Avoid falling into the "I don't know" syndrome. This is one of my big rules about dating. Not only does it sound boring to say you don't know, but it is never true. Whenever someone is telling me about a date and answers a question of mine with "I don't know," I refuse to accept that as an answer and encourage them to come up with any suggestion or response. And guess what, they always can! So, you do know something, and that makes you a much more interesting person.

Try it. Imagine your new love interest asking, "Where do you want to go for dinner?" or "What movie would you like to see?" Imagine first answering "I don't know," then cancel that answer, think a minute, and come up with a suggestion. Any suggestion is better than none. Now imagine the most common question asked on the phone or in a greeting, "How's it going?" or "What's going on?" A common answer is "nothing" is counterproductive; you risk being judged as a bore, and it stops the flow of conversation. What can someone say after that? Instead, you have so many choices of things to say. You just need the confidence to be able to say anything that comes to you. Then you can talk about something you are doing at that moment, something interesting you did that week, or a feeling that you have.


Back to First Date