Devestated and confused
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    Devestated and confused

    I met this guy about 8 months ago and it was strictly business between him and my family. I was in charge of handling this business with him on behalf of my family so we talked almost everyday. At that time he told me was going through marriage troubles. Four month later his wife left without explanation and left him everything behind. We continued our business communication as usual but we became more like friends. Since we first met he would flirt with me whenever he sees me and he would say things that I didn't understand at that time. I didn't know he was interested. Fast forward, he asked me out for couple of months before I finally agreed to go on a date with him. Things were amazing and he made everything possible to see me smile. He'd call and text throughout the day even if he was busy he'd still make time to call and let me know what's he up to. He introduced me to his family and friends and things were just perfect. At this point he was filing for divorce and his ex started to contact him in regards to that matter. It didn't bother me one bit and I respected his personal problems and gave him space to handle it. He'd ask me for advices and my opinion mattered to him. His parents likes me and invited me to join them whenever they go out. It seems like we were out almost every day. All of this happened in about two months. But to me it seemed like I've known him and his family since forever. They felt the same about me.
    Couple of days ago we had dinner and we planned on a short vacation by next week. Everything was going so perfectly. He dropped me off home and kissed me good night.
    Next morning I texted him like how I'd normally do and he texted back. A few minutes later he texted that we need to talk! I was so worried I could hear my heart beats. He called and said he can't continue this relationship anymore. He's financially stressed and his ex constantly contacting him causing him more stress. He told me "everything felt right when I asked you out and I was really happy that you agreed to be my gf Then my feelings started to slowly fade away I don't know why! I think I'm not used to someone cares for me this much I got scared or I'm not ready for a serious relationship I'm not sure what's going on with me". I was numb I didn't know what to say. I hung up and started crying. I called him back and asked to see him because I was in shock and was hoping that he wasn't serious. He left his work early to come see me and he was crying as I was too. He said he never cried for someone before and I was the perfect companion and he knows that he'll regret it one day. He said when I get my life together I know that I'll be back looking for you but I don't want you to wait for me because that's not fair for you. I cried so hard and begged him for hours not to leave me. I even suggested that we can take a break from one another and when his issues resolved I'll be here for him. He said I don't know how long it'll take so I hate for you to wait for me.
    I was crying like crazy and my heart was bleeding. I texted him the next morning asking him why did he left me like that and what did I do to deserve that? He responded that I didn't do nothing but cared and loved him geneuily and he felt like my emotions were too strong and his weren't at the same level of mine. He said he was distracted by me and he wants to resolve his issues and get back on his feet before he can settle in a relationship. I asked him if he likes me he said he does but not enough which I didn't understand what it means! Not enough to keep being with me or what?
    I'm so hurt and depressed. I didn't leave my room ever since and I don't feel like seeing anyone right now. His mom texted and told me that I'm too good to be true and he was scared of this relationship. She said her son has issues and he'd always date someone and when the girl cares for him he shuts down and leave but she thought I was different and special that's why they all liked me and were happy to invite me wherever they go. I was devestated and still is.
    Because of my family traditions my relationship with him was a secret one. I was slowly introducing it to my family and he was aware of this. He supported me and started to learn about my culture and he liked it a lot (I'm Arab and he's Hispanic). We had so much in common when it comes to traditions so it wasn't hard for us to get along.

    Yesterday I was forced to contact him in regards to family business he was very welcoming and sweet as usual but he kept it business conversation. I asked him how's he doing then he started to update me with everything going on with him and his divorce and finances. I felt like he wanted to keep a friendship between us and I made a mistake by saying if you ever need to talk to someone I'm here. As soon as I hung up I realized that was the stupidest thing ever and he may think I'm desperate to be around him. He said he'll call to follow up on the business matter but he never called or texted.

    Sorry for the long unorganized post. I truly need your advice. I'm confused hurt broken hearted and I want him back in my life. Please help me guys.

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    he must finally realise that it is not his decision to make in your place.
    if he thinks you are perfect for him then that is fine. If he just breaks up with you because he has issues then it is YOU who should decide wether or not you are bothered by those issues. He has to grow up and realize that not everything is his decision to make.

    To someone who is as hurt as he is it just takes time to love and to make love grow again. What did he expect? To have a rebound and then suddenly everything is nice?
    Relationships take effort. If he wants you and is just concered by his issues then its your decision.
    If he has a crush on you and likes you but doesnt love you yet: DUH! ofc. Because you suddenly love someone after two month of relationship?

    id tell him he is a stupid git and he should get his shit together. If he wants you, then you can make it work and its not his decision if he is worth the price.

    the only reason I see for you to not be together is if it really were that he doesnt begin to love you as a person.
    But who introduces someone like that to all their family? That doesnt make sense to me.
    If you think I am insulting you with my post or bashing you: You do not get the point.
    I am not here to insult or bash anyone. I offer up my free time to help. Take from my post what is useful to you.
    If you are angry about my post or myself, then please stop and think how that happened. Usually that is the way the brain responds if a critical belief system is challenged (its called cognitive dissonance). If you have trouble with it please answer in the thread. I will come back to you.

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