Completely crushed!

[Jen123]

This is the worst time of my life. My "ex" messed up every aspect of my life and right now I feel crippled..unable to anything. I still dont know where we stand now and when i ask him where we are in the relationship, he tells me "time will tell.." UGHHH!! It all started out by me dancing with him at a party and we hit it off right away. I started dating him few months later. I thought he was so perfect fore me. We've been together for over 3 years now. We got each other promise rings and even planned on getting married one day. Everything was going so well till a month ago. I didnt even see it coming. He all of a sudden started talking all serious. He'd hardly pick up my calls or reply back to my txts. When I confronted him about this, he told me things are not the same anymore and that he doesnt know if everythings going to work out between us. That nearly killed me. But he said he still loves me and cares for me. It sure doesnt seem that way. Now all he does is lie like no tomorrow and avoids me every way possible. I feel used and taken advantage of. In the past 3 years i cant remember spending a single day doing what I wanted to do. He was ALWAYS horny and wanted to have it every damn time we met. I thought he truly loved me so i didnt care about what we ended up doing. Now i realize that he never really took the time to get to know me as a person. I just cant believe this didnt hit me 3 years ago.

So now im completely lost and crushed. We didnt officially brake up. He has me on hold while hes trying to fingure things out. He calls me sometimes and tells me that he still loves me and thats about it. Everytime i start to talk about us he just finds something new to talk about. Its very clear to me now that it is not going to work out. I just dont know how im going to move on....

[lizzy_09]

He all of a sudden started talking all serious.

What do you mean? Can you be specific as to what serious discussion you talked about?

He'd hardly pick up my calls or reply back to my txts. When I confronted him about this, he told me things are not the same anymore and that he doesnt know if everythings going to work out between us.

He calls me sometimes and tells me that he still loves me and thats about it. Everytime i start to talk about us he just finds something new to talk about.

Some men often have second thoughts and they could never directly tell you he is about to dump you.

he said he still loves me and cares for me. It sure doesnt seem that way.

Now all he does is lie like no tomorrow and avoids me every way possible.

Neither tells you that you’re not his type for fear of confrontation. Men really try to avoid upsetting women. They fear rejection and prefer to take the easy way out.

We didnt officially brake up. He has me on hold while hes trying to fingure things out.

Jen124, even if you didn't officially break off. He wants you to make that decision for him cause he can't say that for himself. He'll feel like a jerk if he tells you that he's so not into you. You can't force him to love you even when that love he has for you is gone. Don't feel so bad about it.

When he treats you like he is about to dump you, one feels dehumanized and demoralized.

It can make one wonder if there is something you did that turned him off. Theirs absolutely nothing wrong with you. The truth is that you've just both grown into different directions in life. Nobody wants to be jilted. This only becomes a problem when we take it to heart.

It’s not uncommon for women to make up excuses about why guys appear to loose interest. It’s a natural defense mechanism which prevents us from being plagued by negative emotions. It is easier to make excuses then try to second–guess men then to actually admit he is not into you.

It doesn’t even matter when they don’t call, disappear, or ignore you. The truth is, he is about to dump you. We know it but we refuse to see it. We keep holding on to a relationship where there is none. So, stop wasting your time with him when you know he is about to dump you.

Once you acknowledge and accept that he is not that into you set yourself free and find who is meant for you.

Its very clear to me now that it is not going to work out. I just dont know how im going to move on....

Not to worry, you'll get through that.

[LoveFish]

This is not an uncommon situation really. I hate to point this out but if he did a sudden turn around on you and started acting like this out of no where maybe he has met another person? I don't say this to make you upset or feel worse but you should realize it is a possibility.

Whatever is going on he probably really does still love you. After a long term relationship like yours nobody can just stop their feelings on a dime.

It isn't fair for him to not give you closure and actually end the relationship. I would just do your own thing for a while. You said you can't remember spending a day doing a single thing you liked?

That isn't cool. A healthy relationship is one in which BOTH parties get to enjoy what they like out of life. Now is your time to be who you are and do the things YOU love to do.

My GF of 5 years broke up with me in Feb and after a long time of being super upset I realized I needed to take control and live my life. Now I am loving having time to do all the things I never was able to do before.

Hang in there! Now is a hard time for you but life will work things out. =)

[ripster]

sounds like he's been using you all this time and now there's someone else in his life. i feel it's only a matter of time before he breaks up with you, sooo....

my advice is to preemptively break up with him. that way, you at least go out with some dignity

[Gigabitch]

I think it would be better for your state of mind if you just end it now. You're not happy. You don't need to give him any other reason than that.