Anyone can share emotions in my bad ending love story? - Love Forum

zorzioule · #1 (**permalink**) 13-04-04, 02:52 AM

Until that day a year and a half ago, I was in a super intense relationship with a girl. I broke up with her because I needed time for myself, and I was in a "reason" part of my life where feelings were overshadowed by thinking too much... so for the first couple of months I thought I had made a good move...

Problem is, I still loved her when I left her... and I still love her now.

In the meanwhile, I learned to feel again and I realized that getting back with her, the only girl I have ever loved in the 20 years of my life, and certainly the only girl I will ever love, would be my greatest dream ever... but after a year and a half, I had little hope...

So I saw her anyway this weekend... and... she seems to really love her current boyfriend... which was pretty much as I thought... but since we were so close, I told her anyway about my feelings for her that are still so intense...

So it's lost... she loves him... but I love her...

Now, my current state of mind is the worst hell I have ever known... a deep mix of total loss of self-confidence, and loss of hope of ever feeling well again...

I went out with her for a year and a half... she loved me so much too, I can't believe that this is the end... now she's been for 8 months with her new guy, a very nice guy, I talked with him a bit, and he'll surely take care of her as well as I did...

Maybe she will break up with him someday, and come back with me? She knows that I love her more than anything else, so if ever things went wrong with her new boyfriend... she knows my feelings...

But maybe not, and maybe I'll remain unhappy, and emotionnally destroyed and unsatisfied for the remainder of my life...

This is a weird story no? A guy leaving a girl behind, and ending up to be the sad one...

PandaCivic · #2 (**permalink**) 13-04-04, 03:07 AM

ya homie, you screwed urself. why did you leave her anyways? i did that mistake once, i broke up with a girl because i felt she didn't love me as much as i loved her, luckily i told her how i felt and we got back together, but then it was because i was feeling alone and she the same. don't act on impulse when ur in a relationship, take time to realize what you will be living without.

squirrley · #3 (**permalink**) 13-04-04, 05:13 AM

sometimes people need time to evaluate their life or their feelings. You took that time, its not wrong that you do it. But she moved on which really was the best thing for her. Did you expect her to sit around and wait?

You should be happy for her. I bet its more jealousy at this point for you than anything. But honestly youre young enough that you will get through the pain in time, and you will see you will be able to love someone else down the road. You wont forget her-shes your first love. But dont block or shut down yourself because this didnt work for you the way you had hoped. Take some time and do the healing thing...but always move forward.

Someday youll look back and be grateful for the time you had with her, and know that it was for the best. I wouldnt keep the hope alive. You have to accept what has happened. If you allow yourself to keep thinking ok someday she'll end up breaking up with him and come back to me-youre setting yourself up for a huge fall. If you go on with life...new girlfriend down the road or whatever...just moving on...you'll become stronger. But hanging on to it will make you weak.

Do what you can to find the strength within yourself to become an individual of character and be proud of yourself and what you had brought to her life. Feel good about the great things that happened.

Keep your eyes looking ahead...dont look back....and one day...just one day when you do look back...you'll see just how far youve come.

zorzioule · #4 (**permalink**) 14-04-04, 04:01 PM

Thanks a lot squirrley...

Things are getting clearer in my heart thanks to my efforts, my friends, parents, "her", and you. You nailed it all I guess, except that I'm not jealous at all, just sad.

I'll deal with the pain, be grateful, proud of the good things, and move forward...

And I am happy for her... that, I told her, too!

And yeah, Panda too, you're right. I did screw myself!

sfalexi · #5 (**permalink**) 14-04-04, 11:31 PM

Quote:

the only girl I have ever loved in the 20 years of my life, and certainly the only girl I will ever love,

Wrong. You have a capacity to love many people. Yes, maybe you did love her. And maybe you love her still. However now you can't do anything about it, and given time and space away from her this love will fade slowly but surely and you'll be able to love another. "Who" that other person is an entirely different question, that you can't see the answer to right now.

You'll learn to draw from your mistakes in this relationship and try not to repeat them in the next. You'll learn to cherish the time you had and remember it always as a thing of the past (although memories too, regrettebly, fade). Time to pick up and move on. Such is life. You make a mistake, learn from it, and try not to repeat it. Sometimes you learn from other people's mistakes (my FAVORITE way to learn), and sometimes it turns out to be your OWN mistake (not quite my favorite).

Dont worry about it. Go out with friends, don't worry about getting back into the dating game until you're ready too. Eventually some girl will dazzle you and you'll be ready and willing to start dating again. In the meantime, take a breather and enjoy the OTHER aspects of life.

Alexi

zorzioule · #6 (**permalink**) 15-04-04, 12:32 AM

Yeah... I guess you're right... I guess I'll be able to meet someone else and even, end up loving someone else... And as of the other aspects of life, I have already started to cherish them more than ever... I can eat 3 meals a day, I'm not sick, or blind, or deaf! I'm young, and I have many other reasons to be happy, too. So, I shouldn't make a prick out of myself and let this love story take over me.

Regrettably, memories fade... this is so true... and SO sad... but oh well...

Hey, my name is Alexis too! Except mine has an "s"

sfalexi · #7 (**permalink**) 15-04-04, 12:41 AM

Mine used to have an "s" at the end until I was about four years old. Then my parents had it legally changed by dropping the "s". They wanted to avoid any future problems I might run into in grade school with the whole, "You have a girl's name" thing.

Alexi(s)

bluesummer · #8 (**permalink**) 15-04-04, 03:56 AM

Damn, I wish my ex could read this post and realize the consequences of his own retarded actions. Ah, but he will!

squirrley · #9 (**permalink**) 16-04-04, 07:23 AM

You'll be fine young whipper snapper!!!!

You will love again and this time you'll have more to bring with you! You did the right thing for yourself at the time-remember that always, thats what makes you a strong person. Knowing yourself.

It is always "sad" when things dont work out the way you had hoped...but theres always a reason, and another door opens.

Goodluck to you!!

IceQueen · #10 (**permalink**) 18-04-04, 11:06 AM

1. List the qualities you didn't like about her.
2. List what you didn't like about that relationship, and what made you try to get some space for yourself.