help me please :(

[no_more]

I don't know where to start. My english is not that great, but I will try.

I seriously don't know what to do. My girl broke up with me almost half year ago. I really liked her. She was actually the first girl I ever fell in love with. I never felt this much for anyone else. Normally when a relationship ends I can move on. Offcours I will be down for a while, but not this long. This has lasted for almost half year. I think about her everyday, it makes me sad. I cry so often and can't sleep at night. Some times I don't think about her for a couple weeks, but it always comes back on my mind. I tryed to move on. I did whatever I could. I met with other girls, dated new girls, etc. But nothing made me get her out of my mind. No girl I met ment something to me or felt something to me. Everyday I ask myself how long this is going to last. It makes me crazy. I can't take it anymore. After I lost her, I started losing everything else I had. I dropped out of college. I stopped working. I stopped training. I lost my motivation and will to go on. There is nothing left for me anymore. I waited for this girl my whole life, I can't let her go. I feel so lonely and lost. Sometimes I dream of her. It's sad, back then when I dreamed of her I always saw her face. But it's been so long now. I can't recall her face in my dreams anymore, but I always know it's her. I never contacted her anymore, till last night. I just couldn't sit around anymore. I wrote her a email and told her about my feelings. She has not replied to it and she probably won't either. I knew this would happen, but I had to try. The reason she broke up with me was that she believed that I didin't understand what she felt and what she had been through her last relationship. Yes it was obviously a hell for her. And yes a lot of things I couldn't understand back then, simple because I had not been through them as personal experience. But now I understand a lot of things she said. I am going through the same thing right now. So in the end we had some arguing going around for a couple weeks and she made such drama out of it. And later started ignoring me. I called her, mailed her and text her so many times. But she kept ignoring me. In the end I even went to her house wich is not close to anywhere here. I waited 3 hours for her there and she was home, but she never opend the door. Till today I still don't understand why she treated me like that. I never did anything to her. After that I went home and we never contacted each other again. Seriously what can I do anymore. I can't go on and I can't go back. I feel worthless, my life is a hell. I am thinking to call her tomorrow and ask if she read my mail. My last hope. It's strange usually I am the one helping my friends with there relationship problems. But now I really need someone to help me, so any input is welcome.

[vashti]

How long did you date her?

[no_more]

about 2 months

[vashti]

And you are still obsessed with her? Honestly, it sounds like you might need to get some professional help. This isn't about her anymore. It's about your refusal to let it go.

[no_more]

I don't know why i have become like this. I was never like this in relationships. I always went on, no problem. Obviously I still care about her, which makes me want to hold on her. I would never do things like that for someone that I didin't even care about. And like I said, I had lots of opportunities to continue and go on with someone else. But I couldn't. And for 2 months I know it sounds ridiculous to think like this. It's insane, but i spend so much time with her and she was really different from any girl i knew. So it's not just something i am refusing to let go.

[Illusional]

infatuation also causes people to "think" that they are in love when they just like the comfort and company of others.

raverboy

[salty]

I think you should let urself cool down abit before making anymore wrong steps.. You may call her to ask but be prepared that she will not answer any of ur call..gals can react cruelly when she just simply dun wish to have any contact with you.. from the way u describe, it seems like this is causing u to be very negative.. U need more frens ard u, try to know other frens widen ur circle and cool down 1st..try to talk to someone abt ur problems and it helps! I'm not sure what is it that she tinks u dun understd abt but if u rush into things, she may just find that u are still the same old u... Be positive and move on with ur life 1st =)

[Gigabitch]

Two months? You barely knew her. Your fixation on her is about YOU and some lack that you have in yourself, not anything she has to offer you. And let's get that straight, right off the bat: she has NOTHING to offer you. She broke up with you and your crazy ass is stalking her. Let's not mince words, here.

I can only imagine how scary it was to have you lurking outside her house for three hours.

You need to pull back from this and get some perspective, see yourself as others see you: you're a freaking nut job. You dated her briefly and decided to hang your entire existence on her- no wonder she wanted out- that's just too much pressure.

Your life fell apart because it was falling apart anyway, not because you lost her. You're a mess and you've decided to blame it on her, but it's not her fault- it's yours. It's completely unfair to her to decide that she's the cause of all your sorrows.

You need an intervention, NOW. You are deeply depressed and disturbed and your obsession with this girl is extremely unhealthy. You need professional help, not tomorrow, but today. Do you have any family around? Someone who could help?

[eleanor1967]

hey dude...first am sorry for wht you are going trough..if you need someone to talk to..am right here for you send me a private message...just to let you am having somehow the same problem that you have...girlfriend dumped me for her ex and i just can get her out of my mind

[javagirl87]

i can understand where you're coming from in the sense that even though the realtionship was short lived it was more meaningful than others ever have been that may have been way longer. sometimes people just do that, they CHANGE you, they affect your soul like others never could.

you will get over this with time...but you have to let yourself. it doens't matter how long it takes because either 1)one day it will just click and ou'll get over it or 2) it'll slowly go away with time.

it'll probably be accompanied by realizeing that other people out there are just as great as her even if in different ways. one day someone will exceed your expectations that this past girlfriend has made attain after dating her...and it's okay to have these expectations because relatioships are about learning what you want in one. we shuld always be raising our expectations (not excessively but just to the point where we finally know what we want in a realtionship).

just give it time...i know you have been...but maybe you should tell yourself this is the last time that you're going to contact her and it's kind of a bid farewell.

my advice for right now: get back into things. dropping out of school adn quitting everything you used to do is a very bad thing to do because these are the things that define your life, who you are and where you are going...and these are the things you can always turn to when people let you down. so you need to get these thigns back, even if they don't make you happy right now you will regret giving them up later and in time they will slowly become important to you again. trust me i know because this is what i've recentely been going through and still am...you jus thave to trudge with it and eventually everything will fall back into place again.

[eleanor1967]

hi dude..am first for you are going trough..i dont know if that can make you feel better but am gonna tell you my story anyway...here is what i was thinking about 3 days :


i really dont know where i should start all this....am writing this and my eyes full of tears...my life has really changed 2 weeks ago....i have been with my girlfriend for 5 months and after all what i did to her...she dumped me for her ex

i really feel like i wana just sleep and never wake up again....i spend the whole day thinking the nice moments that we shared...the moments when she asked me to swear to never let her down...to never betray or cheat on her...the moments when she used to ask how many children we gona have...the moments that she spent when she used to say that there is only me...that i was the one for her...that i was everything she wanted from this life...that she cant imagine herself having sex with someone else..that if i let her down, that she will never ever get along with someone else...that she found everything she wanted in me...and finally the moments when she used to say that she will love me forever..

we lived really wonderful moments..spend times that i wont forget...i really gave her all what i had..i made her a priority...all my life was based on me being with her..i did never refuse something to her...and was the nicest guy she can ever find...and after all that....she coldly dumped for me for her ex...i cant stop thinking of him and her...it sucks when i think that she now with her ex having fun...maybe sleeping together...her ex that she kept on saying that she hates...that all he cared about was having sex with her....that he didnt care enough about her..was not enough open minded...and cant imagine living with him for the rest of her life.

i just want this to stop...it has been 2 weeks now and am still crying as many tears as i did in the first day...still hurts bad as the same day...spend the whole day crying...am so sad and am living the sadest days of my life....never thought that she could do that to me. i really cant stop thinking if we gona be back together or not...of what am gona do without her...and when is she going to ask me back to be with her.

and more, she just coldly told me today that they decided to get engaged this summer because she loves him SO SO MUCH and nothing is gonna stop them from doing so.

and i have to see her everyday at school..sit next to her everyday in he school bus...i have to see her having fun with her friends...talking on the phone to her ex...and not even showing one sight of regret.

what did i do to deserve all this ? i cant believe that she is doing this to me..only 2 weeks of our breakup...i just wanna die guys

and here where i am today :

i broke up with my girlfriend 3 weeks ago..3 weeks of real pain...yesterday, i got the worst news of my life..and i dont know how, today was happiest day since our breakup...whenever memories tried to take over my mind...i just kept on saying no no...she is gone...thinking back of the nice moments that we shared wont change anything...i have o think of myself first...enjoy being single...anyway she didnt deserve even a bit of me...if she thinks i wasnt the right one for her..thousands of other girl would surely think i am...she made her decision and she had to deal with it..she is gonna regret it someday...she is gonna regret it someday...she is gonna regret it someday...and that day wil be the happiest day of my life.

hope that helps you too...say thanks to god anyway..thinks of what you have, not of what you dont have...

hope that helped you dude !!!
we will go over it..dont worry

[jinx343]

i'll say, you should be happy it didnt last long. though it hurts to always hear this line, dude, it just was not meant to be. 2 months was proof that you are not destined to stay even longer than that.. what do you expect for a lifetime?

here's something for you: look at all of us here.. we have no doubt been in that situation.. and we made it through. so give yourself worth and you will see in no time, you will be up and about.

you said you waited for this person your whole life... well, you did meet her but i bet she's not the right one you're really waiting for.. it's time to wake up with the reality of life. you cant hold on to and hold back people who dont want you in their life.

just wait some more.. maybe she's just around the bend... you just need to get your ass off and look around you you might miss her if you don't. then you will regret (lol)