Define the amount of time of the date beforehand because you don't know how the first date will turn out or how much you will like each other. That means you should say ahead of time what time you want to be home, so it doesn't cause any anxiety during the date. Doing so gives you an easy out if you are not having a good time, without either of you having to come up with some lame excuse or feeling hurt or rejected. And if you are really having a good time, you can always extend the time.

If you haven't had such a good time and you really don't want to see the other person again, be sensitive and cautious -- and be honest (but not brutally so). Everyone wants to be appreciated -- and everyone is sensitive to rejection -- so in ending the date, follow these suggestions:

* Always say something nice about what you have enjoyed about the person's company and what you have done together.

* Add something about it being time to get home because it's late, or because you have a long drive or something to do in the morning.

* Point out the differences between you, your lifestyles, or your interests that will make the other person equally see that you are not a great match.

* Mention how you are really going to be busy -- for the next few months. Emphasizing the long-term will be a dead give-away that you are not anxious for another rendezvous.

If you have both a good time, the end of the date can be much easier than if you are not sure about each other. But you still might be a little awkward about what to say. my best advice is to be honest. Remember my basic principle about dating: Be yourself and don't play games. That means if you really had a good time, don't be afraid to say so, for fear that you will expose yourself or not be "cool." Be as warm and enthusiastic as you feel. Say openly:

"I had a great time."

"I'd love to see you again."

"Let's do it again soon."

If you have to hold back, or if she doesn't respond positively to your natural reaction, this does not bode well for her accepting you throughout the future of your relationship.

If you had a decent time but are not massively enthusiastic about getting together again, then find something nice to say anyway about your time together, without making any references to getting together again. Let some time pass after the date for the experience to percolate in your unconscious, and for you to either think about the person and feel you would like to call again, or for the impulse and the thought to not cross your mind, giving you a sign that you are really not that interested after all.


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