| not over him... It's been about a month and half since my boyfriend of 4 years decided to move out/ break up. He says over and over that it isn't me, but that he needs to grow up and be able to support himself before we can get married and then support us. He should know it isn't about that- I have a college degree and don't plan on depending on him. But fact is, he does depend on me a lot. But were a little family, and family takes care of each other. I don't count on us getting back together. For my own sake, I just can't. I've been pysically ill over this, and still am. I still cry all the time. I'm miserable and have tried everything- getting out, meeting new people, losing myself in work-everything anyone could suggest. But nothing eases the pain. I could be surrounded by friends and still feel completly alone b/c he's not there- my family, my best friend, my partner- All lost in one person. As many times as he explains why he left, and no matter how many times he tells me loves me and that I "haven't lost him," it doesn't erase the fact that I hurt everyday. I haven't gotten over it and still hope he comes back. He's said he's wanted to come home several times, but then he would have failed b/c he hasn't done what he set out to do. How can struggling on your own be better? I guess its the male ego. But my little heart doesn't understand.  | 
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