any way to get the ex back?

[brokenhearted33]

me and ex are in our early 20s, and from norcal.

me and my ex broke up 1 night ago. we left on good terms. We have so much fun together all the time and are physically close with each other. I make her laugh and she's said she's really comfortable with me.

Her reason for breaking up: we didnt have the right chemistry?

when she broke up with me, I was very understanding and we left things on fine terms. we're just friends now i guess. shes taking me on a shopping "date" next week, but only as friends.

i really want her back though, and I dont want to just move on with her.

so I've noticed people suggest to just close contact? If I do that, should I tell her sometime between now and our potential shopping get-together that I in fact do not want to see her any time soon? how should i explain myself? Do i say that I cant picture myself hanging out plutonically with her and explain to her how much i like her, or do i just become distant, coldly tell her i cant see her next week, and just wait it out?

any suggestions? i really want her back and i do not want to move on

[Frank Lee Blunt]

Hi brokenhearted33,

I do agree that no contact would be helpful, why is she taking you shopping just as friends a week after she broke up with you? Whether you go with her is up to you, but if she is serious about being just friends, you may be setting yourself up for further disappointment by getting your hopes up.

I would not be cold towards her, as far as being rude or anything like that. I would act like you are ok with the breakup and that everything is going great in your life. Go out with your friends, enjoy yourself.

Getting her back will not be an instant process, don't pressure her or even act interested in getting back together. Be friendly and confident when you see her.

Regards,

Frank

[brokenhearted33]

thanks a lot for the advice Frank.

[bluesummer]

Be aware that some girls can actually break up with you, assume that you're totally okay with it, and proceed to hang out with you like 'buddies' as if nothing happened........kind of like this whole shopping trip situation.

[Tigerfan]

How long did you two date? As hard as it might be, you might want to tell her again that you are ok with the breakup, but that you need space right now and that going shopping as friends would just complicate things. Go NC and let her feel the void of not having you around. I bet she'll miss you and come back around, espcially if you went out for a good length of time. Let us know what happens.

PS I'm in a similar situation, trying to go NC. It's hard as anything I've ever had to do in life.

[jtrias2002]

Just trust you're instinct give her space maybe she just need space and realize that you are worthy after all. Girl's sometimes is difficult to understand.

[LoveFish]

Sorry to hear what is going on. I know how it feels man but there is some hope. Yes you might be able to get your ex back!

The first, possibly most important, step to this is to break off contact for a bit. I don't mean you have to be rude and ignore her like a jerk but concentrate on yourself for a bit. You don't have to say bye forever but just take a couple weeks and do your own thing.

This will do two things:

1. Drive her a bit crazy. Just because she broke things off with YOU doesn't mean she is doesn't think about you. If she doesn't know what's going on in your life it will peak her curiosity. You will become mystery man and some girls dig that.

2. It allows you to live life for yourself and work on a positive life style. When my girl (of 5 years) broke up with me I started to focus on things I wanted to do when I was in the relationship but never had time for. For example for 12 years I stopped playing soccer and missed the sport so much. Once I broke up I strated getting back in shape and am now on 2 soccer leagues playing competatively.


I bet you that she ends up contacting you after a while and wants to hang out and that you might see a difference in her attitude. This worked for me. =)

-Alex