Someone Tell Me What Hes Thinking! - Love Forum

Eliana · #1 (**permalink**) 22-01-04, 01:14 PM

I know this wonderful boy who worked at a cyber cafe. He had 22 years and I 15 we talked for 3 months before we looked at each other and kissed. We then got together at his house everyday for the llast 2 weeks to talk and kiss. Yesterday I was asking him about his past loves and he said he only had 3 girlfriends. I told him that I only had 3 also but I had kissed 15 boys and he grew cold. I told him that I was being unfair to him about not wanting to have sex (im a virgin) and he told me that I cant buy a relationship with sex and that is not what hes after. He didnt talk to me the next day until night when he told me that he wanted us to break off for a week. He told me hes got lot of problems and that he needs some time away. I shouldnt have told him about my past but I didnt think hed be angry. He then told me that he loved me a lot and I started screaming at him oh god I even shouted that I wanted to hate him and that he should tell me something that will make me hate him. He then said that when I said that I wasnt being fair about sleeping with him part of him was happy and wanted me. But the other part knew that its was wrong and i didnt even wait for him to finish I slapped him and he walked away. I tried calling him but when he hears my voice he puts down the phone. I really love him, hes very kind and soft, talks about lots of things like life and religion and politics. I dont want to loose him. I have even tought of trying to kill myself and I just dont know what to do!

MVPlaya · #2 (**permalink**) 22-01-04, 01:15 PM

Random guess:

Eliana, tu es francais, n'est-ce pas?

Eliana · #3 (**permalink**) 22-01-04, 01:21 PM

NO IM NOT FRENCH CAN YOU HELP ME?

IceQueen · #4 (**permalink**) 22-01-04, 10:28 PM

Yeah. I agree with him that you *were* trying to buy off a relationship with sex, when you noticed he grew cold.

And I guess the reason he grew cold in the first place is because he probably expected you to be this little 15-year-old girl he would watch grow and make you the woman that *he* wanted you to see (which is not necessarily what *you* want yourself to be, mind you) -- and you've already got more experience than him (that intimidated him: what can I say, the man's got issues -- but then again, we already know a man's got issues if he dates a high school freshman when he is post-college).

Quote:

I shouldnt have told him about my past but I didnt think hed be angry.

And you are not right about that. It is much better to say such things early in a relationship, when the emotional attachment bonds have not quite formed yet (and let's face it -- at 2 weeks into a relationship you can't possibly *love* him, because you don't even *know* him yet: sure you can lust for him, but that's pretty much it.)

Quote:

I really love him, hes very kind and soft, talks about lots of things like life and religion and politics. I dont want to loose him.

Silly. There are shitloads of guys who talk about lots of things like life and religion and politics, as a matter of fact ALL guys (*and* girls) starting from four years under his age can bullsh... err, support a conversation, about life and religion and politics (unless they are completely retarded), that part you just can take for granted.

squirrley · #5 (**permalink**) 23-01-04, 01:13 AM

I agree with Icequeen. That's all too much to be happening 2 weeks into dating. And IF you really loved him, slapping him didn't show him that at all. You just placed yourself below the line.
This thing of wanting to comitt suicide? What is that?
Think about this...YOU need to find happiness within yourself before bringing it into relationship. This isn't a good one to be in right now. It's already facing issues on both of your sides that aren't going to be condusive to a fulfilling relationship.

Take some time for yourself, see what makes you happy first.
Men come and go, the only person you can rely on is YOURSELF.
No man is worth what you're putting yourself through.

Eliana · #6 (**permalink**) 23-01-04, 01:47 AM

we have been close friends for months. we've only become a couple now. as for him being abullshitter, he stays the whole day locked up reading, rarely goes out, is friendly with everyone and as for the love part, we've loved each other for a long time but we didnt tell each other because of the age difference. i didnt ask you to judge him. i need to know what is going on is his head. why did he ask to brek off for a week? will he call me back when its over? does he still love me?

Screwed_Guy · #7 (**permalink**) 23-01-04, 12:35 PM

The term "LOVE" gets thrown around way too much these days. I'll assume that it's because your only 15, that you think your in love with a guy you've only dated for two weeks... Geez you high school kids must watch too many romantic television shows or somthing to get such a warped view of love...

Eliana · #8 (**permalink**) 23-01-04, 02:30 PM

GO TO HELL WITH YOU ALL

Screwed_Guy · #9 (**permalink**) 24-01-04, 05:17 AM

Your just pissed because you found out that everyone says your wrong

Innova · #10 (**permalink**) 24-01-04, 08:33 AM

Somethings we don't like to hear, but in reality they are the truth.

squirrley · #11 (**permalink**) 24-01-04, 10:57 AM

Amen brother....I don't know what's harder, being 15 in love or 33 and in love? What do you think Innova?

Innova · #12 (**permalink**) 24-01-04, 11:22 AM

Both

At 15, the emotions are new and very raw...you lack understanding in the emotion, and with its sudden changes... thats painful.

At 33, you understand the emotion fully, you long for the feelings of such, and the lack of it leaves an emptyness that you try to fill. That void is painful.

squirrley · #13 (**permalink**) 25-01-04, 06:56 AM

Yep, so true so true, if you're feeling lack of things in your life.
Guess for me it's the reality of spending the rest of your life with someone, especially if you've become accustomed to being by yourself, but when it's good, it's ALL good.

Dont think I would want to be 15 again....but then again the innocense of it all...

Innova · #14 (**permalink**) 25-01-04, 08:39 AM

I've been alone...all my life, not by fault or reason...but its the life I was given.

Only one person made me feel as if I belonged in a sadistic world such as this, and once again life has taken his stab at me, but she is still in my life...and I still have time.

IceQueen · #15 (**permalink**) 26-01-04, 05:59 AM

Quote:

This isn't a good one to be in right now. It's already facing issues on both of your sides that aren't going to be condusive to a fulfilling relationship.

Sorry to appear catty, but the irony is killing me.