| decided to end it Well. Tonight was the end. I can't take it anymore. For those of you who have followed my posts, things have been rocky this last month and all signs point to down with no chance of going back up. Tonight took the cake.
I've haven't seen her for 5 days. She calls me late tonight (10:20) and asks how I am. I'm actually sick at the moment so I tell her i'm not feeling well. We talk for awhile and then I say "I'm gonna let you go." she goes sharply "why?" and I say "I'm just going to rest and relax a little while." and she goes "Fine. Bye." and I could hear the coldness in her voice. A little while later I call and apologize for being rude and cutting her off explaining that I wasn't feeling so great tonight. She goes "Oh, that's ok, I was just on my way out." I'm thinking, 10:45 and you're leaving? So I mention that to her. She goes "I'm done with school, my curfew is midnight." I'm thinking: Ok, i'm not feeling that great and you're instead going out instead of wanting to see me after being gone for 5 days. Thanks. So I ask "Oh, where you off too?" and she goes "Out" I say "Yeah, but where you off too?" and she goes "I'm just going out ok?" I pause and say "Why can't you tell me where you're going, what's the deal?" and she goes "I'm going out with Pat ok?" (her ex she's "best friends" with for all those who don't know the story in a nutshell)
I go "Oh...have a nice time." and we hungup.
WTF?? She blows off a chance to spend time with me for her ex. Really f'n nice. How cold can you get? I've had enough. Supposedly she loves me, blah blah. I don't care anymore. I don't feel the same way towards her. I felt like she drove an icesicle into my chest when I heard his name. Damn! And it may or not be cheating behind my back but it sure doesn't feel like they're talking politics! And when I mentioned for her to be careful when she goes out to a dance club this weekend, she was like "why do I have to be careful?" I said "because guys will be grinding on you and such." she says "Yeah, that's how you dance there." I said "so that's ok to you? To let guys do that to you when you have a bf?" She goes "It's not that kind of grinding. It's just dancing." Yeah, lots of respect she's giving me.
So I've thought about how to do it. I know I can say "you've done this and that and acted like this and that and immature and callous and blah blah." Why give her the satisfaction of a reason? Why point the finger? I'm just going to tell her it's not working and we're done. If she asks why, just tell her that i'm not happy with things and it just hasn't worked out. I doubt it but if she asks to be friends, i'll be blunt but polite and say "I don't think that would be the best thing for both of us right now."
I'm feeling pretty low right now and down that an ex got priority over me. But of course this isn't this first time i've been shafted for an ex.
Any thoughts?
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