Confused on how I should handle things with the ex - Love Forum

Slimjimmy · #1 (**permalink**) 19-10-04, 03:34 AM

My ex-girlfriend and I broke up about three months ago. I love her dearly and I know she love me too. To complicate the issue she is seeing somebody else but from what I hear it's not that complicated. I want to keep her in my life becasue we have such a great relationship but i'm not sure if that's the best thing. I wouldn't be doing this to myself if i didn't think there was a chance of us getting back together. Any advie.

Amyejean · #2 (**permalink**) 19-10-04, 06:58 AM

Why did you guys break up if your both in love? And being a girl I know if i loved someone and we broke up i'd be in my room crying like a baby, not out dating someone else especailly 3 months later.
If you have her in your life you may think it's only as friends but from your post you want her in your life so you can have that slight chance of getting her back. Apprently she has moved on with her life and I think you should move on. Find a new girl that you can have a good realtionship with and stop living in the past...The world waits for noone, why are you going to wait for a girl who's moved on.

Just my thought.

Amye

Jenrick285 · #3 (**permalink**) 19-10-04, 02:14 PM

Amy kinda just about said it all.
But if you keep her in your life, at least right now, it's gonna be really hard because you want to get back with her, but she's moved on and dating.
I would move on, especially right now, you're going to set yourself up for a lot of frustration and she probably does love you, but right now, she's not in love with you if she's dating someone else.

RuntimeError · #4 (**permalink**) 20-10-04, 01:21 AM

Hey Slim,
You know I am kind of am in the same sitution that you are in, and I have felt the same feeling as you have, that she was such a good friend that I should also try to keep the friendship, but there maybe deeper intentions which you have already stated clearly, just like mine it was to eventually get her back. I hate to say it but it is over, it is time to move on. I have come to the conclusion that she is with him for a reason, and not with you for a reason, so if she really loved you as a companion she would be with you don't you think? I though this girl that I was with was my "soul mate" but hey now she is out with another guy, soo much for that idea, if she wanted to be with me she would be, and that is the bottom line. Stop the torture, and move on, that is what I am trying to do, in both of our cases they(our partners) already have and there is no point in waiting, while they are having the time of there lives, we are planning plotting and scheaming. I have not had many relationships but I have come to a conclusion on love, that it comes and goes as it pleases, and we are to enjoy, embrace and cherish it when it is here and let it go when it leaves NOT try to hold on becasue if you do you will just hurt your self, not that I am an expert I have hurt very much from trying to hold on, but if I can help you from not going through that great. He is there for a reason, and he wouldn't be if she didn't want him there. I hope this helps.

blue · #5 (**permalink**) 20-10-04, 02:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RuntimeError

Hey Slim,
I have not had many relationships but I have come to a conclusion on love, that it comes and goes as it pleases, and we are to enjoy, embrace and cherish it when it is here and let it go when it leaves NOT try to hold on becasue if you do you will just hurt your self, not that I am an expert I have hurt very much from trying to hold on, but if I can help you from not going through that great. He is there for a reason, and he wouldn't be if she didn't want him there. I hope this helps.

wow this is so true why is it hard to let go sometimes????
blue

2 day

RuntimeError · #6 (**permalink**) 20-10-04, 02:54 AM

In my experience, there was emotional attachment, I tried fighting for her and holding on, but who am I to think that I can make love for me come back, I tried and couldn't, it just dosen't work and even if it did, why would I want the love of someone that I had gotten by manuipalation, I just wouldn't. I would want it the way it is suppose to be given as a gift. This maybe a bunch of bs, but for me these are some of my thoughts.

toto · #7 (**permalink**) 20-10-04, 07:25 AM

Nicely put by RunTimeError, im in the same situation and although i can be fine for up to a week as soon as i see her again the rest of the day is spent thinking of her and eventually i get my self down, (like today!!!). So my advice is to break all contact, the times when i have been feeling better and good about things is when i dont see her and she's been out of my life.

But like you we tried to keep a friendship going cos we used to live out of each others pockets, but then it seemed like we never really broke up! She must of came to the same conclusion on her own cos now we dont see each other at all unless its to collect stuff. And those times between seeing each other i get along fine untill the emotions come flooding back......sorry to steel the thread a bit there.

.....no mater how people try and heal your broken heart, you still have to do all the hard work!

RuntimeError · #8 (**permalink**) 21-10-04, 02:19 AM

You know I have been in that same sitution, I didn't see my ex for a month, I told her that I couldn't see her, call her or email her for awhile and she did the same for me and I was just fine, then I saw her for the 1st time after a month of no contact. I thought it would be good for me to go and thank her for the love she shared with me and tell her that I am not mad, that I still wanted to be friends, I had good intentions trying to keep the friendship alive and all hell broke louse. I found out she already had a new boyfriend he was there and didn't want me to talk with her. I almost was ready to brawl

but understood that is not why I went over there in the first place. I went over there with good intentions, and this is what came out of it. It was probably better that I didn't go over, but I did call and ask before and she said ok. Anyways this little incident messed me up for days. I just felt really bad and didn't know why I mean I went with good intentions. I look back and realize that, I don't have any reason to be mad at him although I would of liked him to eat dirt, she is the one that wanted him she opened the door for him, and as for her I can't blame her that her love for me left her and went to another. Am I hurt yes, but the no contact believe it or not worked, although I haven't gotten the courage to block her email, in hopes of her emailing me, I think that is the best thing, but what can I say I know what is right and do wrong, that is what a girl will do to ya.