long distance help!!

[Jason29]

hello im a long time reader of these fourms but never got the courage to post but i have a BIG BIG problem my current girlfriend who i am madly in love with is going to away to college to south car. i am going to road island. its like a 18 hour drive to where she is. We've been together for over 9 months and shes had a crush on me (well i'd say more than a crush) the hole time we've been in the high school together. (with my luck i didn't notice till senoir year) but anyways i've talked with her about college and stuff like yeah we can call each other and things but i at the very most see her 4 times a YEAR for school breaks and 2 of those times are over a month. my gf isn't the tpye of girl to cheat and same with me my mind would go crazy if i even touched another girl (which is suppose a good thing in some ways). To be truthfull i do get jealous sometimes and yes ill have to just suck it up and deal with the fact that shes goign to be near other guys and stuff. My question is what are some things i can do to help the realtionship last through 4 years of college i know the odds are the it won't work but im willing to try, im prepared to jump off a bridge for this girl she means so much to me and i don't want to loose her. i am planning on having a talk with her about the whole thing (we've had mini-talks about it she knows that im a little scared but want to make it work) so if anyone has any advice on this thanks a lot!!

[popobaby]

hi,Jason,currently i am in a LDR,but a bit different from urs,anyway,my bf is in usa and i currently stay in china,soo we have semi-globe between us,and this has been for 10 months,but we still love each other so much,even deeper and deeper everyday.
soo what i recommend most is have a talk b4 she goes to southern Car..u both need to foresee the difficultises and the annoying stuff involved in the LDR,but as for me,the trust issue is the most important key issue.and also communication of course.if only u both can solve good solution to these 2 key issues ,then i think ur relationship can go through this 4 years.
as for the contact,i know sometimes its kinda frustrating,coz u both cant have physical contact for a long time,and the only way for u both is talk over phone ,or send email or chat through the internet,sooo unless u both can put 100% of ur effort,its really hard.soo i have to say persistance is very important too.
thats currently what i think that can help u,if u like ,u can PM me,i would try to help u then
good luck& take care
popobaby

[Jason29]

yeah i knew it would come down to those two things trust and communication. Me i think ill think have a problem with trust but ill manage. Thanks for the advice and if anyone else has any other input please share.. thanks!

[LogicalFiend]

I completely Agree with popo just wanna add one more thing from my expirience, I had a LDR just like that, she was in korea, im in usa, I am in the military so i was there then i had to leave, she got really depressed over time, to the point that it was too hard for her. Just reemmber not to think about its never going to work all the time, she used to say that a lot, "when will we ever be together, i feel like giving up" but she would keep trying. It still lasted about 10 months after i left. theres anotehr stroy to that but ill save that for later. But thats the main point of my post, just never give up, dont depress yourselves(you and her) everything will be fine. Think about it popo has a 15 hour flight andthat cant be done all teh time, for them to see eachotehr you have a 4 hour flight or 18 hour drive you can do more often.

[yennichua]

Well, Jason... quite sad to read ur story...
i had an experience too...
But now I'm already broke up with that man...
A man that i loved the most...
He's my second boyfriend... and our relationship r 3 years long...
But because of the long distance..(he's Japanese=Japan, and I'm in Malaysia)
So we broke up... We still kept contact with each other... and after 5 months we broke up.. he sent me a news that he will get married on June which is last month...
I didn't went to his wedding dinner ya.... and i don't felt any sadness on the day...
because i know that however we broke up... he had loved me before...
and give two of u some time if you really love her... she will know you love her so much... and i believe that she will know... and show ur feel and love to her...
and she's find that your feeling as well....
Take Care...
Frm, Yen

[Ms_HmOnG_lADy]

Jason...a LDR is very hard and since you won't be able see and feel each other that makes things harder. But look at it this way ok...this give you the chacne to see how faithfull, honest and trust both can be. I'm in a LDR also and I know how you feel. What I know is that if a person really loves you nothing not even distance can't change the way you feel for each other. If you're having feelings then you should talk to her before anything else happen.... But GOOD LUCK TO YOU TWO THOUGH

[britishchick]

When i first met my boyfriend...i met him on the interent through some chat rooms and we clicked instantly. We both felt we were in love and he finally flew over to see me after 2 years of talking online and on the phone. He was in america and i was 10 hr flight away in england. He came and spent a month with me and my family and then i went back and spent a further 3 mths with him....after that we knew that there was going to be a big gap until our next visit. He was in the army so he couldnt just fly out all the time and i had a job to go to so it was hard. We didnt see each other for a whole year and yes trust was a big issue..but i got through it..we spoke on the phone every day for a few hours and we sent each other gifts and letters too and it worked out really well. We are now married and have 2 children together and i've never been happier. Women worry about trust a lot more than men do..u just need to sit down and talk about it and do something little all the time to let the other one know that although u are not there with them u love them and need them. The time will pass quickly but if u let ur mind get the better of u with the trust issues then thats where problems can occur...just take every day one step at a time and if u really love each other as much as u say u do then things will work out fine!

[lockstock]

I've read through most of the preceding posts and some of you have had some really rough times. Britishchick, that's one of the best stories I think I've ever heard. Awesome. Jason, I'm in college and have seen quite a few LDR's, all so far successful. I was almost in one, but then the girl backed out cause she just likes to play with boys. Left another guy at end of semester. Is leaving the guy she loves now cause she is convinced it won't work. Blah. Anyway, I have a small suggestion. First, I've made drives similar to that and I think it'll come out shorter than you think. Second, plan your schedules to fit the relationship. Plan it so you have no Friday classes so you can actually get a full weekend with her. See if she can get Monday's free so she can drive up and then back Monday for more weekend fun. Find somewhere in the middle, a friend or a hotel or even a camp site. It can work, dude.

[French056]

Write her some e-mails, phone her once or twice per week. And when you meet her on breaks you will really enjoy those times I know it is hard, but life is