Breaking up but not breaking up???

[Monkey633]

Hey guys, first of all this is my first time here, so hello to everyone out there. I'm a 20 year old female from Chicago. I think it's awesome that there is a place where you can go to for advice on relationships.

So here is my dilema....if anyone has any good advice I'd really appreciate it.

I've been dating this guy for 2 1/2 months and we really hit it off when we met. However from the beginning he told me he wasn't ready for a serious relationship and I respected that so we just continued seeing each other. However, a little while later he decided on his own (no pressure from me cause I honestly don't think I was read eiter) that he wanted to date me and awhile after that he fell in love with me (he told me first).

Now a couple nights ago he played the I think we should see other people card. During the whole relationship we always were open with each other about our feelings, so at random times he would start to panic when he thought about the future, but we always worked through them because he always said "my ife is better when your in it than when your not".

This time was different and when I heard those words "see other people" come out of his mouth I wanted to run away and not look back I was so mad. He went on saying, I love you and I don't want to loose you and I don't want things to change between us, but I can't be in a serious relationship right now. And he went on saying things like "cause eventually I'll **** everything up and hurt you more cause I'm a big **** up".

The other thing is that his parents are divorced and he's not close to any of his family. I feel like this thing that is going on between us is a personal problem, one he needs to work out and I feel like I don't want to abandon him if he needs me.

I guess what I'm asking is do any of you think it's a good idea to stick around a relationship in this type of situation. I'm afraid that I'm hoping something will come of it but nothing will. I do love this man and right now he's not pushing me away he pushing our relationship away. He still holds me at night, kisses me, tells me he loves me and it's like were still together minus the title.

Sorry for the long post, I'm just very confused about the whole situation and i need a little advice.

Thank You!

[leight69]

Welcome aboard, i think you'll find what I found, and that's this forum is great!!!

Please keep in mind that I speak on no-authority. It just sounds like to me like he's trying to have his cake and eat it too.

Personally I know the temptation of staying someone like this. But you're confused, and rightfully so. He tells you he loves you, but he doesn't want to be with you?

So what's the deal? I think you might find him to be far to emotionally draining and relationships shouldn't be draining at all.

I would also suggest telling him that he is confusing you. Watch out that you don't become a victim! Good luck!