I want to breakup without breaking hert, please help

[viper2003]

I met a girl, I was never physically attracted to her. She is a very nice girl in heart and she isnt bad looking. She is little below avarage. I have been with her for 4 months now. I have been meeting her once or twice a week. I stay in her place during the weekend and we have sex. Though I am really not interested in having sex with her I have it and I satisfy her. I never say that I love her anything to her. But I do see her at timmmes because I feel that she is lonely. I have even met her parents and help her move apartment.
I dont have anything to talk to her and I am not interested at all but I am afraid I will break her heart if I let her know so I am in so much trouble I am sacrificing myself just not let her heart break.
SO can anybody tell me how to breakup with her without breaking her heart ? It seems like I am her first boyfried. She did not ever have sex with anybody else but me, and she is already 27. Actually I met her from the net, At first we had a date and I did not know much about her. She looked okay to me, then we had second date and we went out and she was pretty wild (just being naughty in club with me, like kissing and dirty dancing) Then we started having sex at her place. I asked her at that time where things was going and she wasnt much clear and said it could be a summer fling. It was okay with me. Then later she said she fell in love with me. I had come to know that she is a very caring women, very nice women that there is harly anybody out there (you guys would be amazed how good she actually is ) So I could not deny. But the main problem is she is not my type. I have never let her felt that I find her unattractive but I have never said any beautiful words to her to make her feel that I find her attractive, but she still clings to me. Physical appreance isnt that important to me, but upto some extent it is. .
Please tell me how to break up .

[Collegrrl]

Hey there:

New to this board, but I do have some thoughts on the issue at hand. You say that you're not attracted to her and don't want to hurt her but you already have by leading her on and sleeping with her. Don't tell her ANYTHING that you've posted on here...it would surely break her heart.

I think you just need to be real with her and tell her that you simply want to move on and END IT NOW while it's still relatively new to both of you. She was a virgin and she gave that to you so obviously she's going to feel a very strong connection to you and it will be very very difficult for her to move on and forget about you...if she ever does. Be a better man and tell her that you do care about her which is why you feel it would be better if you stepped out of her life and let her find someone that will treat her the way that she deserves.

Nice of you for trying to boost her self esteem--but you're not going about it the right way. She deserves better.

Collegrrl

[viper2003]

can someone give me better answer

[Collegrrl]

I suppose I shouldn't have even tried to respond to this guy, he's obviously not very intelligent. This is apparent by his utter disregard for words of wisdom along with his lack of grammatical awareness.

Hope you grow a brain soon buddy and God help the women that get involved with you.

Collegrrl

[viper2003]

Your answer was obious. I wanted something that was not in my head. I had the same answers that you have posted . Well english is not my mother tongue, so I have some gramatical errors sorry about that. I have been very good with women I have been involved with. You said I did the wrong thing by sleeping with her. Well I am very kind hearted, I saw she was virgin and very excited to have sex. So I thought I did the right thing.
I know it will be difficut for her, I was looking for a solution. What is the end of this ? Ok if I get married would we be happy ? There has to be end of everything. So what shouild I do.

[leight69]

SO can anybody tell me how to breakup with her without breaking her heart

Isn't that the eternal question!!

To bad, its not going to happen. Period.
a) Break ups suck
b) If you don't want to be in a relationship then get out.
c) there is no way around breaking her heart. sorry.

Cut the ties and move on. She'll be better off. And so will you.

[Zekk_T_Strife]

Collegrrl's answer may have been obvious but it doesn't make it any less of the right way to do it. You will break her heart. Good luck.

[ineedsomespace]

There IS no magic solution to this that no one else has thought of. There's no back door. However...

My advice would be to tell her that there's something you've been scared to talk to her about because you've been terrified about hurting her feelings.

Say that you feel you have to talk to her about it NOW before things go any further, because the longer it goes on, the harder it will become for you to tell her.

Say that when you first got involved with her you were swept up by the whole affair, but as time has passed you have come to realise that things aren't going to work out between you, so you feel you should end things now before it becomes too hard.

You're just too different.
You want different things.
(Whatever you think fits).

You can probably take it from here.

One thing I can say is that once this conversation is under way, and there's no going back, you'll start to feel relieved that you are actually doing something about it. You will also find that however hurt she might or might not be, life will go on! It's not the end of the world - just do it.

Alternatively, if you can't think of you own excuses, you could try this "do it yourself" multiple choice breakup letter.