Loneliness

[luvispower]

i used to stick to my gf all the time. now we've broken up. im living alone, i have a few friends in uni, but i still feel lonely. since i knew my gf, she was the only 1 who can determine my mood - lonely, sad, happy, angry.

[Kromat]

Quote:

Originally Posted by littlewing

Can you define loneliness?

Do you think that we all should be at least a little lonely?

Is loneliness good or bad?

Guess I need a loving partner, losing one brought me here in the first place.
But then again I don't think that this is something that you just go out there
and find... is it normal to always feel a bit lonely?

Well, people need their space sometimes, and being lonely is only a state that you portray from not
opening up to people and showing who you really are. ( ex. Mood swings, avoid calls, stressing out )
You have to see where you are in life and determine where you would like to see yourself in the future.
If you seem lonely, then meet up with your friends and then let
them introduce you to others that might share your interests.
Lots of friends doesn't mean all that much, If your not close to any of them.
My number of friends aren't too high, but I prefer the quality over the quantity,
so I can express myself and really get to know someone better.
If I'm not going to see a certain person often, then I don't feel like that person should be part of my
life as much because I can't count on them yet, since the trust hasn't been proven between us two.

P.S. Don't treat loneliness as a bad thing, just give yourself some time to heal, and
when your ready, go and find what you want in life that your ready for currently.

[Off2College]

You could read existentialist philosophy, which would give you a new perspective on loneliness. Loneliness is what 50% of existentialist philosophy is. My favorites are Nietzsche's "Thus Spoke Zarathustra" and "Beyond Good and Evil" and Satre's "Existentialism & Humanism". Gao Xin Jiang's "Soul Mountain" is really good too, Nobel Prize winning book. Or actually, also watch Ingmar Bergman's "Wild Strawberries" if you want to see a great film instead.

That said, if you are 14, then you might have difficulties engaging with those texts. But also, if you are 14, you should not get too deep into existentialist philosophy. You'll be even more outcasted.

[IndiReloaded]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Off2College

You could read existentialist philosophy, which would give you a new perspective on loneliness. Loneliness is what 50% of existentialist philosophy is. My favorites are Nietzsche's "Thus Spoke Zarathustra" and "Beyond Good and Evil" and Satre's "Existentialism & Humanism". Gao Xin Jiang's "Soul Mountain" is really good too, Nobel Prize winning book. Or actually, also watch Ingmar Bergman's "Wild Strawberries" if you want to see a great film instead.

That said, if you are 14, then you might have difficulties engaging with those texts. But also, if you are 14, you should not get too deep into existentialist philosophy. You'll be even more outcasted.

This post made me laugh. "To make burgundy beef, first start with fresh, lean beef, cut into cubes, add potatoes, mushrooms & a nice red wine. Let simmer.... Wait! Your a vegetarian, oh nevermind." LOL.

[jinx343]

lilwing, we all need to feely lonely at times. it's healthy. but if it's become too much and has started to affect your personality, stop there.

i do believe happiness starts within ourselves. don't depend your happiness on other people. start knowing what you want and would really love to achieve to make yourself feel good.

don't go looking for something that is impossible to find at the moment. just learn to appreciate what you have right now. see the good things of each of your friend and how they will help you be a better person.

maybe you can't connect with them coz you have set expectations for them and you draw that line there when you thought they dont have it. maybe they also see you're not really trying to find that certain connection with them. most of all, maybe you're still in a different state of emotions and thinking at the moment that has to do with your losing your partner. you're looking for that connection you have had. come on now.. give your friends a chance to prove their value for you. i know it will take some time to really find that someone to connect with.. but at least start with one of them. don't pull yourself down deeper. enough being lonely already

[littlewing]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Off2College

You could read existentialist philosophy, which would give you a new perspective on loneliness. Loneliness is what 50% of existentialist philosophy is. My favorites are Nietzsche's "Thus Spoke Zarathustra" and "Beyond Good and Evil" and Satre's "Existentialism & Humanism". Gao Xin Jiang's "Soul Mountain" is really good too, Nobel Prize winning book. Or actually, also watch Ingmar Bergman's "Wild Strawberries" if you want to see a great film instead. .

Interesting I'll check it out. Guess I have kinda temporarily lost faith in others...

[mistamontiel]

It is normal to be lonely...we always need to be alone sometimes.

[lastwish]

Desert Places by Frost:

In a field I looked into going past,

And the ground almost covered smooth in snow,

But a few weeds and stubble showing last.The woods around it have it-it is theirs.

All animals are smothered in their lairs.

I am too absent-spirited to count;

The loneliness includes me unawares.And lonely as it is, that loneliness

Will be more lonely ere it will be less-

A blanker whiteness of benighted snow

With no expression, nothing to express.They cannot scare me with their empty spaces

Between stars-on stars where no human race is.

I have it in me so much nearer home

To scare myself with my own desert places.

[clearskies]

broke up with everyone, no friends , awful selfish family with old parents, what else cd i do else work and word hard? work or love ...is it unbalanced equation? either love or work .. i cd not do both together.

[Mishanya]

Quote:

Originally Posted by littlewing

Can you define loneliness?

Do you think that we all should be at least a little lonely?

Is loneliness good or bad?

To define loneliness:

1. affected with, characterized by, or causing a depressing feeling of being alone
2. destitute of sympathetic or friendly companionship
3. remote from places of human habitation; desolate;

In summary loneliness seems to have very negative characteristics. This is not about needing your personal space once in awhile, this is about feeling of depression brought on by isolation from community or contact with others. In this respect loneliness is definetly bad because it has a negative impact on a person's well being.

Though, this can be contrasted with "needing personal space and independence." Everybody needs space at some point in time. Needing space doesn't mean you are lonely.

Quote:

Originally Posted by littlewing

I have been feeling quite lonely lately. I have many friends, more than I ever had but I don't really think that I have much in common with these people. I always think that if I would get myself really buisy, If I would crash on my bed with exhaustion at the end of the day then I wouldn't think about it much... I could be very wrong

It sounds like you need to find new friends with which you have more in common. People who make you feel good about being yourself

Quote:

Originally Posted by littlewing

Guess I need a loving partner, loosing one brought me here in the first place. But then again I don't think that this is something that you just go out there and find... is it normal to always feel a bit lonely?

It's normal to "feel" lonely because feeling lonely, doesn't mean that you are lonely. As long as it's a short lived feeling that doesn't dominate your life, it's perfectly fine.

I'm not sure if a loving partner will be able to "rescue" you from this feeling though. You need to find a way to confront and defeat this within yourself before you find a partner. There will be other challenges to overcome once you find a partner, you really don't want these feelings to get in the way.

[Gribble]

You're born alone, you die alone, and in between you try to convince yourself that you're not alone.

[bohemiandonut]

When I'm alone I tend to sink or swim. Often I get tired of sinking so I swim real hard and it's nice for awhile I think I'm getting somewhere. But then I'll get tired of swimming and get a cold or something and have to wait and then I'll realize that I really did not get anywhere all too worthwhile so I decide to just sink again.

It's a sh*t pattern and one I would probably have less trouble with if my goals were more realistic or my perspective less so.

I have time for no one and no one has time for me.

[littlewing]

Quote:

Originally Posted by bohemiandonut

When I'm alone I tend to sink or swim. Often I get tired of sinking so I swim real hard and it's nice for awhile I think I'm getting somewhere. But then I'll get tired of swimming and get a cold or something and have to wait and then I'll realize that I really did not get anywhere all too worthwhile so I decide to just sink again.

It's a sh*t pattern and one I would probably have less trouble with if my goals were more realistic or my perspective less so.

I have time for no one and no one has time for me.

Really got me into thinking... thanks

[bohemiandonut]

Don't think littlewing. Thwim. Thwim for your life.