · #6 (**permalink**) 30-11-03, 01:15 AM

MVPlaya, you sound like a real player and I'm starting to hate you. "Best way to break up"? What, are you a sadist?!

MVPlaya · #7 (**permalink**) 30-11-03, 03:20 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Killerbabe

MVPlaya, you sound like a real player and I'm starting to hate you. "Best way to break up"? What, are you a sadist?!

Of course I'm not sadist, I break up with girls aplenty these days (I am a player though), I just want to know what's the most effective way to do so. I want them to have some closure and leave me alone. So, I want to give them little heartbreak but I don't want them to try to get back through little tricks like trying to be friends with me or integrating themselves in to my friends' circles and stuff like that. Its really obvious and oh-so annoying. So, what's the best way to break up with women?

jane · #8 (**permalink**) 30-11-03, 05:53 AM

He may be a sadist .. but I got handed to your honesty. I totally dig that.
I'll say it again, if I was the girl evolved, I'd want you to honest about it. Completely. Yeah, it would hurt but I would respect that.

sfalexi · #9 (**permalink**) 30-11-03, 06:40 AM

I just realized the title of the post.

Quote:

What's Your Favorite Way of Getting Dumped?

So is that an example of an oxymoron?

MVPlaya · #10 (**permalink**) 30-11-03, 07:46 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by sfalexi
I just realized the title of the post. So is that an example of an oxymoron?

Yeah, that's why the first line of my post is "ROFL... couldn't help myself." Yeah, the title is a joke, but the question is serious.

shenmue · #11 (**permalink**) 30-11-03, 03:05 PM

players - womanizers casanovas- are morons who don't have the capacity to truly fall in love or know what it feels like.

Killerbabe · #12 (**permalink**) 30-11-03, 08:31 PM

MVPlaya - the best way to avoid giving a girl heartbreak is to

STOP THE BRAIN ****WITTAGE!

sfalexi · #13 (**permalink**) 01-12-03, 02:23 AM

Player,

Instead of doing that, why don't you make it obvious upfront in the relationship that you're not looking for longterm. That way they KNOW that it's not gonna last and that they should just be in it for the fun. That's what a few girls told me last year. Two told me outright that they were moving away in a few months and that they just wanted someone to have fun with before they left.

Alexi

MVPlaya · #14 (**permalink**) 01-12-03, 03:29 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by shenmue
players - womanizers casanovas- are morons who don't have the capacity to truly fall in love or know what it feels like.

Shenmue, you're a moron. I'm on the Dean's Honor List at Cal and a Mensa Member as of 2002. About love... players understand love better than any of you. While your average guy never truly understands love and throws it out at the first cute woman who gives him a sign of affirmation, a casanova knows his worth and has self restraint. I know how to fall in love, I just don't fall in love for every girl. For me to fall for a girl she has to be attractive and intelligent and every bit as confident as me. So you can just fall in love with every girl hopelessly until they dump you for having no self-worth while I find A REAL WOMAN to spend my time with.

Think before you speak, and don't speak if you don't know.

shenmue · #15 (**permalink**) 01-12-03, 12:26 PM

lol... geez did I upset you? Take a pamprin.

I have more self worth than most because I earned that self worth... it's not an arrogant assumption that people like you have.