It is a very passionate letter. I can feel the raw emotion.
However, I am a little lost. I think you intended it to be that way.
I am going to jump to a conclusion here:
Is your lover dying ? If so, let me say in advance, I am sorry.
If you want us to try and help (if you want it), maybe you could explain a little more ?
Chaf
"I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see."
- John Burroughs