HOw can I fix this? Plz, I need help... - Love Forum

Metalhead6six6 · #1 (**permalink**) 21-06-04, 09:29 PM

My girlfriend of 8 months broke up with me today. She said she wants to go out and have fun without worrying what other ppl think. And she also said she needed to plan for her future. She claimed she wouldn't have time for me, and that she didn't want to hurt me in the end.

Yet, here I am, hurting in the end. I want her back, I really do. I understand why she did what she did, but I thought she knoew me. If she did, she would realize that I could help her in this. I don't know any more, someone just give me some advice, thanks.

MisINdpndT · #2 (**permalink**) 22-06-04, 12:13 AM

I know how you feel. I am in the same situation. Maybe she just wants to be free for a little while. All you can do is give her some space and just let her know that you are there for her. I know its soooo SO hard to think that they are not yours. I cry all the time knowing I lost the best person in my life. But all he wanted is to be free and thats what I'm letting him do. And he is still with me we still talk. Even though its not all the I love you's it use to be but you can tell they care for you. Just hang in there and try to stay busy as much as posiable. (I need to take my own advise here) Need anyone to talk to we have all been there and im in the middle of it. So you could PM me or prob anyone else on the bored.

nendo · #3 (**permalink**) 22-06-04, 12:29 AM

Quote:

She said she wants to go out and have fun without worrying what other ppl think.

mmm i don't know why but that sounds off to me. it kinda says shes ashamed in you in someway or another. maybe its just me i don't know. break up can be a very difficult thing i found out. i brock up with this person i had loved for like 2 years. well we only went out for about a month but i did love her before then. and then all of a sudden can we just be friends. the strange thing was that she would never hold ma hand or kiss me in public. i felt unwanted. after we bropck up she went of and got another bfriend. this upset me alot.

try giving her time and spce. if in the end she does get back together then great. if u don'tthen atleast try and keep in contact with her. i made the mistake of not and i regreet it now

sfalexi · #4 (**permalink**) 22-06-04, 12:44 AM

How old are you both? Your age, and what's hers?

Metalhead6six6 · #5 (**permalink**) 22-06-04, 12:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nendo

mmm i don't know why but that sounds off to me. it kinda says shes ashamed in you in someway or another.

It's not that, when i said that she wanted to go out without worrying what ppl will think, she means her family, because she's been hanging out with another guy for a while, and her family thinks shes more than friends with him. Which I know not to be true, sorry about that not being clear enough.

PandaCivic · #6 (**permalink**) 22-06-04, 12:47 AM

it's her way of telling you she lost interest in you. let her go. it hurts to let someone you "love" go but that just means you love them that much to release them from the anguish you caused them. if she comes back to you, it was true love from the beginning. let her find herself and find her faults. tell her that you're going to break up with her, and that you find her ugly but you don't mind having ugly friends. you need a pretty girlfriend, lets she if she crys or not. that way you know for sure if she can have fun "without worrying what other ppl think". then tell her to check her shoes cuz you smell bullshit.

nendo · #7 (**permalink**) 22-06-04, 12:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PandaCivic

it's her way of telling you she lost interest in you. let her go. it hurts to let someone you "love" go but that just means you love them that much to release them from the anguish you caused them. if she comes back to you, it was true love from the beginning. let her find herself and find her faults. tell her that you're going to break up with her, and that you find her ugly but you don't mind having ugly friends. you need a pretty girlfriend, lets she if she crys or not. that way you know for sure if she can have fun "without worrying what other ppl think". then tell her to check her shoes cuz you smell bullshit.

lol pls tell me ur joking bout that.

Quote:

It's not that, when i said that she wanted to go out without worrying what ppl will think, she means her family, because she's been hanging out with another guy for a while, and her family thinks shes more than friends with him. Which I know not to be true, sorry about that not being clear enough.

oh i see now.

PandaCivic · #8 (**permalink**) 22-06-04, 12:57 AM

i'm joking but i'm really not. she doesn't know she likes him?! puhlease!

Metalhead6six6 · #9 (**permalink**) 22-06-04, 01:52 AM

Thanks everyone, maybe this will turn out to be a fluke, maybe not. If it does, then it's all good, if it doesn't, I'll get over it. And by the way, I normally don't tell my age because then ppl answer my question judging my and her age, when all I want is an answer. But thanks all of you. More suggestions are welcome

sfalexi · #10 (**permalink**) 22-06-04, 05:29 AM

Quote:

And by the way, I normally don't tell my age because then ppl answer my question judging my and her age, when all I want is an answer.

However in a case like this, age could mean a great deal. If she's 17, perhaps she's thinking about going to college and wants the opportunity to flirt and go out in college. If YOU'RE 17, maybe she's recognized that YOU are going to be going to college and won't be around as much. Maybe she doesn't want to have a life of wanting and HOPING that you can get together on this night or that. If she's younger than that (such as a freshman in high school or something) maybe she doesn't want such a 'serious' relationship and wants to enjoy her high school years dating other guys and learning different things about short-term relationships. If she's older than you, maybe she's really saying it so that YOU can go around. Maybe she thinks that she's holding you back and wants YOU to be able to go around dating. Then again, maybe it IS regardless of age and she just ain't feelin' it anymore and wants to be 'free' once again.

So when we ask for age, it's so we can better assess the situation and hopefully give better advice. For instance, (an example I frequently use and one that frequently comes up), if you were to ask me, "Where do I meet women?" But didn't tell us your age. We might be listing places that you can't even GO to because of your age. We might say "Bars, clubs, singles dances, coed softball games, cafes, etc" and you might not be 21. Or even have a license. Or we may list things that a younger person can go to to meet women, "Clubs, concerts, house parties, frat parties, etc" and you might be 40. In which case these probably wouldn't help you out much either.

So don't worry about us judging just your ages. Because the smart ones on this board, don't. They USE the age to help tailor their response.

Rod Steele

Metalhead6six6 · #11 (**permalink**) 22-06-04, 10:14 AM

Okay, we're both fifteen

12 days apart

Metalhead6six6 · #12 (**permalink**) 22-06-04, 10:19 AM

sophomores now, by the way, and the reason i dont give age is because I hate responses like "Oh you're too young for that shit" you know, all those things.

RainbowKiss_83 · #13 (**permalink**) 22-06-04, 12:34 PM

I fell in love at 17. I don't think being in love requires you to be a certain age, but sometimes making smart decisions does. I learned that the hard way. You're just gonna have to wait and see what happens. And yes, waiting sucks worse than anything. Get used to it. You'll be waiting a lot in life. Especially at McDonald's. lol

I'm sure what you're going through hurts no matter how old you are. If she wants to be alone you have to let her be alone. It's heartbreaking, nut sometimes people need to see someone's heart breaking before they know in their own heart that the other person is seriously in love with them. That sounds very complicated. Get used to it. It only gets worse. Man, am I cheerful. lol

sfalexi · #14 (**permalink**) 22-06-04, 10:46 PM

In that case, Metalhead, I'm thinking that maybe she's just not ready for a serious relationship. I know you probably haven't picked out any china or curtains yourself, but to people your age, 8 months can seem like an ETERNITY!!!! 8 months to me is a very long time. But as a sophomore, and maybe someone who hasn't been in any long relationships, she just doesn't want to be TOO serious and feel "tied down" to you. Not to mention it's the summer. Maybe she wants to be able to go to the beach and flirt with guys without having a 'boyfriend' on her conscience.

Just speculating . . .

Rod Steele

Metalhead6six6 · #15 (**permalink**) 22-06-04, 10:48 PM

thanks, all of you