1) Do NOT hang out with your ex. It will only make you want to get back with her more. Or it’ll make you jealous, because she is with or likes someone other than you. Or it’ll make you miserable because he/she seems perfectly happy, while you feel like your heart has been through a blender and served in mincemeat pie. The best way to avoid all these things is to also avoid your ex. Maybe someday you can be friends again, but until you’re OVER her, avoid her.
1a) And if he/she starts talking about getting back together, don’t listen. At least give it a month or two – there must have been SOME reason you two broke up. You better make damn sure that you really want to get back together before you do. Otherwise you might just get dragged onto the same emotional roller coaster all over again. Making damn sure takes some time. Don’t just think about it for a day, because your emotions, rather than your intelligence, will probably win out.
2) Think about the things that went WRONG in your relationship. No, don’t tell me that your relationship was perfect. It wasn’t. Maybe she yelled at you for checking out some girl when you weren’t and wouldn’t believe you. Maybe he kept telling you about how great sex with his ex was. Now, realize to yourself that these are things that you don’t necessarily have to forgive because you “love them.” Get really mad, and realize you shouldn’t have had to put up with this shit.
3) Talk with your friends (NOT her/his friends, or you may just end up with her/him yelling at you). Chances are, your friends probably didn’t like something about your ex or you guys as a couple. Trust me, hearing your friends say, “Man, you ex was such an asshole/spoiled bitch, last year I kept wanting to tell you to dump him/her. I’m glad you guys are broken up. Man, what a horrible person” makes you feel much much better.
4) Realize that if you were meant to be together, you WOULD be together. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who doesn’t think you’re their type? You deserve someone who loves and wants YOU. If you are not what they are looking for, you guys probably have different values and expectations, and aren’t an especially good match anyway.
5) Realize that you deserve better. You deserve a good match with someone who shares your values and wants you. You deserve someone who doesn’t do pain in the ass things (see #2), who your friends like (#3), and who wants YOU (see #4). You don’t have to settle for less than you deserve. You can have better.
6) Realize that you don't HAVE to be part of a couple to be a worthwhile person. You are wonderful all by yourself, thankyouverymuch, and you are quite capable of taking care of yourself. You don't need no stinkin' SO. You may want one, but you'll survive without one.
7) Realize that you’re single, and hence, FREE! No more getting dirty looks at parties when you dance with another girl, no more buying stupid flowers to apologize for something. You’re FREEEEEEEE! (Fly like an eagle, to the sea!) You can go kiss whoever you want, stay out as late as you want, and do whatever you like without checking in with your SO. Want to go to the movies with a friend of the opposite sex? Fine! Want to flirt with that hot guy in your math class? Go for it! Don’t want to go dancing at the club? You got it! Want to hang out at home wearing old dirty sweatpants watching a football game with the boys? Cool! You don’t HAVE to dress up for anyone, because you’re free!
8) Develop a crush on someone else. Better yet, make out with someone else. This gives you something to think about other than your ex. Hey, there ARE other people of the opposite sex out there! And some of them may be more attractive than your ex. AND if you make out with them, it’s a whole lot of fun, plus you can imagine them sitting all alone with their loser selves while you tap that ass.
Hopefully, somewhere along this road, you’ll get over your ex. It may take a while. It may be painful. But you can do it. And of course, we at therfs are always here to help.
I TAKE NO CREDIT FOR THIS POST.
I totally refrain from demeaning people no matter what. That's why I don't agree with the approach Lionos posted. I respect anyone who prefers that way but personally I don't like it. Maybe I'm being naive, which is very likely, but at least I'm aware of it.
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