is she using me now?

[carl1982]

Me and my girlfriend broke up a month and a half ago because of the stupid simple lies i told and she havent called me in quite a while until a few days ago to help her move and i went on and helped her. So afther i finished helping her I asked her if she would consider getting back together with me in the future and she told me yeah but i have to get my life stable before she can consider, so i accepted it but the day afther i asked her to tell me honestly that me and her willl never be as one again and she replied by saying that she never said that we want be together. So my hopes are really high now and im praying for the day we get together and all but on the other hand i think shes trying to keep me around for when she needs me because she still doesnt call me but when i called her two days afther we moved she picked up and all but she rushes off the phone, so i dont know what to think, what do yall think her motives are?

[1averagejoe]

Uhh...she sounds like she doesn't quite trust you anymore. I wouldn't get my hopes up.

What did you lie about?

[carl1982]

i lied to her about having money in a safe in my house(knowing i didnt), i lied about going to the barbershop knowing i was still at home, i led about being on the ph with my cuz knowing it was another chick(this was the 1st lie), i lied about being in school last semester knowing i droped my class early on, and last i lied about having 1 class left to graduate knowing i have 7 more to go, which im pursuing this upcoming semster. I think about why i told those lies everyday and i just want to just slap myself because i didnt have to tell them and I ask for GOD to forgive me for hurting her because im hurting now and i just wish that she would let me back io in because I love her soooooo much. Since she brought those lies to my attention i dont even fix my lips to lie to anyone anymore because its not worth hurting anyoneelse feelings.

[FoxyLaydee]

Those were too many lies you told her - lies are still lies, no matter how small they are. It's not easy to gain someone's trust again and if I were you, I'd buck up and at the same time.. move on.

[MadKat]

Lesson learned...



Next time, tell a better lies!

[Mishanya]

She's probably wondering about how she will be able to trust you if the two of you get back together

[1averagejoe]

Lies are lies...some are bigger then others. But they all add up and eventually will break that trust. I think Mishanya is right, she's probably wondering how she'll be able to trust you.

People forgive, but they don't forget.

[littlewing]

You can still try to gain her trust, look up opportunities to do so. Telling her you wouldn't lie again isn't gonna help...

Always be honest from now one, it's not too hard...

[carl1982]

do yall think that helping her move was one way of helping her trust me again? I know I still have ways to go but i was just wandering.

[GodsRose]

Carl, What are your motives? Also what have you lied about? I'm wondering what your motives are, because only giving this girl 2 days is not giving either one of you enough time. Giving someone time is like giving the person a break for a few months. If you know your faults then you need to work on being honest with a woman. This ex-girlfriend never promised anything to you and you need to slow down before you get your hopes up. Keep praying and start being honest with the people that you have around you right now. Give the ex-girlfriend a break and don't call her all of the time. Instead take this time of singleness to focus on your personal relationship with God. Don't be consumed with the ex-girlfriend. Instead keep praying about this and give it time. Focus on your goals and allow the Lord to work with you being honest. Their's nothing wrong with helping your ex-girlfriend move,but don't expect to get back together with her if thats the only reason why you helped her. Check your motives, because it takes two. I think that your ex-girlfriend wants some time apart from you and maybe thats why shes rushing to get off of the phone with you because she does not want to give you any false hopes. Don't nag her and don't bother her, because if you keep calling her and expecting things to happen, than your not trusting the Lord and your not giving her time. What are your motives? I hope that I have helped you some. Take Care and God Bless You, Rose

Quote:

Originally Posted by carl1982

Me and my girlfriend broke up a month and a half ago because of the stupid simple lies i told and she havent called me in quite a while until a few days ago to help her move and i went on and helped her. So afther i finished helping her I asked her if she would consider getting back together with me in the future and she told me yeah but i have to get my life stable before she can consider, so i accepted it but the day afther i asked her to tell me honestly that me and her willl never be as one again and she replied by saying that she never said that we want be together. So my hopes are really high now and im praying for the day we get together and all but on the other hand i think shes trying to keep me around for when she needs me because she still doesnt call me but when i called her two days afther we moved she picked up and all but she rushes off the phone, so i dont know what to think, what do yall think her motives are?

[carl1982]

My motives are to try to improve withinmyself and stop being so self centered because a lot of people tell me that i talk about myself alot and that i sometimes seem confused within myself, which i am because this isnt a good period in my life right now. Im trying very hard to work on being honest and improving myself by praying everyday and getting out to work when its time. Its just taking time and i need to be patient. Oh and the few post above would tell you why i lied and what i lied about. Thnks for the advice everyone.

[Mishanya]

Quote:

Originally Posted by carl1982

do yall think that helping her move was one way of helping her trust me again? I know I still have ways to go but i was just wandering.

Perhaps

But I think if you really want to win her trust, you will have to make a change within yourself. You will have to become trustworthy. This will be the hardest for you to achieve because you will basicly need to find out what makes you lie, what underlying reasons are there that make you do this and then find a way to eliminate this flaw once and for all. This will be incredibly difficult (Perhaps even impossible), but once you are at this level you won't need to convince anybody of anything. People will trust you because you are trustworthy. The way you are, your personality and your actions will radiate it and others will trust you because of it.

In short, don't do things that will convince her to trust you, make her trust you because your words are truthful, make them truthful. Keep your words and keep your promises.

[lovecot]

One lie is too many especially in male/female relationship. I'm sure You know this by now. It is sometimes difficult to understand what women is thinking. I guess she is still assessing the situation now. You may still have chance depends on how much she loves you. Leave her alone for the time being. If I were you, I will call her may be once a week just to "keep in touch".

By the way, how long have the 2 of you been together?

[carl1982]

We were together for 6 mths before we broke up and i talked with her yesterday and I told her that whenver she needs me ill be there for her, which i really hope i didnt go to far by telling her that because i was only trying to be nice.