Am I making a mistake?

[Bells123]

Ok, I was going to describe my entire situation but then realised that it'd be too hard for anyone to actually understand...

My simple question is this:

Do I follow my mind or my heart?

Essentially I know me and this girl are perfect together. She did something to hurt me, enough for me to tell her nothing could happen between us. However, she is a changed person now (like I said I would explain but it's very long) and I think she only understands now how much she actually likes me.

I know this is a brief and cryptic explanation/question, but if anyone can help it's be great. Thanks

[vashti]

If you aren't going to tell us what she did, how can we advise you whether or not you should forgive her?

The only thing I can say is that if you deemed whatever it was serious enough to say you could never forgive her, then I'd be careful about having a relationship with her. It would be grossly unfair to subject her to your resentment about it for the rest of her life if she is genuinely remoreseful.

[jenifer]

My suggestion is follow your mind, Being a girl i know how girls are, so. It would be better for you to follow your mind :")

[Bells123]

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti

If you aren't going to tell us what she did, how can we advise you whether or not you should forgive her?

Ok, I'll give it a go. By the way I'm a student in Halls at the moment so everything is quite fast paced.

Basically she was 'into' two guys, one being myself, and the other being a guy she had a weird history of ons and offs with. A few weeks ago she told me that she'd realised that I was the one she liked more, and said she'd end any further potential with the other guy (which she did). From there we were getting really close.

Then a few days ago she told me that she liked the other guy again. I was quite mad, and walked out mid-conversation. I didn't speak to her for a day, ignoring texts/calls. I spoke to her the other day, and basically said that I couldn't hack the indecisivness and that I didn't want anything to do with her.

This basically destroyed her. She is staying in her room and is hardly talking to anyone.


Ok here is the important lowdown:

She has never been in a serious relationship before and in my opinion hasn't understood what true feelings are until now. She told me that she had never felt like this before, and that it felt nothing like when she'd 'ended' anything with the other guy. She said that it was the most important conversation she'd had in her life. She was crying which she tells me she has very rarely done with another in the room.

The annoying thing is that I still like her as much as I've always done, which I didn't think I would (my heart speaking).

This is still a rubbish description, I'm sorry, I'm in a bit of a mess.

[vashti]

This sounds like normal, healthy competition to me. It is hardly unforgiveable, in my opinion, and in fact should be expected at your age.

However, if she continues to be a drama queen with her indecisiveness, I'd call it off.

[Bells123]

What would be your advice in terms of what to do next? She's probably given up any hope of us being together. Do I tell her straight how I actually feel, or perhaps ask her if she thinks I'm making a mistake?

[vashti]

Why don't you just tell her what's on your mind?... that you want to date her, but are unwilling to share with another guy, and if she can agree to those terms, you are willing to give it a go?

[blues414]

give her a chance :-) if your heart tells you to do so, follow your heart :-)

[Gribble]

Always follow your mind. Your heart is a muscle that pumps blood. So if you follow that you'll probably just flop around like you're mentally handicapped.

Also, emotions are for sheep and children. If you let your emotions control you, despite what happy-go-lucky Oprah faggots will tell you, you'll be miserable.

What does your mind tell you? Does it tell you to trust this woman? Yes, no? Set aside your emotions and make a rational decision. Don't be stupid.