5 Years and cheated! - Love Forum

Ross22 · #1 (**permalink**) 05-04-08, 05:09 AM

I thought i would just share my story to those who are out there. Ive been in a relationship with this girl for a lil more than 5 years. I have never loved anyone so much in my life. In our last few months together things weren't going so good. Its almost as if we grew apart. She got this new friend that all she wanted to do was go to bars and hookup with random guys she met. An my xgirl has never been about that. SO i would always get upset that she would continue to put her self in bad situations. She started to lie about things she was doing and who she was with. To make a long story short she took a lil trip with her slutty friend to another area and hooked up with some guy. So she came back into town and pretended nothing was wrong. Then she tells me shes going back out of town again with her friend. (she claimed she was going to a baseball game). Well she wasn't, she went back to sleep with him again. Im not just heart broken, My heart is shredded. I have been so loyal to her and our relationship. Ive turned down many other girls and never put myself in the position to make a mistake. I know some people might say well at least she admitted it to you. Well she didnt i kind of went through her phone and found some text messages. But before i went through her phone we already were broken up. she broke up with me when she came back into town for the second time. An we got together 1 night for dinner and i seen the text messages and confronted her. She says it doesn't matter now, were not together. Well were not, but we were when she did it. Im so angry but yet so sad. To know the one you thought was the "ONE" for you, isn't. That's the real pain. To make matters worst this happened yeasterday when i found all this out. Well the significance of yeasterday it was my birthday

tryingtoforget · #2 (**permalink**) 05-04-08, 05:21 AM

yuck. It hurts, I know. I had a similar experience about six months ago, I was with my bf for five years and found him in bed with his new girlfriend(they had been dating for months under my nose).
I felt horrible, heart shredded, the whole bit. But I feel so so much better now.
Truth is, our relationship had not been as good as it once was, like yours, and now I am free to find someone who will respect and love me...and be honest. It feels great.
So take heart in knowing that in a few months, it won't feel quite so awful, as long as you refrain from any contact, which is tough.
I did it by marking off the days on a calendar with a happy face, one smile for every day I didn't text or call or see him.
Childish, I know, but it worked.
It gets better, I promise.
You didn't deserve it, but next time, you'll meet someone worthy.

bluesummer · #3 (**permalink**) 05-04-08, 05:50 AM

No offense, but this girl sounds like a mega b*tch. Be glad she's gone. You deserve someone who knows how to appreciate love and loyalty, and most importantly, respect.

It's going to hurt for awhile, but pretty soon that hurt will turn to anger when you really realize what this person has done to you, and you won't feel sad anymore. It's too bad that you were together so long and she had to go and do this. Just don't let it make you bitter.

GrkScorp · #4 (**permalink**) 05-04-08, 06:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ross22

Well the significance of yeasterday it was my birthday

Woah.. talk about being very lady-like and classy..

I'll tell you what.. the best way to look at this.. the most positive take on it.. is.., that you just enjoyed the services of a free hooker..

I'd go into the reasons for this.. but it doesn't really matter does it? No.. not really..., all that matters.. like Blue said.. is that you actually got off easy.. she let you down pretty hard.. but you got off easy..

It may hurt a little.. but pain is just weakness leaving the body..

You can be a glass is half empty type of guy.. or a glass is half full type of guy.. it's up to you.. I'm personally a "glass is simply twice as big as it needs to be" type of guy..

Best,

GrkScorp

danhowe04 · #5 (**permalink**) 05-04-08, 08:48 AM

Wow, I just went through almost the EXACT same situation (except my ex didn't actually get to the point of hooking up with the guy before i found shit in HER cell phone) , and I think you have to not dwell on it. The only thing I can think to do would be to not contact her for awhile. Make sure to keep some self-respect too: don't blame yourself until you look at her very objectively, and look at why you thought she was the one. Chances are you'll see that this isn't as bad as it could've been, and it's WAY better that you found out than if she told you after another year of this, or way down the road when you're married with kids.

Illusional · #6 (**permalink**) 05-04-08, 10:06 AM

ross... so now that you have found our your ex cheated on you. who gives a f*ck, really?? she's your ex and yes you still might care for her, but the truth is that she DOESN'T care for you so you should stop your wishful thinking and move on. get over it while you're still young and party it up.

raverboy

BigCeege · #7 (**permalink**) 05-04-08, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ross22

I thought i would just share my story to those who are out there. Ive been in a relationship with this girl for a lil more than 5 years. I have never loved anyone so much in my life. In our last few months together things weren't going so good. Its almost as if we grew apart. She got this new friend that all she wanted to do was go to bars and hookup with random guys she met. An my xgirl has never been about that. SO i would always get upset that she would continue to put her self in bad situations. She started to lie about things she was doing and who she was with. To make a long story short she took a lil trip with her slutty friend to another area and hooked up with some guy. So she came back into town and pretended nothing was wrong. Then she tells me shes going back out of town again with her friend. (she claimed she was going to a baseball game). Well she wasn't, she went back to sleep with him again. Im not just heart broken, My heart is shredded. I have been so loyal to her and our relationship. Ive turned down many other girls and never put myself in the position to make a mistake. I know some people might say well at least she admitted it to you. Well she didnt i kind of went through her phone and found some text messages. But before i went through her phone we already were broken up. she broke up with me when she came back into town for the second time. An we got together 1 night for dinner and i seen the text messages and confronted her. She says it doesn't matter now, were not together. Well were not, but we were when she did it. Im so angry but yet so sad. To know the one you thought was the "ONE" for you, isn't. That's the real pain. To make matters worst this happened yeasterday when i found all this out. Well the significance of yeasterday it was my birthday

Sorry to hear that man, I just got out of a relationship like that and it was exactly the same except we had been together for 2 years. It's a very hard thing to get over. Just don't let this break up break you apart as a man, I know it's tough but you need to be strong. I got over it but just decided that I wasn't going to let my X ruin my life. You're clearly better than her, and her cheating shows that.

Ross22 · #8 (**permalink**) 05-04-08, 10:34 PM

Thanks for the responses people. Yea she did me pretty dirty. The good thing about all this is that im able to have anger towards her. Im sad for what we had and lost, but im ****ing pissed at what she did.

It just sucks that i was with her for so long, i feel like i wasted 5 years of my life. Well my friends took me out last night to fat Tuesday's, I got pretty twisted. It sucks, i still was thinking about her and what she did. I know this is something that takes time to forget about and get over, but when you did everything with one person for so long, its difficult not be with this person.

Ive realized she is not the girl i want to be with and shes not the type of person i thought she was. i just hope ill be able to trust the next girl im with.

Tommy · #9 (**permalink**) 06-04-08, 02:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ross22

Thanks for the responses people. Yea she did me pretty dirty. The good thing about all this is that im able to have anger towards her. Im sad for what we had and lost, but im ****ing pissed at what she did.

It just sucks that i was with her for so long, i feel like i wasted 5 years of my life. Well my friends took me out last night to fat Tuesday's, I got pretty twisted. It sucks, i still was thinking about her and what she did. I know this is something that takes time to forget about and get over, but when you did everything with one person for so long, its difficult not be with this person.

Ive realized she is not the girl i want to be with and shes not the type of person i thought she was. i just hope ill be able to trust the next girl im with.

It's never a waste bro. It's a learning experience and out of everything i KNOW you learned alot. It also got you ready for the NEXT relationship down the road. You are so much more aware of "problems", "signs" and you also know how you DESEREVE to be treated. It gives you insight into who you truly are and who you truly want to be with....

Never think of it as a waste.

Ross22 · #10 (**permalink**) 06-04-08, 03:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tommy

It's never a waste bro. It's a learning experience and out of everything i KNOW you learned alot. It also got you ready for the NEXT relationship down the road. You are so much more aware of "problems", "signs" and you also know how you DESEREVE to be treated. It gives you insight into who you truly are and who you truly want to be with....

Never think of it as a waste.

You are so right, thanks man!