Do u think this relationship has even a slight chance?
I was in love with someone 6 years ago. We were engaged. But I fell ill (depression – was hospitalized) and he was pressurized (rather emotionally blackmailed) by his mother to leave me and marry someone else (arranged marriage). Six months within our breakup, he got married.
Meanwhile, of course I was heart broken but I eventually got over the sadness. I fell ill 3 times after that but gradually got well and have now been declared fit by my doctor.
I used to always think of him but consoled myself by thinking that he was enjoying his life while I cried for him.. so I’d better forget him.. and this logic worked sort of for me then.
2 years ago, I had written to him that I love him and he tried calling me from his new number. Not once but thrice. (bear in mind this was 3.5 years after his marriage.) Unfortunately, I missed his calls and realized only months later that it was his number. (By then, his number was out of service.) When I wrote to him asking abt it, he told me many things, one of which was “I wish u were a normal girl and never fallen ill (...) my life is like a long sacrifice”
We didn't communicate after that. It was just a friendly chat and after it ended, we didn't take it up again.
This Feb, he sent me a friend request and got me thinking abt him again . When I wrote to him that I’m still in love with him, he gave me painful silence. I forced him to tell me to move on and eventually he conceded and (unconvincingly) forcibly said that he doesn’t love me. He also refused to answer me when I asked him why he called me 2 years ago.
I then got obsessed abt him and engaged in a lot of one way communication (love messages) with him, which he religiously read (I was getting read receipts) but refused to reply or block me. In a way he was emotionally cheating on his wife so I stopped the messages after a week. (I forced him to block me by threatening him that I would write to his brother if he wouldn't block)
Now I am always thinking of him and from his hidden fb comments (which I discovered after quite a bit of searching), I realized that he regrets having left me because of societal pressure. (These were comments written in Jan this year, before we got connected in Feb)
I just don’t know how to get over him. I haven’t met a kinder soul and am deeply in love with him. Pls let me know what u think of my chances with this relationship and what my state of mind should be.
It’s been six years, why don’t I move on like everyone else?
PS: I did get into 1 short relationship after him, but that guy was big flirt because of which I broke up with him. I ended up remembering this other guy all the more.
Last edited by nili; 07-04-17 at 11:14 PM.
Think you missed your health cause he broke up with you after you lost your health. So its like your health asociated to you with him. You wanted thataproval again from him. But yeah you did pretty crazy by contacting him again and it was mistake cause it made harder to move on.
You need more time and more relationships to move on. Something better than this was. You kept returning in past what was mistake. Life goes on. Leave past behind. Believe in your future and think ahead not backwards.
Do you have future plans? Are they positive and bright? You need to do something meaningful with your life and feel happy again. Will take time to rebuild your life but its worth it. Also new love can help you heal too. If you have parents that loves you then keep close with them.
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Is theres still a chance?
I think too much time have passed from the moment you touched to the time that ran out.
Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will
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thanked for this post
Its not like he was associated with my health because I had fallen ill even before I met him (which I had honestly informed him). But he thought I would never fall ill again and proposed to me. And I of course accepted. But that was 6 years ago.
I am no longer sad (my career has taken a very positive turn), but of course I don't feel positive abt meeting someone as closely connected with me as he was. Ofcourse I will not write that in stone, because this guy was my SECOND love, so it means I do know to move on sometimes
But I just wanted to know what general strangers think of my chance with this particular relationship. Because I need to set right my expectations of the future.
So things are better that it seemed.
It dont look real. 6 years is enough time to move on. Even 3 years so a lot of time to move on even after hardest breakups. At least for me.
Think if you would have done everything right you could have completly moved on after first year of breakup.
Anyway better start something new. you know things wont be as they were even if you two come back together. You are two different persons now. Hes not the guy you knew and you are not the girl he knew.
Thats what I think. You might still think different.
Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will
thats a stupid question
Originally Posted by nili
i dont believe in chances
i believe in making something happen
or not making something happen.
chance is not fate
chance is choice.
If you think I am insulting you with my post or bashing you: You do not get the point.
I am not here to insult or bash anyone. I offer up my free time to help. Take from my post what is useful to you.
If you are angry about my post or myself, then please stop and think how that happened. Usually that is the way the brain responds if a critical belief system is challenged (its called cognitive dissonance). If you have trouble with it please answer in the thread. I will come back to you.