Any place you choose to go, or anything that you do, can be perfect for you if it suits the two of you and makes you feel comfortable. Go with your instincts about this. But consider the pros and cons of certain situations, and decide whether you can come up with something a little more creative in this new age.

The most common answer anybody gives when asked about where to go on a first date is "the movies." That suggestion certainly serves purposes. It's a common suggestion, so you don't risk coming up with something the other person is not into.

Going to the movies is safe because you don't have to talk to each other, providing you with some safe distance and less pressure about what to say during those several hours, and still providing you with something neutral (the movie) to talk about afterward. But the downside of the movies is that you really don't get to know each other. You're spending two houses paying attention to film instead of showing off who you are. It's time to come up with something a little more creative -- especially in the beginning, when you don't know each other well.

The other most popular date is "getting something to eat." By going out for dinner, you have the opportunity to talk and get to know each other a little better, while you can still have the safety of the distraction of selecting and eating food, and talking to the waiter. I certainly can't knock this as a suggestion. But the downside of going out to dinner on a first date is that you are put on the spot: You're facing each other and being forced to talk. If you are anxious about making small talk, this may not be the best place for you to start. As with the movies, you might do well to consider something a little more creative for your first date. Get the best of both possible worlds by doing some activity besides eating.

Another popular first date is "going out for drinks." Many people use alcohol to ease those first-date anxieties about relating to a relative stranger. Consider, however, that is would be better for you to face the situation of your date without any crutch, following the principle that if you are liked for truly who you are, then the relationship has a much better chance of progressing. Also consider whether being in a bar with singles trying to meet each other would stimulate any memories that would subliminally make you uncomfortable or distract your attention.


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