Suggestions on past breakup. First post - Love Forum

quamen · #1 (**permalink**) 17-03-08, 11:01 AM

I appreciate any kind of feedback you guys gave give me in order to help myself through this. Im 26 years old, and have dated many girls in the past or just went out on dates. About 3 years ago, i dated this girl who i was crazy about, but kinda blew her off alot. I was really busy starting a business up, and kinda pushed her away in order to succeed. She was so loyal to me, cared about me so much, and stayed with me for over a year of the emotional abuse i gave her. I took for granted how much she loved me and appreciated me. She ended up cheating on me one night, but i wasn't upset, because i deserved it and we broke up. Even though we said we were seeing each other, i basically never really made time for her, so i realized this would happen.

After the breakout, i continued to date people and have a good time, but always kept thinking about her. Not one girl i have met, came close to being what she was. I love her and cant get her out of my head, and i don't know why. I never get caught up on a girl ,but this one i think about everyday. I try not to, but she keeps coming back up in my head, and how much i really cared about her. I don't know what to do about this? I know she is most likely dating someone, but how can i stop having this strong feelings for her? She was my a major part of my life, and i regret everything i did and would do anything to have her back. It has been such a long time to, but i still think about her. I think it also effects me dating new girls cause they never compare to what we had when we were together.

blues414 · #2 (**permalink**) 19-03-08, 12:10 AM

do you know how she feels? is there a way you can contact her to see how she's doing, and try find a way to ask her if she might feel the same way? cheating is a big no-no though...how do you know if you could trust her?

MadKat · #3 (**permalink**) 19-03-08, 02:53 PM

don't compare, love 'em as they are!

bluesummer · #4 (**permalink**) 20-03-08, 07:14 AM

Honestly, if you treated her bad enough that she cheated on you, she's probably not in a position where she wants to take you back. Has she ever contacted you and expressed her desire to get back together, possibly? If the answer is no, then she has likely moved on.

Unfortunately I know of a few guys in your situation. Screw things up with the best thing they ever had and don't realize it until later. I've not yet seen one of these guys get their ex gf back. Mostly because after you break up, the girl will usually realize how much better her life is without you. No offense.

All you can do in this situation is learn from your mistakes. If you're a good guy, you'll meet another nice girl at some point. When you do, just remind yourself of all the things you did to mess up the last one, and don't do it again.

quamen · #5 (**permalink**) 20-03-08, 10:33 AM

she did express her desire for weeks to get back together,but i was so upset when we first broke up that i blew her off. I dont want to contact her, cause i know she has a bf, and dont want to upset her in anyway. Maybe cause it was my first real love, i dont know. I know that i never had that connection again with any girl, and just the way she looked at me, she had so much love in her eyes as i did the same.

I dont know how she feels,and i know cheating is a big no no, but that is the only girl i wouldn't blame it on. I treated her like just a friend, blew her off alot etc, cause i was starting my business up and was only concerned with that. She stayed through the torture for a long time, giving me chances to change my ways, but never did.

IndiReloaded · #6 (**permalink**) 20-03-08, 03:05 PM

Contact her for some closure. A phone call to say hello, see how things go. If she's game, perhaps a lunch 'for old times sake' to let her know some of your thoughts about regretting your mistakes about how you treated each other. But don't get to mushy & don't expect too much. Be sincere, whatever you do.