I just don't know... - Love Forum

Rach · #1 (**permalink**) 07-04-04, 11:43 PM

Ok, here goes...I was with this guy for like 2 years. Everything was perfect, then one day some other woman calls me to tlel me she's going out with him. Well...I was furious. Who wouldn't be?! But then I just let it go, I figured he wasn't worth my fight if he could do that to me. BUT, like 3 mos. later all his friends are asking ME why I broke up with HIM! I was soo confused! I Later found out there never was another woman. So then my ex starts talking to me again and wanting to know if we can hang out, we'll hang out and then he'll say he'd rather be with so and so....when there really is never anyone else. So, this on and off "friends" stuff has been going on for like 8 mos. now. I just don't know why he has to say there's all these other women when there's really not!? Anyone have any thoughts on this? I am thoroughly confused!

jerzygrl · #2 (**permalink**) 08-04-04, 12:19 AM

Yikes. Same thing happened to my best friend. Although, the girl didnt actually call her-- the girl told one of our other friends. My best friend freaked out and got in a huge fight with her b/f then found out none of it was true.

I've come to realize that you really need to trust your instincts, your relationship, and your man. I would hope that one could trust their mate more than they would trust someone they didnt even know. If there is any suspicion-- before you freak out get more info from the "other woman" -- when, where, how long-- get the details so that you can be sure. Keep the lines of communication wide open-- hear him out and see how what he says. Stay cautious.

As for your current situation-- do you want to be with him again? Why should he want to be with you again? You accused him, didn't trust him, and broke his heart. While he may be trying to get back into you, he may be able to forgive you but im doubtful that he will forget. He will always remember how you distrusted him, and so will you. He's probably the one with the trust problem now...

Is it worth it? if not, then let it go....

And as ur quote goes "Never regret something from your past, everything happens for a reason."

Rach · #3 (**permalink**) 08-04-04, 04:10 AM

Thanks, but it'snot so much me not trusting him, I asked him about it all and he said it wasll true...then I only found out it was false a few months afterwards. His friends told me he was making it all up. That's why I'm soo confused! Why is he making it all up?!

sfalexi · #4 (**permalink**) 08-04-04, 04:21 AM

Quote:

Thanks, but it'snot so much me not trusting him

Yes it is. You dumped him before even knowing. You got a random phonecall from "some other woman" who calimed to be dating him, and you dropped him like a hot potato. I think it's very much you not trusting him.

Quote:

I asked him about it all and he said it wasll true...then I only found out it was false a few months afterwards.

What are you talking about here? Are you talking about the FIRST time the girl called that he said he WAS seeing another woman? Or are you talking about him seeing other women right now and THAT being a lie? I'm confused now too.

Either way, it looks like he doesn't want to get back together with you. Otherwise he wouldn't make excuses as to why not to.

Alexi

Rach · #5 (**permalink**) 08-04-04, 04:28 AM

First off...i don't want to get back with him...he keeps telling me he wants to get back togther. I want to know why he feels he has to lie about all these "girls" he's with! The first time that girl called, I talked to him and he said yea I'm with her, sorry...so I didn't dump him before I had his side of the story. His freinds were the ones that told me he was lying to me about all the girls.

I just wanted to know if there was anyone taht went through something similar and could tell me what the the reason behind the madness is here. Casue it's just so confusing to me why he is still doing all this.

jjhung · #6 (**permalink**) 12-04-04, 02:50 AM

Rach, do you really don't want him back? are you hurting and just want closure to move on? or are you emotionally okay, but just curious?

unless he is willing to be honest, I don't think you will get anything out of him. do you think you can just move on and cut off all contacts with him and forget about him? and take this as a lesson you learned to handle these kind of situation properly in the future (hope that will never happen again) and only deal with him when you are calm and can think rationally?

I learned from my current relationship that you need to talk to your b/f when you are calm. Then both of you can discuss things openly without those emotions setting the wrong tone to begin with.

Hey, may be he is mentally ill and like to play this kind of sick game to make his women insecure. Or may be he just want to break up with you but instead of saying it, just have someone help him out and let you do the breaking up.

bluesummer · #7 (**permalink**) 12-04-04, 03:21 PM

Well, for one, you must have heard of the age-old tactic of some girl who wants some guy who already has a girlfriend, so she finds out the gf's # and calls and says "I slept with your man!" to get them to break up. I mean, isnt that on Jerry Springer all the time?

Who knows.. As for him hanging out with you and talking about imaginary girls, well, it seems to me like he just wants to make you jealous. Just wants to see what your reaction to that would be......some people get their kicks off of messing with peoples emotions, which is sick.

Rach · #8 (**permalink**) 12-04-04, 11:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jjhung
Rach, do you really don't want him back? are you hurting and just want closure to move on? or are you emotionally okay, but just curious?

I'm ok with it all he's history as far as I'm concerned, he just recently started talking to me again, and I was more curious I guess.

And thanks for the reply's everyone!

IceQueen · #9 (**permalink**) 18-04-04, 12:14 PM

Nah, I wouldn't go for it. Definitely. Especially since you don't trust him.